Anal Revelations
March 11th, 2009 | Author: Zille
I‘m resurrecting this entry because it seems to have gotten lost in the archives, and I’m about to write a whole bunch more about anal sex, so I thought I’d go over my previous thoughts on the matter. This is from an email to my Master, dated September 9, 2005….
Dear Master,
Oh, so much has happened since the last time I posted up here! So many wonderful things for me … but the most wonderful is that I am pleasing you, that you are not disappointed with my progress, and that you want to do more with/to me!
Tonight I shall write about a topic that has been on my mind very frequently since you brought it up, the other night on the phone. Anal sex. Wheeee! – I never get tired of the naughty thrill of saying/typing that!
Here is my history with it, Sir, as of course such a topic can always yield amusing results!
Anal sex was a far from my mind as possible when I first started having sex. I know it must have been giggled about by me and my friends at some point, but I was as generally oblivious to it as someone who just doesn’t think about something can be. It was not even an option, in my mind.
When I was dating I— , he asked me if I would do him a sexual favour (and, I said, “Yes, of course, dear, what can I do for you?!”) and that was when he asked for either anal sex or me to shave my pussy. You know which I chose! I told I— at the time, and I meant every word of it, that “I will never have anal sex!”
Which is what I told C— , he being the next boyfriend. He said he was entirely fine with limiting our sex-life to oral and vaginal delights.
He laughed so hard that if he had not fallen out of bed I would have pushed him, when, a year or so later, I asked him to fuck me in the ass, please!
What happened to change my mind so drastically? Two things: Pat Califia
So that night, once C— got done rolling on the floor laughing at me and I stopped pouting about being laughed at, we got to it. I have to say for C— that he was always a careful and dedicated lover: therefore, perfect for a first-try at anal. We got the lube, and he got worked his way up to having three fingers up there with me really enjoying it. And then, figuring we’d stretched things out nicely, he tried his cock. No go. A real unpleasant pain came up immediately, and my first instinct was: Get It Out Now!
And it was like that for years. I’d really get off on any number of fingers digitally stimulating me back there, even quite vigorously, but trying later with other lovers yielded continuing unsuccessful results.
Meanwhile, butt-plugs were great! Vibrating or not!
It has been in the past two years that I have come to love the feeling of a cock pushing deep into my ass. The factor that brought results: I suddenly realized that I could play with my clitoris at the same time as being fucked in the ass!
With the pleasurable sensations running outwards from my clit, suddenly the “stretching” sensations in my ass that seemed to occur the most during penile-anal sex and which I had always perceived as painful – became pleasure as well. And the moments in the beginning, when it can seem just “all too much,” before you are opened up enough … while I was rubbing my clit, that pain became a turn-on instead of a turn-off.
Being a “lesbian” (that is, “bisexual in a long-term relationship with a woman”) had really done something weird for my sexuality! When I was sleeping with guys originally, the things that turned me on were … well, mostly, me getting some nice orgasms. But after a period of not sleeping with men, followed by a period of wanting to sleep with men again but feeling pressured not to (A. really was never comfortable with me sleeping with guys, so it was easier to take female lovers — we could share that way, anyway!) and so voraciously re-reading my Victorian erotica and White Shadow’s Nasty Stories (now sadly defunct), I had now become really excited about the idea of guys coming inside me. (I think that in high school I had been so worried about pregnancy that I thought sex was much hotter if all that nasty sperm was contained in a nice latex condom…!)
But now my fantasies couldn’t get hotter than being a Victorian girl who was just coming-of-age, and whose father/brother/uncle took it upon themselves (selfless gentlemen that they were!) to teach me the ars amours. Of course, being gentlemen, they would worry about getting their darling daughter/sister/niece pregnant, so they could twiddle my little quim with their big masculine digits all they liked, but their cocks always ended up in my arse….
And other fantasies. Years of nightly fantasies. I could go on for pages and pages just giving brief outlines! But, most relevant to this topic, suddenly I could care less about my pussy. That was where I was generally getting fucked, but in my mind I was only being fucked in the ass – thinking about anything else wouldn’t even come close to getting me off!
UPDATE: As of today, my fantasies remain anal in theme. In my head, I pretty much only get vaginally-penetrated if something else (ginger, anyone?!) is already stuck up my bottom! And, of course, I’ve learned to appreciate the pains of anal sex, even more than the pleasures: indeed, they have become the pleasure, for me!
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