Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

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Well, it’s pretty clear how happy I am, as I snuggle into the delicious bosom of Pandora Blake after our shoot. She doesn’t seem too unhappy to have me there, either!

Of course, we were also both quite high on endorphins. For some reason….

I have such happy memories of that day. I can’t wait for the other video we shot to go live!

Read more about the shoot here

Our lovely friends at NSI have done a great video, with a theme that is close to my heart: the James Bond kind of spy, naughty femme fatale villains, and helpless damsels in distress!

Russian spy, Onya Bakyabitch, has been up to her old tricks again and has kidnapped the daughter of British Group Captain Montana. Hidden on her submarine, she demands her ransom of the plans for Britain’s new stealth aircraft. Otherwise she will return the Group Captain’s daughter. In pieces. Group Caption must send in his best and most skilled agent for the job to rescue his precious only daughter…

I have always enjoyed the Bond oeuvre, because it was such obvious fantasy fodder. Sexy gals who I wanted to grow up to be like (and also just plain wanted!) and not just hot bad guys, but a strong, assured main character for whom I was surprisingly just as hot. (I was generally always more attracted to bad guys, because it was a lot more likely the bad guys would kidnap me, tie me up, and do mean things to me! But 007 just might smack you around a bit, too, so he was a hot good guy!)

I’m now getting lots of ideas for a spy spanking story. Maybe it’s time to sit down and write it….

Two things are making me think about my schoolgirl uniforms, today.

One, American Apparel has just come out with their own line of Pleated Schoolgirl Skirts which is really good news, because it means that it is much easier to pick up very authentic looking (not the slutty, obviously fake kind) skirts which are nonetheless made to fit people who have secondary sex characteristics (relevantly: a hip to waist ratio which is not equal!) They have a range of colours including: Heather Taupe, Light Charcoal, Dark Charcoal, Navy, and Black.

For me, authenticity is just so very vital. I don’t mind wearing a tarty little tartan number for parties, or in a joking way around vanillas or spankos who will find it funny. But for real scenes with Mr Defeu and other people who care about such things, well, authenticity is where my heart lies; it helps me get into that vulnerable headspace which makes a spanking scene so much more intense. For me, a slutty skirt would actually act as a shield, something I can hide behind, not something which helps me open up. (I realise this is ironic when the slutty skirt involves so much less material. It’s just one of those weird things: I feel emotionally nakeder in the longer skirt, with big ol regulation knickers under that!)

On the other hand, I don’t want to be just wearing an ill-fitting costume. I want the uniform to be something I would wear, something in which I can look smart. So sometimes, it is hard for me to balance the desire to get all my schoolgirl clothes from the children’s uniform section. Making real schoolgirl skirts for adults addresses this problem perfectly. (After all, the skirt fit you when you were a child. Why should an ill-fitting one be more “authentic” than one made for your current shape and size?)

Also, Maggie Mayhem has done a very intense post entitled Why I Hated My School Girl Skirt Then And Why I’ll Fuck In It Now. A quote I really like:

Porn isn’t in the wrong for using the school girl uniform, schools are already forcing and establishing the dominance pecking order by establishing a school girl uniform. That’s some non-consensual D/s shit and it’s much more appropriate to do between two consenting adults. Consensual outlets for self-aware control freaks, that is my sexual harm reduction method. Your brain is the best sex toy you will ever own and part of fighting oppression is looking into yourself and how it holds you back and how to participate in it. When you eroticize something, you pull it from that context and begin to engage with it in a way that moves towards more awareness. Just playacting doesn’t create the conscious awareness, thinking about why and the context with which you have those feelings is a separate and long process. At the very least, the images jump to the forefront of your brain in a place where you cannot and will not ignore them completely.

So what’s the word for that sexual identity?

If you don’t like rough “consensual non-consent” anal play, do not go any further in this post!

As you know if you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, I love the idea of anal punishment. I love when Mr Defeu fucks me in the ass and it hurts the whole time — indeed, if I start to derive pleasure from it, I feel a bit disappointed!

So, nasty ol’ pervert that I am, I love the following clip. It pushes all the right buttons….
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Maggie Mayhem recently wrote about the shocking news that high school kids are having “group sex”, in one of her usual witty posts.

It got me remembering high school, and those memories exactly confirmed what she said in her post

Teenagers don’t have studio apartments. Maybe they have cars, all ages punk rock venues, hamburger stands, coffee shops, dances, parking lots, playgrounds, and their one friend who has parents vacationing in Europe. It’s not like teenagers invented the rule that you had to be 18 or sometimes even 21 to rent a hotel room.

Multi-person sex among teens is also known as, “DUDE! Steve’s parents are out of town and he has a heated swimming pool in his backyard! Party Friday night!”

I lost my virginity (with a boy, that is) when I was 15. My friends had gotten tired of me endlessly discussing my desire to have my cherry popped, and so they introduced me to a nice guy named Kwan who also, it seems, had been endlessly whinging about the same things as I.

He and I went on one date to make sure we liked each other, and we each found the other person eminently suitable for the job. We started chatting on the phone, and decided we actually really liked each other. So the date was set, and off we went, out into nature, for a ménage a sur l’herbe, as it were. A bit of the ol’ al fresco, nudge, wink.
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