Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘books’ Category

I got the idea for this from the wonderful Mija.

It occurs to me that I’ve never written about my first spanking on my blog! This is probably because, like the first time I had sex, it really wasn’t the best example of the experience. But still, it’s worth remembering!

When I was 17 I was busy discovering the stories of Robert A. Heinlein (a topic I’ve written about before). And one of the things that was really exciting me about them (besides the excellent writing, fascinating plots, strong characters, and first view of positive polyamorous relationships) was all the spanking RAH manages to work into his tales. (There’s a pun there involving “tails” which I will ignore. You can thank me in the comments.) One spanking I remember well from first reading when I was 17 was from I Will Fear No Evil:

He stepped to the wall and squeezed down the intercom to zero, then said gently, ‘Get dressed, dear.’

‘I won’t! If we leave now, you’ll have to stuff me into the car bare naked.’

He sighed and picked her up; she stopped crying and looked suddenly happy.

The expression did not last. He turned her in his arms as he sat down on a straight chair, got a firm grip on her, and walloped her right buttock. She yelped. And struggled.

He got her more firmly, placing his right leg over both of hers, and applied his hand smartly to her left cheek. Then he alternated sides, stopping with ten. He set her on her feet and said, ‘Get dressed, dear. Quickly.’

She stopped and rubbed the punished area. ‘Yes, Jake.’

Neither said another word until he had handed her into the car, climbed in after her, and they had been locked in. Then she said timidly, ‘Jake? Will you hold me?’

‘Certainly, darling.’

‘May I take my robe off, please? Will you take it off me?’

With the robe out of the way she sighed and snuggled in. After a bit she whispered, ‘Jake darling? Why did you spank me?’

It was his turn to sigh. ‘You were being difficult … and it is the only thing I know of which will do a woman any good when a man can’t do for her what she needs. And right then – I couldn’t.’

(Copied from SpankingBlog — thank you Spank Boss for typing that one out! Head over there for more from that scene, and another spanking scene in the book!)

At that point in time, I had a boyfriend who was my first properly kinky boyfriend. Since I don’t think he’d mind in the slightest being mentioned in a porn blog, I’ll call him by his real name, Ira (which happens to be a common name in Heinlein novels, amusingly). He wanted to experiment with bondage and roleplay (Uncle Ira coming over to “take care of” little Zille in her nightie). He also was the person responsible for getting me to start shaving my nether bits (you can thank him in the comments, too, although I rather think I get more credit by this point in time for keeping it up all these years!)

He must have given me my first spanking. But, to be honest, if he did, I don’t remember it at all. (I do however remember the scene where he was “breaking into” my room, and was hog-tying me — presumably to be followed by discovering that sex is not particularly easy in that position. We were at my parent’s house, and not expecting anyone home for hours. Suddenly, we heard the door open and close downstairs. This was followed by a rather frantic out-of-character discussion: if it was my grandfather we were fine — he was mostly deaf and wouldn’t come up to my room, anyway. But if it was my mom…. We rushed me out of bondage — neither of us had the notion of Safety Shears at that time! — and got clothing back into order … and then discovered with relief that it was indeed my grandfather, but didn’t have the courage or energy to start the scene up again!)

So possibly, my first spanking came from an ex whom I have previously called The Lost Prince on this blog. He wasn’t big into the idea of spanking, but he was willing to give it a fair go.

He got me over his lap, bottom bared, and give a light smack. “Harder!” I complained. And so he raised his hand up, and came down with a proper smack. “Ohhh…!” He sighed happily, “It leaves a hand-print!” And then he took off, leaving as many hand-prints as he could, while I gasped and bounced and started to regret inspiring that enthusiasm! (No, he didn’t become a real spanko, in the end. But I bet he has happily left hand-prints on other girl’s bottoms over the intervening years!)

So there, anyway, is either my first or second spanking. Not the most thrilling start to life as a spanko, but not a bad one, either!

All the recent not-playing has left me with lots of time to read (oh, what a wild life I lead!) and I’ve continued on with my “Heinleins That Don’t Get Enough Attention” list. It seems I’m not the only one to realize what a great book Double Star is:

Whatever your viewpoint on SF, the fact that an award-winning book from a man generally named as one of the genre’s founding fathers (alongside Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke) is so little known amongst otherwise knowledgeable cultural journalists says something about the way the genre has been marginalised by the UK press. Now that I’ve read the book, such ignorance also seems a shame.

The replication in question concerns an egotistical actor who is called in to act as a double for a political leader after the man himself is kidnapped. The actor (The Great Lorenzo) successfully performs a tricky diplomatic mission on Mars and is then called on to encore after encore after it becomes clear that Joe Bonforte – the man he is pretending to be – is unlikely to be able to appear in public again.

So far so simple. The story moves at a sharp pace, helped along by Heinlein’s slick prose and the kind of wry good humour demonstrated when he describes the multi-consonant names (Rrringrill) he has ascribed to his Martians as sounding like “a leaking faucet”.

In common with much of the best SF, it’s not just the scientific ideas that make this book worthy of investigation. History does too. The political concerns and philosophy that Heinlein chooses to project onto his imagined future also provide an intriguing barometer of his times.

The book’s impassioned pleas for understanding and tolerance with regard to Martian culture, for instance, might not make for a subtle allegory, but it is moving given the book’s context in 1950s America. It’s not beyond the realms of possibility that a few of those impressionable teenage white males who comprised the books original target audience went on to stand with Martin Luther King on the Washington Mall a few years later.

And, here, finally, is the quote that this whole post is about!

As my father used to say, ‘Larry, you are too durned pretty! If you don’t get off your lazy duff and learn the business, you are going to spend fifteen years as a juvenile, under the mistaken impression that you are an actor – then wind up selling candy in the lobby. “Stupid” and “pretty” are the two worst vices in show business – and you’re both.’

Then he would take off his belt and stimulate my brain. Father was a practical psychologist and believed that warming the glutei maximi with a strap drew excess blood away from a boy’s brain. While the theory may have been shaky, the results justified the method…

The images in this post are from Northern Spanking Institute’s epic space opera “Schoolgirls In Space”, which you should go watch immediately! Heinlein would have entirely approved of it!

I’ve been doing a thorough re-reading of Heinlein’s juveniles and short stories — I usually just re-read the novels, and I realize now I’ve been missing a lot of Heinlein-y goodness, especially spankings! I have lots of good spanking quotes to share here, now, and I’ll start with my favourite!

From, Magic, Inc.
— One of his very few stories that features magic instead of reasonably “hard” science. The witch, old Mrs Jennings, has called up a gnome who has done some quite naughty things. Beyond that however, he is rude to Mrs Jennings — which this powerful witch just won’t take!

He answered sullenly, like an incorrigible boy caught but not repentant, in a language filled with rasping gutturals and sibilants. She listened a while, then cut him off.

“I don’t care who told you to; you’ll account to me! I require this harm repaired — in less time than it takes to tell it!”

He answered back angrily, and she dropped into his language, so that I could no longer follow the meaning. But it was clear that I was concerned in it; he threw me several dirty looks, and finally glared and spat in my direction.

Mrs Jennings reached out and cracked him across the mouth with the back of her hand. He looked at her, killing in his eye, and said something.

“So?” she answered, put out a hand and grabbed him by the nape of the neck and swung him across her lap, face down. She snatched off a shoe and whacked him soundly with it. He let out one yelp, then kept silent, but jerked every time she struck him.

When she was through she stood up, spilling him to the ground. He picked himself up and hurriedly scrambled back into his own circle, where he stood, rubbing himself. Mrs Jennings’s eyes snapped and her voice crackled; there was nothing feeble about her now. “You gnomes are getting above yourselves,” she scolded. “I never heard of such a thing! One more slip on your part and I;\’ll fetch along your people to see you spanked! Get along with you. By the great Tetragrammaton, get hence to the place appointed for you!”

I love it. The minute Heinlein’s not bound by the rigors of science, he uses the rigors of spanking to control the world around him. And hey, what is magic but “the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will” — thus, spanking is magic!

In looking for an image to illustrate this post (for some reason, I could not find a picture of a little old lady spanking a gnome — I had to make do with a picture of a 1950s spanking!) I came across the best 1950′s spanking-on-television I have ever seen, down to the line, “And they love me enough to spank me!” Enjoy!

Originally posted on 30th Nov 2005.

Dearest Mr Defeu,

I may be too sick to write coherently, but I miss you, and the books you loaned me have put so many thoughts into my head, that I am going to try anyway.

It scares me to say this – the results are somewhat to be feared: but, I must say: I can take more. Oh, this is in no way a criticism, Sir, and how could it be, with you giving me the best “sex” of my life! Perhaps this is more a promise, a pledge: I can take more pain and I want/need to take more pain for you.

The other night, when you were playing with me and I asked you, “But what if I want to be punished?” and you asked me, “Do you want to be punished?” and I (having given it the due consideration of all of a second) said, “Yes,” – and then you tawsed my hands – I think the hardest you have ever done. By the time the last stroke came around, I didn’t know if I could put out my hand for it, and you grabbed my hand and pulled it out and hit it….

Image of Adele Haze from Northern Spanking Institute

Oh, that was so good! I loved being taken there, to that place where the pain was so much that I couldn’t manage to get that hand out for the last stroke – oh, it was a new and amazing place you took me to. You wondered why I was crying afterwards – that was it.

And I want to go there again. In A Degree of Discipline, there is a scene where Lucy is bound down with straps to a chest, and there tawsed:

Lucy howled and pleaded, wriggling and writing in a vain attempt to reduce the sting as Miss Parkin worked to a steady rhythm working down the slopes of her bottom, first one cheek and then the other, but to no avail.

I’m afraid that I will also howl and wriggle – I can’t really help it, although I do try my hardest and I hope that I will learn how to take a beating more silently over time. Recently I’ve found that even though the pain becomes enough for me to start making noise, noise I really can’t help because it does hurt so very much, but I know through the pain (and under the noise) that I can take more. So, I beg you, Sir, please give me more. I know there will be times when my pain tolerance is at a low ebb, say, late at night (or early in the morning, knowing the hours we keep) but, in general, I think my ability to take pain from you is getting more and more and more.

And, oh, how I want to! I want to please you, to satisfy you. Every time you hit me “not-quite-so-hard,” or you stop with (god-forbid) less than six … I feel like I’ve let you down terribly. I feel upset with myself, and afraid you’ll decide I’m not worthy of being your girl. Even if I “can’t” take the pain – well, not taking for you it seems worse to me than somehow managing to get through it!

And, while I love obeying you so very much (and here my bratty side jumps in to add that “it doesn’t suck”) I would also like to be taken to the place where I, under the duress of pain, beg you to stop – and you do not. Oh, it scares me to write that! I backpedal in my mind – think, “Oh maybe then he can at least tell me how many more I have left, to help me take it!” But really, I am learning that the pains of the cane, the tawse, the riding whip, etc., do not kill me nor even injure me (at least while in your hands, which I trust completely) and that knowledge gives me the courage to ask for “more” – because not only do I now know that I need it for myself, but I want – oh, do you have any idea how much I want?! – to give it to you!

I can write you stories, and give you gifts, and clean your apartment from top to bottom – but those do nothing to mitigate the deep debts I feel to you. You have brought me so much joy, made me feel so alive – indeed, given me a new and wondrous life as your girl, your slave. There seems no possible way to pay you back – but with my body, my pain, my tears – all my very self, given to you freely and lovingly.

And also it is a gift I long to give you. Not just as a debt of honor, but from the sheer pleasure of pleasing you.

Oh – I cannot go on. There is more to write – at the very least a decent closing. But I am tired and a bit dizzy and I will go lie down and wait for your call, dearest Sir…

This time every year, I take a short break from full-on spanking posts to write about the Dr Who Convention Gallifrey One. Last year this was somewhat more relevant, because I was dressed in schoolgirl uniform. This year I have no such excuse, but I don’t care. You get spanking- and kink-related stuff all the other days of the year! Besides, I am happy to think that I have a high number of fans who are also Dr Who fans — this obviously means I am doing something right!

I’ll get me in my costume from this year up tomorrow. Until then, I’m going to take a moment for another sort of geekery.

I was delighted beyond words (for at least a few moments, before words obviously returned to me, in no way negating my delight!) to see my current search engine results:

For those who aren’t sure what I’m actually happy about, it’s that my site has been ranked as real and important enough to have various pages from within the site listed on the Google page, making a nice big, professional listing! (And the fact that my site takes up the top four slots doesn’t hurt either, but that’s easier to make happen.)

Now, this is in part due my efforts in doing good “search engine optimization” (otherwise known as “SEO”), but mostly, it’s the way Google is doing their algorithms at the moment, and unless I put in lots of effort (something to which I sadly do not have the time to devote), I will probably loose this lovely listing. (Especially because this is, well, an adult site! Google is reasonably fair, mostly, but still, they do prefer non-adult sites!) Thus my screen-cap, to celebrate and commemorate this moment that only a geek can really be inspired to do a happy dance about. (Yes, I have done my happy dance. I even “squeed” in my lost-for-words moment!)

And while I had the search engine up, I found a couple links that also made me happy!

I found a review for Bottoms Up that focusses fabulously on my story in the anthology:

As good as it is kinky, Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories will propel you to pick up a paddle and share in both pleasure and pain, or perhaps to simply turn the other cheek. In “The Hardest Part,” Alison Tyler perfectly captures a sub in thrall to a man who knows the power of anticipation. A “Sorority Sister” bends over to please her big sister during rush season in Dominique Dunbar’s naughty tale. Zille Defeu’s “Reenactment” shows how some girls like it rough (and repeatedly). For those who have an endless capacity to bare their ass in preparation for a sound smacking–or deliver the deliciously ecstatic pain to a lover–this torrid tour de force is essential reading.

And teen-spankings.com says of my first video on Northern Spanking Institute:

What’s more, it’s a little naughty as you’ll see as Both Irelynn and Stephen look round a house for sale, shown by an unsuspecting Ms Zille Defeu (estate agent extraordinaire), only for them to put her nose out of joint and romp around the house with a riding crop and slipper as they christen the place – Spanking Couple Pervert Alert!

Yay! I’m an “estate agent extraordinaire!” Of course, the couple in question have never gotten back to me about the property, so I have to assume they just used me to get into the house and get up to their filthy perversions — whilst subjecting my poor innocent self to them!

Okay, more geekiness tomorrow, plus pictures!