Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘bondage’ Category

At least, I think that is Bettie — what do you think?

I just love this clip, and hope it survives on YouTube (just in case it doesn’t – Chross, do you have this?). There is, technically, no reason it shouldn’t be on YouTube, as everyone stays dressed, and there is even a moral lesson!

My exciting lesson for the day is that I find white knickers with black garters underneath very exciting! Who knows why — I’m normally the kind of girl who matches her lingerie not only bra-to-panty, but to all the rest of the outfit as well — but that look totally just pushed all my buttons — well, stroked them, really!

Hey, Maggie Mayhem, what say you that we remake this video, as authentically as possible? That could be our next project together…!

I know the purists out there don’t want to mix sex or other filthy kink in with their spanking, but I for one like all of the above, so what I like is shoots that do it well.

This shoot does it pretty well indeed! Lovely girl (a Miss Madison Scott), the guy at least starts in his suit (I wish he’d keep it on — there nothing hotter than seeing a cock jutting out of the suit trouser’s fly!) and glasses (phwoar!), there’s spanking, and then there’s lots of rough sex that the Madison obviously really enjoys (I myself prefer the pretend-forced sort in my fantasies, but it always feels safer for me, when watching a film, to know the girl was actually not hating every minute of it. For more “non-consensual” stuff, I need a disclaimer with the girl saying, “Yes, I’m a perv and I like to play this way and I had a great time!”) and then the setting has a library, which always makes me happy. Having rows of books in the background takes any porn a notch up for me!

Here’s some selections from the shoot that work for me (and, hopefully, you!)

Graham has just posted a though-provoking post, which concludes:

Anyway. I’d be interested to know how you feel about submission v. masochism – do you identify more as one or the other, or both? Does it change depending on the week, day, scene? Are you so label-transcending and over this shit that you don’t even think about it anymore?

Well, Graham, I am both, obviously.

I would point out that submission can be explored just as well in roleplay scenes (or other limited time-period options) as well as 24/7 “Serve my Master’s Needs all day and night” situations … and for someone starting their explorations, the former is much, much better than the latter!

This is not the only aspect of submission. From: TheTrainingOfO.com

There is some confusion about “submission,” which I blame on the BDSM folk’s propensity to put forth an “I am more of a ‘bottomless pit’ than thou” attitude. It’s like there is some competition between subs about who can take more pain, who can be more submissive, who is willing to give up more of their life for their D/s dynamic. It’s horrid, and it really messes with the heads of the people who are new to the scene and trying to find themselves a place within it. (Speaking from experience, here!)

The confusion about submission comes in when people assume it has to be this full-on thing. But the fact of the matter is that if you bend over for a caning or some whacks from a hair-brush, you are in that moment being submissive (regardless of whether you are a masochist, and indeed, if you are not a masochist, you are being even more submissive in that moment!) Only if every spanking you get involves you being tied down so tight you can’t move, after being “taken down” because you were unwilling to stand still for being tied up, does a spanking not include some greater or lesser amount of submission.

That doesn’t make you a submissive. There’s times throughout any vanilla day when you are compliant, acquiescent, or just passive, and those are all synonyms for “submissive” – and that doesn’t make you a submissive either. As any dog could tell you – there are times when it’s just a plain good idea to roll on your back and expose your tummy and wag your tail.

So playing around with submission is no big deal, and to some extent it is in most spanking scenes, regardless of whether you admit (or recognize it) it or not. You can take it up to another level by talking about it, and adding more of that dynamic, but being conscious of it and playing with it don’t mean it’s suddenly an ingredient that wasn’t in the recipe before – you’re just changing it up from a tablespoon to three Tbs., and maybe using grated fresh submission instead of dried powdered submission.

To address the other part of the question, my Master* and I started out with a very D/s dynamic, partially because that’s what I knew (coming from that world and not the Spanko one), and he was excited about playing with that dynamic.

Over time that has evolved, and I’d say we are now more Daddy/girl, or more like the domestic discipline people (although we don’t have a lot of things in common with them, otherwise!) but my submission has not changed in a number of ways: I try to serve him in such a way that it makes his life better (this involves making a lot of tea for him – not a very difficult charge!) and I accept his discipline.

I don’t shift in my submissive level as regards my Master very much. I can get in a shirty mood and be less considerate and obliging (and refuse to follow rules) but that is not a shift in personality as much as it is me being a spoiled half-child half-adult who needs some discipline! (As regards other people, I am not particularly submissive at all — I’m a take-charge kinda gal! A favourite saying from the BDSM world: “I’m submissive — but I’m not your submissive!”)

So I would say that most people’s labels/definitions don’t fit us very well, although saying that he is dominant and I am submissive gets a certain amount of information across most effectively, and our unique variations can be discussed in the depth they deserve, if the person actually wants to hear all about it!

*I capitalize “Master” because to me it’s a proper noun and thus should take a capital. No one else has to call him “Master,” and if they want to say, “Your master is a wonderful and fabulous man,” they don’t need to capitalize the M-word. But the whole D/s capitalization thang is an aspect of the “kinkier than thou” problem, and thus deserves to be disregarded as juvenile and ridiculous. No, I ain’t mincing words on this matter!

Hey all,

It’s been a pretty chaotic time for me, and I’m unsure when it’s going to mellow out, so my blogging is going to be random at best. (For those who care, I’ll probably be writing about it in my other blog at some point, but all you really need to know is that it’s family stuff — once that is said, anyone can understand!)

Here is a meme I’ve been working on, a question at a time, over the past mumble days. (Which I got from My Bottom Smarts — thanks Bonnie!) To keep people’s ears (eyes?) perked up, I shall intersperse images from Maggie Mayhem‘s recent super sexy shoot for “Everything Butt.” (And because I like looking at them — it’s as much for me as for you!)

1. Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cosy fire? Oh, cold is bad, baaaad! It’s not the idea of the woodshed – that’s certainly got its place in fantasy-land. But when I get cold I really just want to have a cuppa tea and snuggle up in a warm blankie, not get a spanking!

2. Would you rather be spanked in public or in private? I don’t mind the kind of public that is a fetish event or spanking party – and I was even flogged in the middle of the Folsom Street Fair. But I’m not okay with making vanilla people watch my kinky antics – it’s non-consensual! They didn’t ask to see that sort of thing, and I think it’s unfair to assume they want to. But as long as I know I’m someplace where everyone is on the same page, then public or private don’t matter to me!

3. Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked? Well, fantasies are lovely, but reality is more fun!

4. Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker’s pleasure? Why does this have to be an “or”? I assume we’re both here for the same thing!

5. Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Hand, every time. But try replacing “hairbrush” with “belt” or “cane”….

6. Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? Heh. I hadn’t even read this question when I answered the one above! It would be a sad world if I could only have one of these!

7. Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Well, that’s an easy one! I adore the riding crop, and hate the paddle with a passion!
Read the rest of this entry »

While I was angsting for five days over the writing of my last post, Kami Robertson quietly posted this little number, which at least compliments mine, but I personally think it simply leaves mine in the dust….

As I said earlier there are different names for our ‘game’.

There is a sexual abuse which happens in prison and other reformatory establishments where a guard abuses his power. It’s much more of a coercion really, because the girls knows she needs to comply if she want to avoid other, unpleasant and painful punishment.

There is the punishment fucking which seems for some weird reason to be extremely powerful for me. It hurts but there is no unnecessary violence, and the girl often cries. I don’t really know the reason for tears either. It might have something to do with humiliation or just a sign of resignation. I’m not sure yet.

And there is a proper rape scene, which in my opinion happens only when the girl has been kidnapped or attacked. It’s violent, brutal and hurt. Never had a pleasure to try that. Still on my list, along with a long scene full of misery, fear and abuse.

I admire Kami so much that she writes these things with such equinamity. The line, “And there is a proper rape scene,” just delights me with the ease with which it’s said, how it flows. I would stumble over it, thinking, “Do I dare use the word, “rape,” here, can I use it in conjunction with “violent, brutal, attacked” or would that be too offensive for people? This is my own journal, but on this topic I find myself self-censoring, making things sound more p.c. or at least (what I assume is) slightly more palatable by people who don’t have fantasies like mine.

Anyway, my own cowardice makes me really appreciate Kami, even more than I would from just finding a girl who’s sexuality overlaps my own so much.

In my case, I am lucky enough to be able to come from conventional sex. But, maybe “lucky” is the wrong word, because it let me get distracted by normal vanilla sex for years, and deny my desires for spanking and worse. I thought I was just sexually voracious (and was not displeased by that!) but the fact was that I couldn’t “get enough” because I wasn’t being fully satisfied — I had itches which were not getting scratched, and as much as I tried to ignore the itch, it just never went away. (And there we go: kink as stubborn rash. What sexy metaphors I’m going in for today!)

Anyway, despite being able to orgasm conventionally, it doesn’t really matter because when I play fantasies on the movie projector in my head, they are things that I’d wince and feel deeply uncomfortable trying to watch on TV or the big screen. As I’ve said before, I’m really mean to myself in my fantasies. A recent one was being beaten to the point of passing out (something which I have a certain fascination with, due to Victorian erotica) and then my unconscious body being used — and not in a sweet, romantic love-making kind of way! (The wry thought that this fantasy really is only of any use in my head does occur to me in the background of all this, that if I did this in real life, I’d be passed out and not able to properly appreciate being used and abused!)

Ah well — the main point of this post is to introduce you to Kami, if you’re not already reading her, and to thank her for her openness and sharing of difficult truths. I think even more than me, she deserves the wonderful compliment Mo gave me on my last post: “I offer you a fierce cry of solidarity for your making yourself so flagrantly effulgently vulnerable in your strength and your utter soulnakedness.”