Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘childhood influences’ Category

Maggie Mayhem recently wrote about the shocking news that high school kids are having “group sex”, in one of her usual witty posts.

It got me remembering high school, and those memories exactly confirmed what she said in her post

Teenagers don’t have studio apartments. Maybe they have cars, all ages punk rock venues, hamburger stands, coffee shops, dances, parking lots, playgrounds, and their one friend who has parents vacationing in Europe. It’s not like teenagers invented the rule that you had to be 18 or sometimes even 21 to rent a hotel room.

Multi-person sex among teens is also known as, “DUDE! Steve’s parents are out of town and he has a heated swimming pool in his backyard! Party Friday night!”

I lost my virginity (with a boy, that is) when I was 15. My friends had gotten tired of me endlessly discussing my desire to have my cherry popped, and so they introduced me to a nice guy named Kwan who also, it seems, had been endlessly whinging about the same things as I.

He and I went on one date to make sure we liked each other, and we each found the other person eminently suitable for the job. We started chatting on the phone, and decided we actually really liked each other. So the date was set, and off we went, out into nature, for a ménage a sur l’herbe, as it were. A bit of the ol’ al fresco, nudge, wink.
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I got the idea for this from the wonderful Mija.

It occurs to me that I’ve never written about my first spanking on my blog! This is probably because, like the first time I had sex, it really wasn’t the best example of the experience. But still, it’s worth remembering!

When I was 17 I was busy discovering the stories of Robert A. Heinlein (a topic I’ve written about before). And one of the things that was really exciting me about them (besides the excellent writing, fascinating plots, strong characters, and first view of positive polyamorous relationships) was all the spanking RAH manages to work into his tales. (There’s a pun there involving “tails” which I will ignore. You can thank me in the comments.) One spanking I remember well from first reading when I was 17 was from I Will Fear No Evil:

He stepped to the wall and squeezed down the intercom to zero, then said gently, ‘Get dressed, dear.’

‘I won’t! If we leave now, you’ll have to stuff me into the car bare naked.’

He sighed and picked her up; she stopped crying and looked suddenly happy.

The expression did not last. He turned her in his arms as he sat down on a straight chair, got a firm grip on her, and walloped her right buttock. She yelped. And struggled.

He got her more firmly, placing his right leg over both of hers, and applied his hand smartly to her left cheek. Then he alternated sides, stopping with ten. He set her on her feet and said, ‘Get dressed, dear. Quickly.’

She stopped and rubbed the punished area. ‘Yes, Jake.’

Neither said another word until he had handed her into the car, climbed in after her, and they had been locked in. Then she said timidly, ‘Jake? Will you hold me?’

‘Certainly, darling.’

‘May I take my robe off, please? Will you take it off me?’

With the robe out of the way she sighed and snuggled in. After a bit she whispered, ‘Jake darling? Why did you spank me?’

It was his turn to sigh. ‘You were being difficult … and it is the only thing I know of which will do a woman any good when a man can’t do for her what she needs. And right then – I couldn’t.’

(Copied from SpankingBlog — thank you Spank Boss for typing that one out! Head over there for more from that scene, and another spanking scene in the book!)

At that point in time, I had a boyfriend who was my first properly kinky boyfriend. Since I don’t think he’d mind in the slightest being mentioned in a porn blog, I’ll call him by his real name, Ira (which happens to be a common name in Heinlein novels, amusingly). He wanted to experiment with bondage and roleplay (Uncle Ira coming over to “take care of” little Zille in her nightie). He also was the person responsible for getting me to start shaving my nether bits (you can thank him in the comments, too, although I rather think I get more credit by this point in time for keeping it up all these years!)

He must have given me my first spanking. But, to be honest, if he did, I don’t remember it at all. (I do however remember the scene where he was “breaking into” my room, and was hog-tying me — presumably to be followed by discovering that sex is not particularly easy in that position. We were at my parent’s house, and not expecting anyone home for hours. Suddenly, we heard the door open and close downstairs. This was followed by a rather frantic out-of-character discussion: if it was my grandfather we were fine — he was mostly deaf and wouldn’t come up to my room, anyway. But if it was my mom…. We rushed me out of bondage — neither of us had the notion of Safety Shears at that time! — and got clothing back into order … and then discovered with relief that it was indeed my grandfather, but didn’t have the courage or energy to start the scene up again!)

So possibly, my first spanking came from an ex whom I have previously called The Lost Prince on this blog. He wasn’t big into the idea of spanking, but he was willing to give it a fair go.

He got me over his lap, bottom bared, and give a light smack. “Harder!” I complained. And so he raised his hand up, and came down with a proper smack. “Ohhh…!” He sighed happily, “It leaves a hand-print!” And then he took off, leaving as many hand-prints as he could, while I gasped and bounced and started to regret inspiring that enthusiasm! (No, he didn’t become a real spanko, in the end. But I bet he has happily left hand-prints on other girl’s bottoms over the intervening years!)

So there, anyway, is either my first or second spanking. Not the most thrilling start to life as a spanko, but not a bad one, either!

One upon a time, not that very long ago, there was a little girl, who would one day grow up to act in and make porn — not just a porn star but a porn monger!

However, she didn’t know that, yet, when she was in 1st grade (English version: Primary school, year 2). She was a sometimes naughty girl (although she was shy enough to mostly be naughty at home, but more well-behaved in public), but she was certainly on the path to becoming the girl she would someday be, as her taste for spanking had already been set by The Lonely Doll.

One day, this girl heard a rumour: that there was a boy who was selling – gasp – porn on school grounds (during recess, to be precise.) After a little investigation, she discovered that it was grainy black and white photocopies of the naked “native women” in National Geographic.

The impressive early business model was lost on her. So was the fact that the images being sold were barely titillating in the slightest.

So, you ask, what did she do with this information?

She tattled. Yes, really. If you ask the girl she is today, she can’t for the life of her think why she would do that sort of thing. Everyone hates a snitch. She never was a tattle-tale at any other time (well, except sometimes on her little sister, but that doesn’t count!) and she had not been brought up in a puritanical household where such notions would be instinctively offensive to her — thus, her later career in the erotic arts!

There are two ends to this story.

The first is that she did get a comeuppance — you’ll be glad to know! The boy whom she snitched on found her alone in the playground one afternoon. He chased her all the way up to the top of the jungle gym and stuffed sticky milkweed down her shirt. A fair enough revenge, you might think, except that this girl is the sort who would enjoy being chased and having stuff done to her when caught, so it was really more of a reward.

The second ending … hasn’t happened yet! And here’s where you come in: what long belated punishment is due to this girl? Looking back on it, she feels badly about her actions, and of course, it is horribly ironic that she even now makes money from the very thing that she ratted someone out for all those years ago. Even it it is clear enough that she has learned her lesson, it is only right that she be punished – the kind-hearted among you would do it to purge her guilt. (And the rest of you are just sadists and we know why you’d do it!)

So … what shall it be…?

Recently, my friend Haron discovered the spanking references in Heinlein’s Glory Road.

I am happy to see more people discovering Heinlein and his little notes of of kinkiness. I’ve been a huge fan of RAH since I was 17 — and discovering a mainstream author (indeed, a “Grand Master” of science fiction!) writing so openly about spanking helped me more than anything else to come out to myself as kinky.

I’ve been re-reading The Cat Who Walks Through Walls and it seems I’d forgotten just how much spanking was in it!

There is a running flirtation between our protagonist, Richard Ames, and a younger gal named Gretchen, who is barely legal by the standards of her culture (Luna, in the year 2188). It starts with her being this young and continues while she grows up a bit (although she grows up in time/spaces at right angles from Richard, but you have to read the book to understand that!)

It starts out:

“Sir, you paid for the cones … and now, if you don’t let me pay you back, I’ll get that spanking. Because Mama will ask me and I will have to tell her.”

I thought about it. “Gretchen, I have trouble believing that your mother would spank you for something I did.”

“Oh, but she would, sir! She would say that I should have had my money out and ready. And I should have.”

“Does she spank really hard? Bare bottom?”

“Oh my yes! Brutal!”

“An intriguing thought. Your little bottom turning pink, while you cry.”

“I do not cry! Well, not much.”

Later that evening, Gretchen tries to get Richard to take her virginity (by asking “Mr. Richard, would you really want to see my bottom turn all pink? And hear me cry?”). He is “saved” by his wife, although she eventually concludes there is no better idea than for Gretchen to marry them. (Different mores, folks, although I think better ones in many cases!)

Later, when Richard runs across an older — and pregnant Gretchen, he decides he should marry her because she shouldn’t have her first child as a single parent. He uses an interesting method of proposing:

“I want to marry you.”

“You do? Why?” She sounded sad.

Things were too solemn, we needed some skid. “Why do I want to marry you, dear? To paddle your bottom and watch it turn pink.”

Gretchen’s mouth dropped open, then she grinned and dimpled. “That’s ridiculous!”

“IT is, eh? Possibly having a baby doesn’t call for marriage in these parts, but spanking is another matter. If I spank some other man’s wife, he might get annoyed or she might or both. Chancy. Likely to get me talked about. Or worse. If I spank a single girl, she might use it to trap me when I don’t love her and don’t want to marry her but was simply spanking her pour le sport. Better to marry you; you’re used to it, you like it. And you have a solid bottom that can take it. A good thin, too – because I spank hard. Brutal.”

“Oh pooh! Where did you get this silly notion that I like it?” (Why are your areolae so crinkled, dear?) “Hazel, does he really spank hard?”

“I don’t know, dear. I would break his arm and he knows it.”

“See what I’m up against, Gretchen? No innocent little pleasures; I’m underprivileged. Unless you marry me.”

Gretchen doesn’t go for it at that time, but it’s pretty clear from the book that it eventually happens.

I love the idea that these books are in libraries all over the U.S. (and Heinlein was translated into many languages, so really all over the world!) and that girls just like my 17-year-old self may be finding spanking through these novels. (And, as good or better, also being educated and excited about the idea of space travel and the sciences, and having their minds opened to different kinds of societies and ways of loving.)

Last week I posted a video of spanking in vintage DC comics. There were some hot ones of girls being spanked both by the bad guys and the good guys, but most of the pictures were of Superboy getting put over the knee. However, the spankers who try to discipline Superboy find it’s more trouble than it’s worth – they’ll break their hands long before he even says, “Ouch!”

My friend Bill points out in a comment, “Doesn’t it kind of defeat the purpose of a spanking if you can’t feel it?”

Well, this got me thinking so much it’s become its own post! (Bill’s comments often do that.)

When I saw this video, I thought of the kids who have filled through those comic book pages, and thrilled to the sight of a spanking, as I would have done. (Erm, still do!)

So, coming at this from a kid’s perspective, there are two things to consider.

It was a common idea among children to stuff something into their knickers before a spanking which would take some of the sting out of it. It could be something soft that creates padding (an excellent example of this from the film Melody), or I remember a great Heinlein quote from To Sail beyond the Sunset

“…and if I hear just once more that you have lost your temper,
then when your mother sends you to discuss the matter with me, you had
better have your McGuffey’s Reader tucked inside your bloomers.”
“Father, you wouldn’t”
“Just try me, carrot top, just try me. I will enjoy spanking you.”

Superboy’s butt could be seen as the world’s most perfect spanking blocker!

Many kids who were titillated by the idea of spankings were also justifiably scared of them – they were better as fantasy-fodder than real life! So having the Superboy situation was a perfect compromise – the stimulating image of the OTK spanking, but then the safety of knowing that the kid in the image wasn’t feeling any pain.

So far from being counter to the whole notion of spanking, in a way this is just part of the spanking landscape, which is not too peculiar considering that many spankos (at least the ones receiving the spanking!) have a love/hate relationship with it!