Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘D/s’ Category

Mr Defeu has made my day — and, heh heh, my year, by insisting I get dressed in a schoolgirl uniform today, and then having a hot, intense scene with me!

Once I had gotten dressed in a navy pinafore, blazer, white shirt, striped tie, and navy regulation knickers and navy over-the-knee socks, hair up in a high ponytail, Mr Defeu was ready for me, and he dragged me (pretending to be unwilling, as usual!) to the bedroom.

Once there, we just naturally fell into a really fun roleplay interaction in which he was trying to get me to admit that I needed some long-overdue discipline, and I was trying to legalistically argue my way out of what was coming to me. Now, since Mr Defeu is way, way better at the whole legalistic reasoning thing than me, I was guaranteed to argue my way into a corner — and into more trouble! There was no way that I could “win” — and that was a win in my view!

After we’d bandied words to our mutual delight for a while, he decided my talking back needing something done about it, So he grabbed a huge mean tawse and ordered me to grab my ankles. Whooops! I’d not intended to argue myself into that corner! I yelped loudly for all six burning thwacks!

Then he straightened me up and started again. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sudden intense pain, but I didn’t want to give up the fight too easily, so I sassed him a bit more. This led to him pulling over the punishment stool, bending me over it, and giving me a serious six from a cane.

Yeeeowch! This time when I lifted me back up (not letting me lower my skirt), I was feeling a good deal more contrite!

I admitted, finally, that I was well overdue some discipline. He gave me a hug while I composed myself … but I could tell that his main focus was looking at my regulation-knicker-clad-bottom in the mirror on the wall….

Finally he said, “Well, I think it’s time you got over my knee, girl,” and he pushed me over and started in for a long and very hard spanking. I was shocked at how much it hurt — this was not a spanking I mostly enjoyed, with a few sharp swats giving it piquancy. No, this was one where I honestly yelped, squirmed, and couldn’t catch my breath and get on top of the sensations.

And, to be honest, when it’s all said and done, those are really the spankings I like best. (But don’t tell anyone! Especially not Mr Defeu!)

There was going to be no orgasming from this spanking. I was more happy to make it out the other side alive!

After it was over, he then gravely informed me that it was time for a caning. (The first caning of course did not count, as I was not properly subdued and submitting at the time!) I took a deep breath and let him arrange me over the side of the bed, truly apprehensive.

It was an ordeal. A brilliant, wonderful, really hot ordeal, in retrospect , but at the time I was going through it, it was just waves of pain. I managed to take some strokes without a sound, which I was very proud of, but I think the other strokes, where I yipped and kicked and bounced probably lost me any points I’d gained.

Finally it was over (and the minute it is over, some really masochistic part of my brain says, “Oh! Is it really over already? Why can’t it go on?!” but I try very hard not to let that be in my “out-loud voice”!) and he was lubing his cock up, and then pulling the gusset of my knickers aside, to push himself inside me.

I’ve said before (and will say again) that this is my favourite sexual “position”: bent over something, fully dressed in uniform, with just the crotch of my panties pulled aside and my legs together modestly, being roughly taken from behind. I can enjoy the variety of other ways of doing sex … but this is the bestest of them all, and the one of which I can never get enough!

Some wondrous time later, he pulled out and made me finish him with my mouth, which just felt right and proper, after all my mouthing off….

And then, both sated and very pleased with life, we deeply enjoyed the post-scene snuggle.

Bruises, as you may remember from posts past, are not something either he nor I want. Well, at least not long term — but when a scene is over I hate when it hurt terribly and I suffered horribly — and then there’s not a mark to prove it all! However, I really would like those weals and bruises gone by the next day … because Mr Defeu prefers a “fresh canvas” to do his art upon — and I want whatever will inspire him to greater artistic heights!

Today our play was extremely painful intense, but the marks right after play really don’t prove that — much to my frustration! I’ve been yelping every time I sit down, but it really doesn’t look like he strapped, caned, spanked, and caned me again!

I just had the brainstorm of actually searching for some products which help fade bruises faster. (Beyond just the simple arnica cream, which I’ve really never noticed to do a darned thing.) I’ve found some promising creams to test!

Help fade away bruises – faster. Fast dramatic results! You don’t have to live with embarrassing, bruised and discolored skin any longer – thanks to Vita-K Solution. Vita-K Solution Super Vitamin K with Arnica For Bruises combines Arnica – used by surgeons and dermatologists to reduce post-operative bruising and swelling and Super Vita-K – patented and clinically tested to help fade away the appearance of bruises, discolored skin, and other unsightly skin conditions. These two exceptional ingredients, blended in a rich cream formula, penetrate deep into the skin and begin to work immediately to promote the healing process and help bring back natural skin tones. Enhanced with Arnica and Super Vita-K for fast results! Arnica helps promote the healing of skin tissue.

With Clinicians Complex Bruise Cream, you need not worry about bruises. Clinicians Complex Bruise Cream helps in removing scars and bruises and making the skin smooth and radiant. This particular cream contains potent ingredients like Arnica oil, Emu oil, vitamin and green tea extract that are known for their cleansing properties and do not have any side effect.

• Removes bruises
• Formulated with Arnica and Emu oils
• Has cleansing properties

Clinicians Complex Bruise Cream helps improve and even accelerate skin’s natural healing process.

Donell K-Derm Cream utilizes topical vitamin K to help heal bruises, purpura, spider veins and small broken capillaries. It is specially formulated to infuse deeply within the skin to boost the body’s healing processes.

• Specially formulated to infuse deeply for maximum results
• Effective against spider veins, rosacea and under-eye circles
• Topical vitamin K helps heal bruises and purpura
• Hydrates and moistens the skin

Of course, my current “go to” rub for the bottom is Bath & Body Works True Blue Spa “Too Shea” 100% Shea Butter. Shea butter aids cell regeneration and capillary circulation and it melts on contact and is readily absorbed into the skin. (It also feels very luxurious when you rub it in. That is not completely irrelevant!) It might not aid the removal of bruising the way Vitamin K seems to do, but I think it will help prevent “leather butt” for those who play frequently. And it has other things to recommend it, as this excerpt from National Geographic shows:

Shea butter is ideal for the topical application of cosmetic and medicinal formulas.

Healing Qualities

The healing qualities of Shea butter are due to the presence of several fatty acids and plant sterols, namely oleic, stearic, palmitic and linolenic acids. These oil-soluble components are nonsaponifiable, meaning they do not undergo saponification, or convert to soap, when introduced to an alkali. Shea butter possesses a significantly greater nonsaponifiable fraction than most other nut oils and fats, which lends the substance greater healing potential for the skin.

Anti-Inflammatory Properties

Shea butter contains several derivatives of cinnamic acid, a compound common to cinnamon and balsam trees. In the May 2010 issue of the “Journal of Oleo Science,” Toshihiro Akihisa and fellow researchers published the results of a study that investigated the effects of four triterpene acids and four triterpene cinnamates isolated from Shea butter on tissue swelling in mouse skin. The scientists reported that Shea butter not only demonstrated anti-inflammatory benefits, but one compound, lupeol cinnamate, also prevented tumor development in a carcinogenesis test, a procedure in which cancer cells are literally “grown” in a culture dish.

I haven’t written about the dynamics about domination and submission for a long time on this blog. The reason being that Mr Defeu and I had needed to stop being 24/7 Master and slave when we went through some relationship issues a couple years ago. It was the most healthy decision we could make at the time, but it deeply hurt both of us to have to do it. We both want to get back to the correct balance of power (for us) as soon as we can — but we have to be careful to build up to it carefully and correctly (which we patently didn’t do the first time around!).

This past weekend, we took a step closer to that strongly-desired goal.

It was Sunday morning, and I woke up feeling generally upset. Well, specifically upset, on a him-and-me issue. I was supposed to join Mr Defeu in bed (due to insomnia issues, I’ve been sleeping in the loft bed in another room) as I do most weekend mornings (I miss sleeping with him, so I like to get in snuggles when we go to bed, and snuggles when we get up, which are the high points of sleeping with someone, anyway!). I joined him, but he could tell I was upset, and he held me while I composed my thoughts. I started telling him about them, and he suddenly stopped me.

“I want to try something,” he said, “I want to cane you, and have sex, before we have this discussion.”

Well, that stopped me dead in my tracks — I was not expecting that! Mr Defeu explained that he thought our discussion of the issues would go better after we had emotionally and physically connected.

Now, I was really not in the mood for sex, and really not in the mood for pain. If this had been earlier in my life, I would have flat-out said no. But I thought about what Mr Defeu had suggested, and it actually made a good deal of sense. We would be more in tune with each other after that, and thus more able to make it through the discussion in an entirely beneficial manner. It would undoubtedly work on all sorts of psychological levels for both of us. It was absolutely the right thing to do.

“But!” part of me whined, “I’m not in the mooooood! I don’t wanna!”
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Originally posted on 30th Nov 2005.

Dearest Mr Defeu,

I may be too sick to write coherently, but I miss you, and the books you loaned me have put so many thoughts into my head, that I am going to try anyway.

It scares me to say this – the results are somewhat to be feared: but, I must say: I can take more. Oh, this is in no way a criticism, Sir, and how could it be, with you giving me the best “sex” of my life! Perhaps this is more a promise, a pledge: I can take more pain and I want/need to take more pain for you.

The other night, when you were playing with me and I asked you, “But what if I want to be punished?” and you asked me, “Do you want to be punished?” and I (having given it the due consideration of all of a second) said, “Yes,” – and then you tawsed my hands – I think the hardest you have ever done. By the time the last stroke came around, I didn’t know if I could put out my hand for it, and you grabbed my hand and pulled it out and hit it….

Image of Adele Haze from Northern Spanking Institute

Oh, that was so good! I loved being taken there, to that place where the pain was so much that I couldn’t manage to get that hand out for the last stroke – oh, it was a new and amazing place you took me to. You wondered why I was crying afterwards – that was it.

And I want to go there again. In A Degree of Discipline, there is a scene where Lucy is bound down with straps to a chest, and there tawsed:

Lucy howled and pleaded, wriggling and writing in a vain attempt to reduce the sting as Miss Parkin worked to a steady rhythm working down the slopes of her bottom, first one cheek and then the other, but to no avail.

I’m afraid that I will also howl and wriggle – I can’t really help it, although I do try my hardest and I hope that I will learn how to take a beating more silently over time. Recently I’ve found that even though the pain becomes enough for me to start making noise, noise I really can’t help because it does hurt so very much, but I know through the pain (and under the noise) that I can take more. So, I beg you, Sir, please give me more. I know there will be times when my pain tolerance is at a low ebb, say, late at night (or early in the morning, knowing the hours we keep) but, in general, I think my ability to take pain from you is getting more and more and more.

And, oh, how I want to! I want to please you, to satisfy you. Every time you hit me “not-quite-so-hard,” or you stop with (god-forbid) less than six … I feel like I’ve let you down terribly. I feel upset with myself, and afraid you’ll decide I’m not worthy of being your girl. Even if I “can’t” take the pain – well, not taking for you it seems worse to me than somehow managing to get through it!

And, while I love obeying you so very much (and here my bratty side jumps in to add that “it doesn’t suck”) I would also like to be taken to the place where I, under the duress of pain, beg you to stop – and you do not. Oh, it scares me to write that! I backpedal in my mind – think, “Oh maybe then he can at least tell me how many more I have left, to help me take it!” But really, I am learning that the pains of the cane, the tawse, the riding whip, etc., do not kill me nor even injure me (at least while in your hands, which I trust completely) and that knowledge gives me the courage to ask for “more” – because not only do I now know that I need it for myself, but I want – oh, do you have any idea how much I want?! – to give it to you!

I can write you stories, and give you gifts, and clean your apartment from top to bottom – but those do nothing to mitigate the deep debts I feel to you. You have brought me so much joy, made me feel so alive – indeed, given me a new and wondrous life as your girl, your slave. There seems no possible way to pay you back – but with my body, my pain, my tears – all my very self, given to you freely and lovingly.

And also it is a gift I long to give you. Not just as a debt of honor, but from the sheer pleasure of pleasing you.

Oh – I cannot go on. There is more to write – at the very least a decent closing. But I am tired and a bit dizzy and I will go lie down and wait for your call, dearest Sir…

While my questionnaire about What YOU want in spanking porn goes on apace (and please take a moment to comment, if you have not. The more information I get, the more chance of me helping spanking producers making the porn you really want to see!), I’ll take the opportunity to post a shoot from the folks over at SexandSubmission.com which make me wonder if they have been paying attention to my own requests that they get more of the right sort of schoolgirl/spanking shoots going on.

The summary of the shoot, entitled “The Good Old Methods”:

Emma Haize is a disrespectful student and her professor Sarah Vandella does not know how to handle her correctly. She calls in the dean, Steve Holmes, who resorts to some old but effective correctional tactics. He then punishes and fucks both girls in bondage as a way to improve relations.

I think it’s just great that the “professor” is taken to task along with her student.
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From: Eve’s Corner Column #25, January 2011

This column features pictures from our first two videos of the new year: His Two Disobedient Wives and Starter Wife Trophy Wife Revenge Match.

This video stars Zille Defeu, her husband Duncan and Clare Fonda. Zille and her husband began coming to Shadow Lane parties a few years ago. We’ve been wanting to work with them since first meeting them but this was our first opportunity. Zille is a daring (and darling) San Francisco girl who has been featured in many a super naughty video before getting to us.

Zille (rhymes with Jill) is a fascinating young woman with her dainty retro wardrobe and kinky exhibitionist personality. She’s well read and charming and found herself a proper English husband to satisfy (I should guess) most of her gothic fantasies. Well bred but pro-active, Zille stands for perfect foundation garments, uninhibited sexual self expression and of course, classic domestic discipline. I didn’t cast her as a household goddess in my video for no reason. Polymorphosly perverse but always in the prettiest ways, the actress and film maker possesses a uniquely artistic flare for fetishism and porcelain skin that pinkens at the slightest suggestion of a spanking.

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