Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘daddy/girl’ Category

Well, this is supposed to be the third Shadowlane post – I know, I know! But the third post (mostly written) was overtaken by events – in this case, a whole bunch of work which had to be done, and then, what we in San Francisco refer to as “Leather Week” (the week that ends with the Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, filled with lectures, classes, parties, readings, munches, and other events) and of course, “The High Holy Day of Kink” itself.

You might say to yourself, “If Zille is as much out-of-the-dungeon-and-into-the-schoolroom as she claims, why does she keep going to these BDSM events?” It’s a fair question.
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I’m just loving the new video (look — saddle shoes!) on Northern Spanking Institute: the “Model Fantasies Film” “Teen Angel,” which introduces model Jenni Mack to the site, and also features the always wonderful Lucy McLean and Stephen Lewis.

Here’s how NSI sum it up:

An exciting start to the new year with this gorgeous little film. A period piece set in the 1950s. A personal fantasy of Lucy, who wanted to play a 50s housewife, with a daughter who is ordinarily a good girl but disobeys her parents. The part of the daughter played by new girl, Jenni Mack, is wonderfully believable. We hope you enjoy and please join us in giving Jenni a thoroughly warm NSI welcome. She is awfully pretty, with the most delicious bottom!

Click on the images above to go join and watch the movie in it’s awesome poddle-skirted fullness!

(Also — I was with the gorgeous Lucy Mclean when she bought that dress — I’ve never seen that shade of blue look so good on anyone else before! All hail Lucy — I am not worthy, I am not worthy!)

I just rediscovered this post, due to the fact that a spammer had left a comment on it. I forget how many years of regular posting I have here, and much of that was migrated from Livejournal, so it’s not been properly tagged and incorporated into this blog, so lots of the early romance between Mr Defeu and me is just sort of sitting in limbo.

I’ve decided to repost them as I come across them (spammers do have a use, it seems!) and so here is the one I found today, that is very appropriate due to the face that Mr Defeu and I are very much in a gooey-romantic phase at the moment….

From 28th August 2007….

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Mr D. was so sweetly romantic last night! I asked him if he’d read my journal entry, and he explained that he’d only read half, as his boss had walked into his office and he’d had to close the window. “But,” he added, “I do have one comment.”

“What?” I asked, a little scared that he might be upset with me about the post.

“Well, in that part where you say that despite the engagement ring on your finger, you can’t comprehend that it’s forever and ever … well, I thought you forgot an ‘ever’.”

“What –?” I asked, trying to follow the logic.

“Forever and ever and ever,” he said, looking at me with that earnest and open expression you only ever see on the faces of people who love you and trust you completely.

At which point I broke down and started crying and kissing his hand (which I’d been holding). “That’s what I really thought as I read it,” he assured me, which meant that I didn’t stop crying with happiness (and clinging to him) for some minutes!

He’s a big old sop of a romantic, he is! And, it makes me feel even more guilty for wanting him to go into another head-space when he’s enjoying the sweet and romantic one so much. I know that with the girls he was with before me, he didn’t get to explore that as much as he would have liked. He’s well known around the local kink scene for being a great Top (when I started dating him, I was rather bemused at how many bottoms came up to me and told me, somewhat wistfully, “You know how great he is, I hope….” For some it was just a kind — and true! — remark. For others … as if they were letting me know that if I didn’t work out with him, they’d be more than willing to replace me!
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I’ve been away from this blog too much recently, a combination of travel, holidays, and some poor health, and it’s been taking me forever to catch up with my friends in the spankosphere. But the fault is not mine! So many blogs have been pouring out really brilliant stuff recently.

First up, I’m totally jealous of Adele Haze, who did a kinky 12 Days of Christmas. That’s just the hottest thing ever. (And, unlike Leia-Ann Woods, I am still a “a spanking virgin of 2010” so when I say I’m jealous, I really mean it!)

Spankingblog.com posted the coolest Krampus picture as his Christmas gift to us this year. Thanks!

Kami did a scene with HH which gave her the wondrous revelation about herself as a spanko. While I personally would like to be left alone while I exercise (it hurts enough, thankyouverymuch, and when I work out I’m just focused on moving my body correctly or if it’s yoga, maintaining proper alignment, so I don’t need painful distractions) I agree with Kami that yes, everyone wants to see girls in gym shorts take a caning. At least my Master does, and his tastes have not just rubbed off on mine — completely supplanted (or at least modified) most of my fantasies.

EmmaJane visited a very dark fantasy recently. It really worked for me! (Although if you have abuse issues, I don’t recommend you try it – it’s all-too well-written.)

And The Spanking Writers always set a high standard, but even they have been sharing the most brilliant stuff recently. The pencil between the teeth story, for one, and a Christmas spanking, and then … well, I was totally bowled over when they honoured me with “Hottest Kinky Blog” in their The 2009 Spanking Writers Awards. I still haven’t thanked them properly, and honestly I don’t really know how – it means so much to me!

The past two scenes have seen a special growth in my Master’s and my relationship, through spanking.

There’s a sentence that needs an explanation, if ever there was!

I continue on my journey of discovering that I can be completely satisfied by CP, not needing sex to happen to feel that a scene is “complete.” My fantasies at the moment are about just being put over my Daddy’s lap, and spanked until I cry.

Both scenes that we did entirely played out my fantasies. (How often does anyone get to say that?) I was put over Daddy’s lap, as he sat on the side of the bed, with one of his legs over both of mine, and spanked and spanked up through the place where the pain was too much – and out the other side, to release and tears that were far more about joy than pain.

After each spanking, when my Daddy then held me close while I finished my cry, we found ourselves in this place of tenderness and contentment that was so potent it was better than any drug. The love we felt for each other was so intense, it was like we were in a bubble of warmth and connection and safety and bliss.

I’ve had good sex before. I’ve had great sex. This was light-years beyond it. If the release I had was an orgasm, it was a purely mental one.

Now, I’m not saying I’m off sex or anything. I love sex, and that’s not going to stop. I think it’s more about my Master and I just being in the same place, and the alignment of our wants and needs is what is making this so brilliant. I’m aware that I’m very lucky to experience this, because some people will never taste this in their whole lives. But I don’t think it’s about me – I think it’s what spanking can bring about. That the communication required to do consensual spanking (with the power exchange and SM and emotional exploration it entails) can bring a couple into such similar places that they are more able, and more likely, to experience it.

I’m not saying things will always be this perfect for us. We are like planets going in our own orbits around the sun. But I hope in the hard times I can remember back to these moments when we have been perfectly aligned.

To end on a less soppy note, after the first of these two spankings, the next day my bottom hurt, but I thought I’d just been sitting without moving enough for too long, and took myself off to the gym. But at the gym, after walking there and stretching, my rear still ached. “Why is it still sore?” I wondered, without the least clue.

It wasn’t until after I’d worked out with my tender botty that I suddenly realized, “Oh, you fool, you had a first-rate spanking last night! Duh!”

The ache the next day after the second one therefore didn’t take me by surprise – I just enjoyed the lovely sense-memory that had been tenderized into my fundament.