Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘discipline’ Category

I’m crazy busy this week, but wanted to steal a moment to write about Sunday’s scene. (Which means: enjoy this post – it might be the only one you get from me this week!)

Mr Defeu and I mostly did normal vanilla couple stuff this weekend (errands, going out to brunch, him rebuilding my hard-drive on my lap-top while I cleaned the kitchen, snuggling whilst we watched an Inspector Morse – that sort of thing!) but as Sunday afternoon started to become Sunday evening, he said, “Well, girl, I think you need a spanking.”

I pretended that I thought that wasn’t such a great idea.

Eventually, he grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bedroom. I wasn’t really fighting or protesting or anything, just trying to hold myself in check from actually running into the room first, bending over the bed, and wiggling my ass invitingly at him.

He got comfortable on the bed, and it was suggested that I go find an outfit that would please him.

Off I went on my little mission (which I didn’t really have any choice about choosing to accept!) and came back in a grey striped shirt under grey sweater-vest, grey pleated skirt, white knee socks … and navy blue gym knickers. (We don’t seem to have any grey ones! How did we get in this strait?! Something must be done about this!)

Mr Defeu liked the outfit. He let me know this with both verbal and, erm, vascular compliments. He sat up on the bed, pulled me towards him, and let his hands run over me. I closed my eyes and let the rush of arousal overwhelm me. He has always had this effect on me – just the merest hint that we might do something kinky can get my body started up with physical responses that are well outside my control. (It amazes me, sometimes, if he growls something at me in that gruff sexy way, or even just looks at me a certain way, I can observe the immediate effects on my body. Even if I think I’m not so in the mood as all that, my body will instantly belie that!) Anyway, so there we were: him enjoying things from his toppy point of view, me feeling high as a kite on anticipation and submissive head-space.

He started by pulling me over his lap for a seriously hard spanking – if this was a “warm up,” then I was the Queen of England! – which is of course how we both like it best.
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I haven’t written about the dynamics about domination and submission for a long time on this blog. The reason being that Mr Defeu and I had needed to stop being 24/7 Master and slave when we went through some relationship issues a couple years ago. It was the most healthy decision we could make at the time, but it deeply hurt both of us to have to do it. We both want to get back to the correct balance of power (for us) as soon as we can — but we have to be careful to build up to it carefully and correctly (which we patently didn’t do the first time around!).

This past weekend, we took a step closer to that strongly-desired goal.

It was Sunday morning, and I woke up feeling generally upset. Well, specifically upset, on a him-and-me issue. I was supposed to join Mr Defeu in bed (due to insomnia issues, I’ve been sleeping in the loft bed in another room) as I do most weekend mornings (I miss sleeping with him, so I like to get in snuggles when we go to bed, and snuggles when we get up, which are the high points of sleeping with someone, anyway!). I joined him, but he could tell I was upset, and he held me while I composed my thoughts. I started telling him about them, and he suddenly stopped me.

“I want to try something,” he said, “I want to cane you, and have sex, before we have this discussion.”

Well, that stopped me dead in my tracks — I was not expecting that! Mr Defeu explained that he thought our discussion of the issues would go better after we had emotionally and physically connected.

Now, I was really not in the mood for sex, and really not in the mood for pain. If this had been earlier in my life, I would have flat-out said no. But I thought about what Mr Defeu had suggested, and it actually made a good deal of sense. We would be more in tune with each other after that, and thus more able to make it through the discussion in an entirely beneficial manner. It would undoubtedly work on all sorts of psychological levels for both of us. It was absolutely the right thing to do.

“But!” part of me whined, “I’m not in the mooooood! I don’t wanna!”
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After yesterday’s post of Irelynn and me, I wanted to share two more images from that fun and sexy video.

I love these shots from Northern Spanking Institute because they remind me of the best sort of shots from Janus magazine.

The mindset of the coach character I am playing in this video would have been really humiliated to be punished in front of her student. To have her gym shorts pulled down and be spanked and caned just like the guilty schoolgirl would be the worst sort of punishment! I love the psychological aspect of the video. It could have just been a silly video, but we turned it into something more, something really hot!

Well, I asked my Twitter friends what to blog about today, and the only one to suggest anything was Lucy from Northern Spanking Institute. However, I’m not going to do either of her suggestions (fashion, or David Bowie!) today (although I will certainly cover those topics another day), because she reminded me that a new set of Irylnn Logeen and myself (and of course, the evil Stephen Lewis!) have gone up on NSI!

This fits perfectly in the Halloween spirit of things, because in this film I am playing a track coach, which is a true costume for me (I’m no good at running, and did my best to skip PE classes when I was in school!) So enjoy me in my gym shorts and whistle (and enjoy my acting — I had a great time getting in character for this!) because you won’t see that in real life! (Also, Irelynn is deeply enjoyable to look at in regulation gym knickers. Yum!)

Mr Defeu has many evil, evil tawses, but there is one stiff leather strap that I am always delighted to see him get out of the toy drawer. It looks about as imposing as any other piece of leather in his collection, but for some reason, this strap can’t hit me wrong — there’s not a time I don’t get some enjoyment from it. It ranges from “Ohhh, that’s a nice tease — please hit me harder!” to “Please keep that up — if you do, I’ll orgasm from this!” to “This is just a bit over the edge of what I can take, but it’s just that perfect amount over the edge! Do it again!”

There are some implements that from the first swat I loathe, despise, and outright hate. But this one turns me into an eager masochist, wriggling her bottom in eager anticipation. The implements which only hurt are perfect to use for tools of actual punishment. (Thus, the wooden paddle we have which is used for just that purpose, and which I do wish would just magically disappear, never to be seen again.) But this strap has come to be known as the “reward strap”. It’s just that good.

A couple weeks ago we were on a trip together. I often do his packing for him (a service I very much enjoy) and had used this opportunity to slip in that beloved strap and a bottle of lube — just in case, you know. It’s always good to be prepared for anything, right?! It was a busy, chaotic trip, but finally, on the last day, we had time alone together, and nothing else to do for a nice long evening stretching out ahead of us….
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