Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

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Jezebel.com’s article Students Protest School Dress Code With “Slutty Wednesday” caught my eye today, as it probably did for any of us spankos who love the schoolgirl uniform.

For me, it immediately brings to mind an infamous Lupus Spanking shoot, where they get ten schoolgirls lined up for heavy corporal punishment…

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Last week, Leia-Ann Woods wrote about a strange phenomenon that exists in our little corner of the kinky world (it no doubt infests many other places, too). The issue is the strange morphing of the idea of supporting everyone’s kinks and fetishes (which is a splendid one, as long as the kinks and fetishes are involve consent of all involved) into a sort of pressure to actively like and enjoy anyone’s kink, no matter what it might be. Call me cynical, but I suspect there’s an unstated hope that not only should one like and enjoy that kink, but one should eagerly rush to participate in it with the person who mentioned it.

Written down like that, the whole idea looks obviously silly; we’re well used to the description of Voltaire’s views: “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”, and its easy to apply that the world of kink. For example, I fully support your right to engage in Roman Showers, but please, please, please don’t start spewing anywhere I can see, hear or smell your happy ralphing games!

We even used to have an acronym for this: YKIOK! (Your Kink Is OK… with an implicit “but not my kink” tagged on the end). We can also simultaneously defend the rights of neo-Nazis and raving communists to spout their opinions, while personally preferring to listen to Rick Astley‘s Greatest Hits — on the basis that the Mr. Astley’s songs contain more useful social commentary than that of the others I mentioned…!

In essence, tolerance is not the same as taste, acceptance is not approval, enlightenment is not engagement.

All of which is fine and lovely, but Leia-Ann said it perfectly well, so why do I repeat her musings here? (And indeed, she expands more on the topic, covering the individual’s right to change, too).

Well, there’s a not unrelated piece of social politics that I’ve noticed popping up in the past few weeks. An account of our friend Maggie Mayhem‘s recent involvement in a new scene event managed some mild innuendo about Maggie and her partner Ned’s supposedly questionable ethics while demonstrating all the fun you can have with liquid nitrogen, but reserved the bulk of the author’s disapproval for the selection of artwork on display. The issue? That despite the venue being self-identified as “sex positive”, only fractionally more than one picture in ten was “female gaze” — which is, in this context, apparently a euphemism for “of men“; we’ll quietly ignore that this usage neatly glosses over the idea that a women might actually like looking at a picture of another woman, because that’s just a flea on the back of this dog of a problem. The furor continued with the shocking revelation that none of the artwork featured obviously transgendered models!

It’s not clear quite what ratios would have been considered acceptable. Perhaps the ratio should have matched the national average, which would have meant that 50.9% should have been “female gave”, or perhaps that 50.9% should have been of women? Maybe we shouldn’t be parochial, and should use the global average? Let’s be extremely generous and assume that 1% of the population is transgendered, and the male/female ratio is even (which it isn’t), so that means that 0.5% of should be of M-to-F transgendered folk, while the another 0.5% should be of F-to-M people. But wait, there’s more: out of each group, surely we have to balance the dom/sub imagery; let’s arbitrarily assume an equal balance, and that gives us a figure that 0.25% of the art should be of dominant female-identified trans people.

Oh, hang on: what about race? That soon takes us to a requirement that 0.001% of the artwork, or one picture in every one hundred thousand, should be of a native Pacific Islander M-to-F dominant! Phew! Sorted! Ah, wait a moment: that covers art of people, but not by them. But no matter: with an insane amount of effort, we can probably ensure that our picture of a Pacific Islander M-to-F domme was created by a Australian aboriginal lesbian sub, and cover those bases in that way. Of course, since even the Louvre in Paris only has 35,000 pieces of art, finding somewhere to display all those gloriously inclusive pictures may prove to be a bit of a challenge…

Now, heaven knows inclusivity is a great thing, and is to be encouraged. But so is art. The moment one lets political or social goals, however well intentioned, control what art is acceptable or not, one inevitably sacrifices quality to the quota. It just doesn’t work.

And more importantly, it cannot work. Art won’t, and shouldn’t, say the same thing to everyone; and part of the price of having something inspire you is that it may well leave someone else cold, or even repulse them. And even art which is generally considered “good” may be less-than-perfectly-suited to a wall in a “sex positive” space; for example, a print of John Sargent’s “Gassed” may put a bit of a damper on the mood!

Which brings us back to Leia-Ann’s core point: just as with taste in art, sexuality is individual and personal. It has to be absolutely OK for us to both like and not like things. And when someone starts trying to impose their taste, their opinions, their politics on our individuality — even in the name of inclusiveness — they become the oppressor, the tyrant, dictating what should be.

While on the subject of not liking things, there’s also been trend of conflating not liking with hating. In the spirit of such partisan mantras as “if you’re not with us, you’re against us”, the idea that someone might not actually want to see (e.g.) M/M spanking is equated with homophobia. Unquestionably, homophobes do exist, and it is undoubtedly a factor in the acceptance or otherwise of such material, but personal preference is an entirely different, and possibly more significant, factor. Those who rail against the lack of a particular type of material in porn strike me as like campaigning against the lack of vegan menu options at a steakhouse. If the market can support a holistic, fair-trade macro-biotic eating house (or whatever), then someone will go ahead and start one, or the steakhouse may decide to branch out and offer foodstuffs that didn’t once go “moo!” But if it the customer base isn’t there, then you don’t get to insist that the steakhouse must offer nut cutlets or Tofurkey just because you want to eat those dishes; your preferred dining choices don’t automatically preempt the steakhouse’s market-driven business decisions.

In reality, while those mutterings about the ratios of types of art were probably well intentioned, it’s a fundamentally misguided challenge to a symptom, and does nothing for the cause. The “problem” isn’t that a particular sex-positive space has “the wrong sort of art”, but that there are not enough such spaces. And the solution is rather simple: instead of complaining about the deficiencies of other people’s actions, DO something. Start a Filipino-Transgender-Dominant co-operative; open a Wahhabi-male-submissive space, make art featuring African women in chains (that wouldn’t be controversial, would it?).

And then put whatever you want on your walls.

Last night Mr Defeu and I watched Time Shift: Series 10: Crime and Punishment – The Story of Corporal Punishment.

I have to say, it was really, really surreal to see CP images just playing on the television, not in a porn DVD, but as part of a show made for general viewing.

Here is the description (which is clearly made for people who are coming to the programme opposing CP…)

Timeshift lifts the veil on the taboo that is corporal punishment. What it reveals is a fascinating history spanning religion, the justice system, sex and education. Today it is a subject that is almost impossible to discuss in public, but it’s not that long since corporal punishment was a routine part of life. Surprising and enlightening, the programme invites us to leave our preconceptions at the door so that we may better understand how corporal punishment came to be so important for so long.

I’m still trying to fully sum up to myself what I thought of the show. It was one of those eye-opening reminders that the rest of the world does not live in my happy CP bubble, and that corporal punishment apologists are not seen with much sympathy out there in the cold, cruel, spanking-free world.

And of course, there is whole matter of how people who were against CP pointed out that it could be eroticised, and it was used in porn – which was seen as suitable condemnation, no further discussion needed…..

Since I was watching the programme with Mr Defeu, that means I was watching it with someone who had actually experienced CP at school, which meant I got to ask him questions about his own experiences, to supplement the programme … which improved it greatly, and made it a good deal more relevant. I’m hoping that he will have the time to post some of his own thoughts here.

Obviously, this was a discussion of real-life CP, not This Thing We Do. And of course, to get in the discussion of whether it’s okay to have CP in the real world, not just in consensual bedroom games, is well beyond what I intend to write about here (because I’ve had enough drama on my blog recently, thank you, and I find it really upsetting to dread checking my own blog’s comments, because yet another upsetting can of worms has been opened).

So I can’t really, I guess, blame the show for avoiding the intersection of CP in the real world, and the world of consensual adult CP. I suppose it was quite brave of them to make the show in the first place, although of course if you want to get good ratings, you can’t do enough programmes like this. Because, no matter what people have to say about CP, so many are fascinated by it.

And that actually says a lot about it all, to me! People find a reason to watch shows like this, no matter what they otherwise think about CP. And a desire to watch “real” CP clips from the past is certainly no “better” (for whatever value of “better” you want to use there) then watching consenting adults who are getting paid to take their whacks.

Watch Time Shift: Series 10: Crime and Punishment – The Story of Corporal Punishment via BBC iPlayer Online

This time every year, I take a short break from full-on spanking posts to write about the Dr Who Convention Gallifrey One. Last year this was somewhat more relevant, because I was dressed in schoolgirl uniform. This year I have no such excuse, but I don’t care. You get spanking- and kink-related stuff all the other days of the year! Besides, I am happy to think that I have a high number of fans who are also Dr Who fans — this obviously means I am doing something right!

I’ll get me in my costume from this year up tomorrow. Until then, I’m going to take a moment for another sort of geekery.

I was delighted beyond words (for at least a few moments, before words obviously returned to me, in no way negating my delight!) to see my current search engine results:

For those who aren’t sure what I’m actually happy about, it’s that my site has been ranked as real and important enough to have various pages from within the site listed on the Google page, making a nice big, professional listing! (And the fact that my site takes up the top four slots doesn’t hurt either, but that’s easier to make happen.)

Now, this is in part due my efforts in doing good “search engine optimization” (otherwise known as “SEO”), but mostly, it’s the way Google is doing their algorithms at the moment, and unless I put in lots of effort (something to which I sadly do not have the time to devote), I will probably loose this lovely listing. (Especially because this is, well, an adult site! Google is reasonably fair, mostly, but still, they do prefer non-adult sites!) Thus my screen-cap, to celebrate and commemorate this moment that only a geek can really be inspired to do a happy dance about. (Yes, I have done my happy dance. I even “squeed” in my lost-for-words moment!)

And while I had the search engine up, I found a couple links that also made me happy!

I found a review for Bottoms Up that focusses fabulously on my story in the anthology:

As good as it is kinky, Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories will propel you to pick up a paddle and share in both pleasure and pain, or perhaps to simply turn the other cheek. In “The Hardest Part,” Alison Tyler perfectly captures a sub in thrall to a man who knows the power of anticipation. A “Sorority Sister” bends over to please her big sister during rush season in Dominique Dunbar’s naughty tale. Zille Defeu’s “Reenactment” shows how some girls like it rough (and repeatedly). For those who have an endless capacity to bare their ass in preparation for a sound smacking–or deliver the deliciously ecstatic pain to a lover–this torrid tour de force is essential reading.

And teen-spankings.com says of my first video on Northern Spanking Institute:

What’s more, it’s a little naughty as you’ll see as Both Irelynn and Stephen look round a house for sale, shown by an unsuspecting Ms Zille Defeu (estate agent extraordinaire), only for them to put her nose out of joint and romp around the house with a riding crop and slipper as they christen the place – Spanking Couple Pervert Alert!

Yay! I’m an “estate agent extraordinaire!” Of course, the couple in question have never gotten back to me about the property, so I have to assume they just used me to get into the house and get up to their filthy perversions — whilst subjecting my poor innocent self to them!

Okay, more geekiness tomorrow, plus pictures!

Last week, an exclusive interview (and particularly fun one!) with me was published over at the
Cherry Red Report: Exclusive Interview: Zille Defeu on Double Rainbows, Zombies, Hairbrushes, Garden Gnomes, Lady Ga-Ga, Spanko Fiction, and More.

I was so excited about it (still am!) but then my week went crazy with things I had to get done — as well as our first punishment which renewed our disciplinary relationship (Apunishment accomplished), and then my husband, Mr Defeu, started actually writing for this blog (Punished, and then…), so his posts took precedence because it’s all shiny and new for him (and I’m so glad to have him getting involved in this blog that is a huge part of my life), and then the weekend was full of the local spanking munch and spankings at home.

So it is just now that I am stealing a moment to squeee with delight over the most fun interview I’ve ever done, and how lovely Dave over at Cherry Red Report has been, making me feel so welcome and valued. (And it could not have been a better time, what with me coming in second in the New Spankee of the Year Award. At least Brushstrokes had some nice things to say about me. Oh, also, I accept consolation in the form of chocolates and compliments. My Amazon wishlist is here, for any inspired to send consolation prizes! )

(Image above left, pouting, because I didn’t win, from NSI.)

Anyway, getting back to the happy bit, here are a few of my favourite questions with my responses, but do head over to the Cherry Red Report to read the whole thing!

We here at CRR are thrilled to present an exclusive interview with Zille Defeu, who is an absolutely fab fetish model, spanking star, top-notch photographer, sizzling writer, spanko blogger, super cool person, self-described “raging pervert” and so much more yummy goodness. *swoon* [...]
Thank you Zille for taking the time to chat with The Cherry Red Report. In your opinion, what is the best way to kill a zombie?

When you see the zombie coming at you, you take a special poison that attacks and stores itself in your braaaainzzzzz. Then, after the zombie kills you and eats your braaaainzzzzz, it will be poisoned by the “baited” meat. This, as far as I know from my extensive research, is the most reliable way to make sure the zombie dies. It involves self-sacrifice, sure, but when the zombie apocalypse comes, such things will be asked of us all.

I keep my poison in a special false tooth just for this purpose. It is my “final friend” because I should be well-past consciousness (although still alive enough to keep the zombie’s interest) when the zombie gets to me, so I won’t feel a thing as it rips me apart!

Do you think all hairbrushes should gathered and destroyed?

To be honest, I’ve only had one hairbrush ever used on me! And it was in a custom video (so no one will ever see it, bwahahaha!) for a guy who didn’t want the spanking to be “too hard” – so thus far, to my experience, hair brushes are lovely multipurpose things, with a bad rap!

Although I hate-hate-hate the paddle, so I do wonder if I will also come to hate the hairbrush just as much!

On the other hand, I have come to value things that can be really intense and make me cry, without leaving marks. (Having to not be marked is the one downside to modeling!) So if the hairbrush could yield such results, I might become quite a fan of it.
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