Archive for the ‘paddle’ Category
CP as real-life motivator
March 19th, 2009 | Author: Zille
I was wandering around FetLife yesterday when I ran across the most incredible real-life CP story I’ve ever read. This is pretty much the perfect plot to a Janus Magazine story — it is the perfect example of honest-to-goodness CP being used the way disciplinarians prefer best, but which happens all too infrequently in the world these uncivilized days. I just had to share it with you lot, and so I asked the brave and (since fortune favours the brave) fortunate lady if I could repost her wonderful and inspiring tale over here. She has kindly said I could, so, with no further ado, here is “Exercise and Spanking” by “NaughtyNan”….
I have a personal trainer, who comes to my house for the workouts. Although I’d initially been one of his “success stories,” losing 42 pounds in about 6 months, over the past year I not only didn’t continue to lose weight, but rather I gained about 10 pounds BACK, plus lost some of my motivation for working out. It really bothered my trainer that I’d slipped; he felt responsible for it.
So he’d been thinking hard about how to re-motivate me, and he decided to propose a scheme of rewards and punishments. I’d be expected to send him a daily email, listing my caloric intake, any exercise, sleep hours, time I’d gone to bed, energy levels, etc. He expected me to also work out with a good attitude each and every time, and not be lazy or spend excess time chatting (which IS what I do sometimes to waste exercise time, I must admit) instead of really settling down to exercise. Initially he’d told me that I ought to think of some sort of reward, to be given after about a month of compliance. And initially he was thinking that the punishment would be that he’d make me do the exercises that I really hated.
The conflict was internal. I loved the idea at once, of course; it’s a sound idea, plus the novelty of it was sure to help me. (I have ADHD, and I respond well to novelty and variety.) But from the very first couple of emails that he sent me, my emotions got totally roiled up, and I had trouble composing those daily emails. I recognized, you see, that what I was entering into was a sort of Top-bottom/Dominant-submissive contract, and that I was agreeing to submit to his control. I was really surprised by how it aroused my emotions, and how hard it was to actually SUBMIT.
Now I have to add that in NO WAY do I want my relationship with my personal trainer to get romantic or sexual. From the beginning of our workouts I’d always enjoyed the exercises the most that were quasi-BDSM in how I ended up positioned, or in how painful they could get, or when he would interact with me in a commanding sort of way. These things all tickled my secret submissive heart, of course. (I am in a vanilla marriage, I should add.) So I enjoyed those aspects, without any thought of romance or eroticism. (He is a newlywed, in fact, and I attended his wedding. Nor is the type of guy to whom I am attracted—which was part of my intent in hiring him.) But of course when he told me to think of what I wanted as a reward—and he said to think BIG—my mind raced towards pleasant, good-girl spankings. But how could I tell him that? Of course I couldn’t, and would probably have to settle for a good back massage or something like that.
Well…somehow, about a week ago, a moment opened up in which I actually came OUT of the SPANKING closet! I’d always mentioned to him, whenever he asked if something was hurting, that I was fine, that in fact I rather liked pain. He’d always said that he does too. He and I have talked very openly about many topics, including the lack of intimacy in my marriage, and he’s told me similar details about his life with his ex-wife and his happy new life with his current bride. I’ve always felt a great deal of mutual trust and discretion, that we could share almost everything. But all my life, I have only ever told 1-2 people—actual people in my life, as opposed to all of you nice online anonymous community—about my spanko urges and my bondage desires and my submissive side.
He told me that he was very frustrated, that he felt he lacked some KEY to helping me get motivated. And I told him, yes, there was a key, and here is what it is…
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On the matter of safewords
February 27th, 2009 | Author: Zille
So, I’m being a wee bit naughty over in Fetlife. Of course, I blame kaya — she’s a bad influence on me! 
Basically, this person posted in one of the spanking groups asking if safewords should be allowed for “true punishment.”
Heh. Of course, I do not have a safeword at any time, and the very last place my Master would consider letting me have one is during punishment! I mean, how handy to hand a submissive a key to ending the punishment! “Yes, when you don’t like what’s going on anymore, just say ‘red,’ or ’safeword,’ or ‘banana,’ and I’ll stop punishing you and give you a cuddle!”
By the time I got around to reading the post, most people had commented saying that “safewords are essential! You should never play with anyone who doesn’t let you have a safeword ever or Bad Things Will Happen!”
At which point, the smart thing is to back away slowly and go about my day. Sometimes the smart thing is no fun, though!
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The difference between discipline & punishment
February 10th, 2009 | Author: Zille
The discussion from FetLife (Spanking for punishment, and the dubious superiority of DD over BDSM) still continues (that is, I’m still involved in it!) A fellow responded to the original post, saying,
For those of us who like it, spanking is a wonderful pastime at whatevever [sic] level of severity we willingly participate. Viewed dispassionately it is also a rather silly activity to be hooked on!
Enjoy it in your own way and for it’s own sake, as a thing you both need and crave.In meeting that need it may well make you a better person in so far as it makes you happier and what could be wrong with that?
Other than that, I would suggest that the only form of discipline likely to be of service in the wider world is that of the self motivated variety.
She didn’t entirely agree with that response:
There is a big difference between “discipline” and “punishment” to most people…..that is why I used the word PUNISHMENT.
And personally…..I think spanking can “discipline” a person too if that is where their mind/body allows it to be used to/for but that wasn’t the purpose of this dialogue. (but happy to respond to that issue too.)
If I was a person who ran late places and it was deemed a problem I couldn’t get under control and sought help to correct…..some horrible severe x amount (or some top/dom determined level) of a wicked device (not going to name which ones I think are wicked) would be at least something to test to see if it would be a good “behaviour modification” device….maybe, maybe not.
His response:
I have just consulted the dictionary and the “big difference between discipline and punishment” is obviously as opaque to the compilers as it is to me!Not that it matters greatly as I find semantic battles are usually an exercise in futility.
What it boils down to I guess, is what are you seeking to achieve by punishment, behaviour modification, discipline, correction or any of the other words that can be found side by side in the dictionary.Could be I am missing something on that score.
So, I had to get in my own thoughts on the matter: Read the rest of this entry »
Spanking for punishment, and the dubious superiority of DD over BDSM
February 6th, 2009 | Author: Zille
I think I’m going to take a page from kaya’s book and use FetLife conversations to A.) fill in for a proper blog post [sticks out tongue at kaya] and B.) get some conversation happening. Although my topic is not going to be so controversial as kaya’s is. Man, that gal knows how to find all the heated debates and then say the most un-P.C. things. It’s a serious skill! 
So, anyway, recently on FetLife, in the group, “A Sound Spanking,” this question was posted:
spanked for punishment…why can’t doms see that…
….this is and can still be an effective way to chastise?
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Picture: punished by paddle and cane
January 20th, 2009 | Author: Zille
Okay, here it is the picture you’ve been waiting for … sorry it’s so grainy … the flash blew out the marks, but it wasn’t light enough in the room for a good exposure on the little camera we were using (as my Master was wanting to go sit on the sofa and watch me cook dinner, not do a complex photo shoot. I guess we are just going to have to keep lighting equiptment in our bedroom at all times!)
If you missed it, the write-up of the punishment is here.
What annoys me is how mild it looks in that image! The problem is that both the paddle and the heavy nylon cane are very heavy, thuddy instruments, and so the bruising (and pain!) is deep in the muscle. I find this frustrating, because blast it, if I’m going to suffer that much, I deserve some pretty kick-ass (errr, literally!) marks decorating my brave bottom.
But no, even though it still hurts if I plunk myself into a chair instead of easing myself gently down, no, I just have some dark yellow markings that do not do justice to the experience one little bit! Phooey!
