Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘paddle’ Category

I think I’m going to take a page from kaya’s book and use FetLife conversations to A.) fill in for a proper blog post [sticks out tongue at kaya] and B.) get some conversation happening. Although my topic is not going to be so controversial as kaya’s is. Man, that gal knows how to find all the heated debates and then say the most un-P.C. things. It’s a serious skill!

The Face of Punishment (from Girl’s Boarding School)

So, anyway, recently on FetLife, in the group, “A Sound Spanking,” this question was posted:

spanked for punishment…why can’t doms see that…
….this is and can still be an effective way to chastise?
Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, here it is the picture you’ve been waiting for … sorry it’s so grainy … the flash blew out the marks, but it wasn’t light enough in the room for a good exposure on the little camera we were using (as my Master was wanting to go sit on the sofa and watch me cook dinner, not do a complex photo shoot. I guess we are just going to have to keep lighting equiptment in our bedroom at all times!)

If you missed it, the write-up of the punishment is here.

What annoys me is how mild it looks in that image! The problem is that both the paddle and the heavy nylon cane are very heavy, thuddy instruments, and so the bruising (and pain!) is deep in the muscle. I find this frustrating, because blast it, if I’m going to suffer that much, I deserve some pretty kick-ass (errr, literally!) marks decorating my brave bottom.

But no, even though it still hurts if I plunk myself into a chair instead of easing myself gently down, no, I just have some dark yellow markings that do not do justice to the experience one little bit! Phooey!

Last night I finally got what was coming to me.

I had really not wanted another weekend to go by without my punishment (the story of how I earned my punishment here) actually being done and out of the way. It was hanging over me, and I was going a bit crazy from that. But of course last weekend I had my period (and I don’t know if my Master was being kind, or just avoiding any over-emotional ramifications) and then he was super-busy all week with work stuff, coming home late and exhausted. And you can’t just say, “Well, look, I know you’re tired and all, but I need to be punished now, so get over here and beat my bum!” Heh, well, you could say it, and if you do please tell me your results, but I’m not stupid enough to try it!

Anyway, yesterday started with a lazy weekend morning (poached eggs and toast and tea and lazing on the sofa with laptops and books) and then we had a gazillion errands to run, and got back home around 5:30. We were supposed to meet some friends at the dungeon later, and I was anxious, hoping that the punishment could be done before we went, so that if we did a scene there, it would be post-punishment and relaxed and happy.

I got permission to go do my bath/shaving, and we had run out of hot water, so it was a very thankless affair. Afterwards, I begged to lie down in bed for a bit, to warm up, and he joined me, snuggling me and warming my body with his own – which is very effective; he gives off such lovely heat! – and it was very comfy, and we could have just slipped off into a nap. But I really didn’t want a nap right then!

We have this thing where we indicate “I am thinking it’d be nice for something sexy to happen now” by body language and looks. Neither of us almost ever has to announce things with words (although I do love when he orders me gruffly into the bedroom!); it’s all a matter of pressing up against each other in certain ways, or touches becoming longer and more caress-like, or our eyes meeting and understanding being exchanged by seeing the fire in the other person’s eyes and letting a reciprocal fire flare up in your own.

Anyway, I was sending off signals as hard as I could (although a person who didn’t know us would probably not have noticed any change at all, I don’t think) and he of course noticed and laughed and told me I was a slutty girl. I asked if that sort of thing was on the menu, or if he was feeling sleepy and wanted a nap. Well, he allowed, maybe some sex could happen. At which point my frustration bubbled up in me and I said, “Oh, please, can’t we get this punishment over with?! Everything we do is overshadowed by it for me, and it’s driving me mad!”

He didn’t seem to mind me speaking up. He pulled me around to face him in our cuddle, my head resting on his chest, and my hand pushed down to take up its duty on his cock, which had somehow become a statue carved out of adamantine….

He informed me that as I had three black marks in the punishment book, my punishment would be tripartite: two sets of ten from the paddle, and because the last infraction was not too grievous, a final set from the cane. Well, I’d been feeling kind of horny up until that point, but faced with twenty from the paddle, that ended right quick!

He had me go put on white spandex punishment shorts (which not only do not provide the least amount of protection, but I think may actually make it worse!) and then stand in the middle of the room, with my hands on my knees (which I do realize was kind of him, not making me grab my ankles, but I really didn’t appreciate it in the moment!)

I took the first thwack okay, although it had enough force to rock me on my legs. Okay, I told myself, the first is just horrible because you’ve forgotten what the paddle feels like – now that’s over and you can just grit your teeth and take the next nine. Whack, the second slammed into my ass, and then, like a wall crumbling, all semblance of self-control just fell to pieces, and I started crying. By the third hit, he had his hand on me to hold me in place, and I don’t know what number it was when he gave up and ordered me to lie over the side of the bed, because I was in too much misery to care.

Unfortunately, as much better as it was to be laid over the side of the bed, for some reason that changed the angle of his attack, and now, instead of getting both cheeks thwacked with equal force, now my right cheek was getting the brunt of it, and I was right on the edge of getting out of position and trying to high-tail it out of there! But I held on, somehow, although when the first ten ended (and how was all that agony only ten whacks from the paddle, how?!) I did say, while grabbing my right cheek with my hands somewhat hysterically, “Ahhh! They’re all landing on this one!” which was about as coherent as I could get at the time, and thank the gods he understood that I was just trying to let him know what was going on, not criticizing or complaining.

Very kindly, he switched to the other side for the next ten, and really, it was much appreciated that he didn’t ask “Are you ready?” because I don’t know if I could have squeezed out a, “Yes, Sir” at all! He had kindly agreed beforehand that I could have my penis gag (which has become kind of a pacifier for me in scenes, and brings my volume down considerably, which I think the neighbors appreciate!) for the second ten, but as he was fastening the buckles at the back of my head, I can’t say it brought me any real comfort.

And, as the second set progressed, it was actually not helpful in another way, because it fits down under my chin, and thus caught all the saliva that came pouring out of my mouth as I made incoherent cries of agony, and also it comes up to right under my nose, so the mucus that started pouring down as I cried also got caught up in the big mess my face had become. There was no grace under fire, no dignity left to me. Well, except that I didn’t break position: my feet danced, my back arched up a few times, but I never left my spot. (Honestly, I find it best if you just don’t even consider it an option!)

He let me calm down for a moment before the final set from the cane. I felt much more confident about those, because by now I’m an experienced caneé, and can take my licks with dignity and self-control. Well, not that day! He went for the heavy nylon cane Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve had too much happening too fast over the holidays to get caught up, but now things have slowed down a wee bit, so I will try….

This post is called “My first punishment of the new year,” but it really starts with the last scene of the old year, because I never got to write about that before the Christmas chaos took everything over.

It was the day before my Master and I were going to my parent’s house for the holidays. I had hoped we would play, because not only would finding the time for play while we were there be improbable, there was also the fact that having kinky sex with your parents downstairs is not really an optimal situation. I did it when I lived at home, because otherwise kinky (or any other) sex wasn’t going to happen at all – but I didn’t particularly relish the concerns with getting caught, or just the fact that my parents were in the same building at the time. I much prefer having sex or any kinky play when they are on the other side of the country….

Unfortunately, the day dawned with me feeling pretty sick. I decided not to mention the matter, because if my Master knows that I am sick, he goes into Daddy-caring-for-poor-little-girl mode, which is lovely but does not lead to hot sex.

We went through the day, me finishing the packing and doing last minute things. I don’t even remember how we got into the bedroom, with a scene about to happen, but I do remember telling my sickness to go away, this was not the time for it, as I got into a pair of punishment shorts.

My Master had requested my bad girl side, but he got more than he asked for, because it seems I’d had a lot of bottled up frustration and anger inside me. I can keep it shoved down when I’m being a good girl, but when I’m allowed to be a bad girl, there doesn’t seem much point in stoically suppressing my emotions, when I could have a good tantrum.

And thus I did! Damn, but I was horrible! I think my Master was secretly a little delighted with it all, because I’m always such a good girl, but the bad girls are the ones who get spanking stories written about them! Anyway, he gave as good as he got – my ass was as weal-ed and bruised as it has ever been. I got into that headspace where I could just keep taking it and taking it, no matter how painful the cane or tawse strokes were – and I just kept talking back to him, daring him to beat me harder with every word and look. He wanted to get me to submit to him, by kissing the tawse he was beating me with, but I was feeling so naughty and wilful that at one point, when he held it out for a kiss after a dozen or so hard strokes, I actually bit it! That tawse may still have my teeth marks in it!

In the end he had to stop to avoid damaging me, and I was grimly satisfied that I hadn’t cried, “Uncle!” (Although since I literally couldn’t sit down for the rest of the night, one can barely say that I “won!”)

After that, I could finally be fucked! And, wonderfully, he took me in the ass! I honestly don’t remember if it hurt or not – I was pretty high on endorphins by that time. A cool thing was that he had me lie on my back, bum at the edge of the bed and legs bent back against me, and took me in the ass that way, which I think was the first time for that position. We had been looking at pictures from the hardcore schoolgirl shoot together, and it was not actually the pictures from the shoot, but the background image in the gallery that had really got us both going! I was so turned on that I’m sure I was making faces like the girl on that page!

All of which is to say that it was a very intense scene! But what was of most interest to us both was that I could and did take a lot of pain whilst not feeling over-well. I told him after the scene that I had been feeling poorly before-hand, and we were both quite pleased that we may not have to put off scenes just because I have a headache or a tummy ache in the future. Since those are some of the main reasons we don’t get to play as often as we’d like, this is very good news!

And I think I am going to be punished a lot this year. Read the rest of this entry »

There’s a few unrelated things I’m tossing together in this post…

First, an amusing quote from Abel & Haron:

I love that there was a statue with such specialised miracle powers. ‘The statue is not amused! Thrash them harder!’

Next, an amusing bit of Lolkat-ese from kaya:

Domming. He’s doing it wrong!

Finally, here’s some pictures from Friday night. My Master and I went out to a combination art show and bondage performance. I’m sitting in the background in a number of these pictures, and in all of them, I manage not to be looking at the performance (and I look bored out of my mind, as well!) Really, it was a lovely and unique performance (the rigger suspended the model — and they were BOTH wearing blindfolds!) and I had a great time seeing Lochai , Miss Maggie Mayhem, Thomas Roche, and a number of other cool friends — just perfect to see friends and have a little taste of the local kink scene before going home and dealing with family!

Oh! And since I’m actually posting on a Sunday (my Master is lost to the world, working on the new server he’s building), I get to join in with the My Bottom Smarts Spanko Brunch #153. The question today is:

Have you any special spanking-related plans or wishes for this holiday season? Are there any noteworthy gifts or events in your plans? If not, what would you like to be getting or doing?

Well, we will be stuck at my parent’s house for Christmas, so any spankings that occur will have to be done very quietly – and I’m not generally known for being quiet, so if he does spank me, he has to gruffly order me not to make any noise – and I have to beg to stuff my face in a pillow!

This year there are no directly-related spanking gifts – when we have those, we open them at home before we leave (and of course, try them out!)

One of the best I’ve ever given him was a Weighted Bookmark that has the words, “Regard the weight of words rather than their number” (Cicero) stamped in the leather. I figured it applied not just to words, but to spanks, as well! It’s a good, if nasty, little spanking tool, and very portable – yet is not obviously a spanking implement (except to spankos, who would never use it for anything else!)

But, happily, we will be home in time for New Years, and my perfect way to celebrate it would be for us to drink a lot of champagne (several bottles of our favorite brand have already been laid in!) and have sex and spankings all night long – how better to ring in the New Year?!