Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘r/l scenes’ Category

Well, this is supposed to be the third Shadowlane post – I know, I know! But the third post (mostly written) was overtaken by events – in this case, a whole bunch of work which had to be done, and then, what we in San Francisco refer to as “Leather Week” (the week that ends with the Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, filled with lectures, classes, parties, readings, munches, and other events) and of course, “The High Holy Day of Kink” itself.

You might say to yourself, “If Zille is as much out-of-the-dungeon-and-into-the-schoolroom as she claims, why does she keep going to these BDSM events?” It’s a fair question.
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The next day (more on the first day here) was Finishing School. I slept in as late as possible, and almost had the choice of skipping breakfast or being late. And Mrs. Darling would not approve of either of those things! (Mr. Defeu went down and ordered breakfast whilst I was still getting my stockings clipped onto my garter belt, so that once I was dressed I could rush down and scarf some food in a most unladylike hurry. And then do my lipstick in the elevator on the way up to the tenth floor … and a room to which I dreaded and longed to go!)

You may recall that Finishing School was pretty much one of the most exciting things I’ve done since, well, um, my whole life. When we found out that there would be a Finishing School at this Shadowlane, there was no doubt that we would be attending this year’s party! (After all, I flew to Scotland for the first one, so there was no way I could miss one so much closer to home!)

I arrived at the door to Northern Spanking’s suite, nervous as hell and quite sure that as soon as I walked in, all hell would indeed break loose, undoubtedly upon my ass. You see, as the only student who had attended the previous FS, I was “Head Girl”, even though I had only come in fourth in the class. Now I had attained dizzying heights … but because of how things work in that mini-universe, I knew it was my job to topple from them – and make it a good show on the way down!

I checked my skirt, that my shirt was tucked in neatly, and hoped to hell my seams were straight!

Mrs Darling was suitably nervous-making, with her comments about how I would receive double-punishments over my class-mates, but, as usual, Miss Hammond-Grant was utterly terrifying. She would wander over, whether I was doing anything remotely naughty or not (a few times when I was just thinking about what naughtiness I ought to get up to, next!) and would just get up into my personal space, and then stare down at me. It made one third of me desire to be nothing but well-behaved for the rest of my life, another third of me immediately start planning how best to get her to do that again, and the final third part of me really just wanted her to grab me by the ear and drag me into the next room. (What would we do there? Oh, well she would teach me not to get up to “unnatural acts” involving other young ladies through “Aversion therapy” [shudders deliciously] )
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(The results of Friday night at Shadowlane. See below for how those marks got there!)

For me, Shadowlane is about friends. It is also about spanking, but I’m afraid my account of the best spanking party in the U.S. is simply not going to be as exciting as some of the bottoms who spend the party going from lap to lap.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course – they are just in a different place from me. Some of them may not have spanking in their lives all the rest of the time, and this is their big weekend to play and get in experiences to keep them going for another dreary year. Or some are eager newbies, wanting to taste every experience, and taste it now. Or some other equally valid explanation. Whatever, if you want a scene report that is just the non-stop spankathon that can be one’s Shadowlane experience, go sort through other blog posts here.

A friend asked me what I was into (I was burbling excitedly to him about rope bondage at the time) and I think it bears a little explanation, since I’m always considering it and having new realisations, myself.
As many of you know, I started in the dungeon. I got into BDSM in college, having been handed Pat Califia’s Macho Sluts by a girl I really wanted to sleep with. (I did eventually sleep with her. And do kinky things with her. And make porn with her. We had a very useful friendship!) I joined the “Younger Generation” BDSM group, and spent my time learning the best sort of candles to use for wax play, how to properly coil rope for rope bondage, how to season a single-tail so it cracks best, and how to wrap someone in saran wrap and then make convenient slits and slide ice cubes in and make them scream and squirm. (Okay, that last bit came naturally!)

The dungeon is really a useful place. To this day, I can show you how best to set me on fire (very temporarily!) for the prettiness and adrenalin rush of it. But what it did not do was help me find my way to my “core kink”, as it were. I took classes on everything – it was sort of assumed you wanted to learn everything, from where to hit on someone’s bum, to how to get a fist up there as well! And I, caught up in the thrill of kinky excitement, just went along for the marvellous ride.

I think people were supposed to find their “thing” along the way. But, for many years, I just bounced around, trying everything at least once, “Jacqueline of all trades, mistress of none.”

A funny thing that came out of that is that, for the longest time, I just decided I was “not a masochist“. Pain turned out to hurt, you see, and without the drive of a core kink, it just really didn’t seem worth it. I had nothing to help me through the pain of a beating, so I just avoided them. The pains of rope bondage had a reward (the attention you get as you are tied and untied, the admiration you get for holding a hard bondage position, and usually pictures of yourself looking hot and sexy in the ropes.

I had decided that I only liked “thuddy” pain. (I think this was a way to get only nice safe floggers used on me, or some such.) Amusingly, a professional dominatrix friend then told me that if I didn’t like stingy pain, I wouldn’t ever enjoy a caning. And I have to seriously thank her for that! Because it meant that Mr Defeu was the first person to cane me. And being able to have that “cherry” for him to pop meant so terribly much to both of us!

Now that Mr Defeu has come up, it’s really time to leave the dungeon for the headmaster’s office. Because when he handed me a stack of Januses (Janii?) – in between the first time he spanked me and our first date! – that’s when my core kink came suddenly, completely into focus.
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Mr Defeu has made my day — and, heh heh, my year, by insisting I get dressed in a schoolgirl uniform today, and then having a hot, intense scene with me!

Once I had gotten dressed in a navy pinafore, blazer, white shirt, striped tie, and navy regulation knickers and navy over-the-knee socks, hair up in a high ponytail, Mr Defeu was ready for me, and he dragged me (pretending to be unwilling, as usual!) to the bedroom.

Once there, we just naturally fell into a really fun roleplay interaction in which he was trying to get me to admit that I needed some long-overdue discipline, and I was trying to legalistically argue my way out of what was coming to me. Now, since Mr Defeu is way, way better at the whole legalistic reasoning thing than me, I was guaranteed to argue my way into a corner — and into more trouble! There was no way that I could “win” — and that was a win in my view!

After we’d bandied words to our mutual delight for a while, he decided my talking back needing something done about it, So he grabbed a huge mean tawse and ordered me to grab my ankles. Whooops! I’d not intended to argue myself into that corner! I yelped loudly for all six burning thwacks!

Then he straightened me up and started again. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sudden intense pain, but I didn’t want to give up the fight too easily, so I sassed him a bit more. This led to him pulling over the punishment stool, bending me over it, and giving me a serious six from a cane.

Yeeeowch! This time when I lifted me back up (not letting me lower my skirt), I was feeling a good deal more contrite!

I admitted, finally, that I was well overdue some discipline. He gave me a hug while I composed myself … but I could tell that his main focus was looking at my regulation-knicker-clad-bottom in the mirror on the wall….

Finally he said, “Well, I think it’s time you got over my knee, girl,” and he pushed me over and started in for a long and very hard spanking. I was shocked at how much it hurt — this was not a spanking I mostly enjoyed, with a few sharp swats giving it piquancy. No, this was one where I honestly yelped, squirmed, and couldn’t catch my breath and get on top of the sensations.

And, to be honest, when it’s all said and done, those are really the spankings I like best. (But don’t tell anyone! Especially not Mr Defeu!)

There was going to be no orgasming from this spanking. I was more happy to make it out the other side alive!

After it was over, he then gravely informed me that it was time for a caning. (The first caning of course did not count, as I was not properly subdued and submitting at the time!) I took a deep breath and let him arrange me over the side of the bed, truly apprehensive.

It was an ordeal. A brilliant, wonderful, really hot ordeal, in retrospect , but at the time I was going through it, it was just waves of pain. I managed to take some strokes without a sound, which I was very proud of, but I think the other strokes, where I yipped and kicked and bounced probably lost me any points I’d gained.

Finally it was over (and the minute it is over, some really masochistic part of my brain says, “Oh! Is it really over already? Why can’t it go on?!” but I try very hard not to let that be in my “out-loud voice”!) and he was lubing his cock up, and then pulling the gusset of my knickers aside, to push himself inside me.

I’ve said before (and will say again) that this is my favourite sexual “position”: bent over something, fully dressed in uniform, with just the crotch of my panties pulled aside and my legs together modestly, being roughly taken from behind. I can enjoy the variety of other ways of doing sex … but this is the bestest of them all, and the one of which I can never get enough!

Some wondrous time later, he pulled out and made me finish him with my mouth, which just felt right and proper, after all my mouthing off….

And then, both sated and very pleased with life, we deeply enjoyed the post-scene snuggle.

Bruises, as you may remember from posts past, are not something either he nor I want. Well, at least not long term — but when a scene is over I hate when it hurt terribly and I suffered horribly — and then there’s not a mark to prove it all! However, I really would like those weals and bruises gone by the next day … because Mr Defeu prefers a “fresh canvas” to do his art upon — and I want whatever will inspire him to greater artistic heights!

Today our play was extremely painful intense, but the marks right after play really don’t prove that — much to my frustration! I’ve been yelping every time I sit down, but it really doesn’t look like he strapped, caned, spanked, and caned me again!

I just had the brainstorm of actually searching for some products which help fade bruises faster. (Beyond just the simple arnica cream, which I’ve really never noticed to do a darned thing.) I’ve found some promising creams to test!

Help fade away bruises – faster. Fast dramatic results! You don’t have to live with embarrassing, bruised and discolored skin any longer – thanks to Vita-K Solution. Vita-K Solution Super Vitamin K with Arnica For Bruises combines Arnica – used by surgeons and dermatologists to reduce post-operative bruising and swelling and Super Vita-K – patented and clinically tested to help fade away the appearance of bruises, discolored skin, and other unsightly skin conditions. These two exceptional ingredients, blended in a rich cream formula, penetrate deep into the skin and begin to work immediately to promote the healing process and help bring back natural skin tones. Enhanced with Arnica and Super Vita-K for fast results! Arnica helps promote the healing of skin tissue.

With Clinicians Complex Bruise Cream, you need not worry about bruises. Clinicians Complex Bruise Cream helps in removing scars and bruises and making the skin smooth and radiant. This particular cream contains potent ingredients like Arnica oil, Emu oil, vitamin and green tea extract that are known for their cleansing properties and do not have any side effect.

• Removes bruises
• Formulated with Arnica and Emu oils
• Has cleansing properties

Clinicians Complex Bruise Cream helps improve and even accelerate skin’s natural healing process.

Donell K-Derm Cream utilizes topical vitamin K to help heal bruises, purpura, spider veins and small broken capillaries. It is specially formulated to infuse deeply within the skin to boost the body’s healing processes.

• Specially formulated to infuse deeply for maximum results
• Effective against spider veins, rosacea and under-eye circles
• Topical vitamin K helps heal bruises and purpura
• Hydrates and moistens the skin

Of course, my current “go to” rub for the bottom is Bath & Body Works True Blue Spa “Too Shea” 100% Shea Butter. Shea butter aids cell regeneration and capillary circulation and it melts on contact and is readily absorbed into the skin. (It also feels very luxurious when you rub it in. That is not completely irrelevant!) It might not aid the removal of bruising the way Vitamin K seems to do, but I think it will help prevent “leather butt” for those who play frequently. And it has other things to recommend it, as this excerpt from National Geographic shows:

Shea butter is ideal for the topical application of cosmetic and medicinal formulas.

Healing Qualities

The healing qualities of Shea butter are due to the presence of several fatty acids and plant sterols, namely oleic, stearic, palmitic and linolenic acids. These oil-soluble components are nonsaponifiable, meaning they do not undergo saponification, or convert to soap, when introduced to an alkali. Shea butter possesses a significantly greater nonsaponifiable fraction than most other nut oils and fats, which lends the substance greater healing potential for the skin.

Anti-Inflammatory Properties

Shea butter contains several derivatives of cinnamic acid, a compound common to cinnamon and balsam trees. In the May 2010 issue of the “Journal of Oleo Science,” Toshihiro Akihisa and fellow researchers published the results of a study that investigated the effects of four triterpene acids and four triterpene cinnamates isolated from Shea butter on tissue swelling in mouse skin. The scientists reported that Shea butter not only demonstrated anti-inflammatory benefits, but one compound, lupeol cinnamate, also prevented tumor development in a carcinogenesis test, a procedure in which cancer cells are literally “grown” in a culture dish.

So, this past weekend I had a birthday party. For my sorts of friends, this all meant an excuse (as if they needed one!) to troop over so they could spank me en masse. The debauched event took place at our local bar — not that my friends actually need their inhibitions mellowed, mind you!

Here you see me getting spanked by a new friend I made that very evening – I don’t know how “out” he is, so we’ll just call him The Hot Guy With Glasses…

Behind us is a line of people wanting to get their hands on my bottom. I had started by moving around the room (ostensibly being social, but conversations kept being interrupted by people demanding to spank me… [faux sigh]) but by the end of the party people just lined up and I was moved down the line from person to person!

It ended with a dear friend of mine (who I hope will soon be doing a guest post here!) who has long been someone I’ve felt very toppy around. (We can’t help ourselves — I’m an older sister, she is a younger sister — it is just the natural order of things that I tell her what to do!)

She was last in line, and when I settled over her lap, she gave me some nice thuddy spanks – more punches than spanks, really. A nice change from an evening of varyingly stingy slaps and smacks. But then, the lofty heights got to her head, and she said something cheeky (I can’t remember what, anymore — I must admit I was a bit high on endorphins and attention by this point!) and I just rolled up (managing to pull my skirt down in the process, for which I ought to be awarded some sort of femme medal!) and used the kinetic energy to pull her over my lap. She ended up on the wrong side for my best arm, but my second best arm can still give out some good whacks, and I had her squirming shortly.

Then we made out for a bit. Like you do. With Mr Defeu and her lovely boyfriend (and, well, everyone else!) looking on beneficently.

It was a good way to celebrate another year of making mischief. And has confirmed my dedication to getting into lots of trouble in the year to come!