Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘r/l scenes’ Category

The gorgeous and talented Pandora Blake is getting achingly close to launching her Dreams of Spanking, which she promises will have “high-quality, beautiful spanking films, photo galleries and audio stories which please the senses and excite the imagination. Pandora dreams of hard spanking, traditional English punishment scenarios, severe caning, historical storylines, edgy fantasies, romance, drama, dominance and submission – and more.”

As you can see by the image, I have shot with her for the site (and hoping to shoot with her again, as often as possible!) so I can vouchsafe that Pandora will indeed be living up to the promise of the site, if not out-doing herself!
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Originally posted on 16th Feb 2009.

Sorry that I was MIA for most of last week, but I went on a trip with Mr Defeu, and while I was gone I was mostly focused on work for my own new job. If I even look at my blog, I’ll tend to “just write a short entry,” which of course then tends to be one of my really long ones (which probably only three of you lot actually read all the way to the end!).

Our trip was down to Southern California – visiting several towns. The first one was for Mr Defeu’s work, a conference that had him away all day, leaving me in the hotel room to work and wander down to the hotel gym. Our favourite Thai restaurant is in that town, and we had a wonderful dinner there. Also, the night we went down to enjoy the hotel hot-tub, we had the surreal experience of ending up in a hot tub with a rugby team (women rugby players!) and a couple marines and listening to them chat as they passed around a bottle of Malibu rum. They were kind enough to include us as the rum went ‘round, and indeed, were very nice people and we had a lovely (if perhaps surreal) time talking to them.

Of course, I had totally forgotten the marks on my bottom from last Sunday’s strapping and caning extravaganza. Ooops! I tried to keep my bottom turned away from everyone (not an easy feat when you are in a round hot-tub!) but perhaps I needn’t have worried, because if anyone is used to seeing bruises, it’s rugby players and guys in the military, right?!

We then drove up to visit our friend Mr. Stagg (who really needs to get off his arse and start commenting on this blog. I mean YOU, Mr. Stagg!). He’s one of Mr Defeu’s oldest and bestest friends (if men can be said to have bestest friends…) and we all went to an old hang out of theirs and drank mai tais and generally had a wonderful evening. I got quite tipsy, but I remember we talked a great deal about fetish and spanking and fun stuff like that!

The next day we were off to LA for the LA Kink Fetish Weekend. We only went to the Saturday event, “Rubberotica,” because we wanted to get home on Sunday and enjoy a leisurely Monday (it’s Presidents’ Day here in the U.S.) before the real world starts back up on Tuesday.

Just the one event worked out fine for us! We had such a great time; I can only imagine the next night would have been anticlimactic! Read the rest of this entry »

Mr Defeu has many evil, evil tawses, but there is one stiff leather strap that I am always delighted to see him get out of the toy drawer. It looks about as imposing as any other piece of leather in his collection, but for some reason, this strap can’t hit me wrong — there’s not a time I don’t get some enjoyment from it. It ranges from “Ohhh, that’s a nice tease — please hit me harder!” to “Please keep that up — if you do, I’ll orgasm from this!” to “This is just a bit over the edge of what I can take, but it’s just that perfect amount over the edge! Do it again!”

There are some implements that from the first swat I loathe, despise, and outright hate. But this one turns me into an eager masochist, wriggling her bottom in eager anticipation. The implements which only hurt are perfect to use for tools of actual punishment. (Thus, the wooden paddle we have which is used for just that purpose, and which I do wish would just magically disappear, never to be seen again.) But this strap has come to be known as the “reward strap”. It’s just that good.

A couple weeks ago we were on a trip together. I often do his packing for him (a service I very much enjoy) and had used this opportunity to slip in that beloved strap and a bottle of lube — just in case, you know. It’s always good to be prepared for anything, right?! It was a busy, chaotic trip, but finally, on the last day, we had time alone together, and nothing else to do for a nice long evening stretching out ahead of us….
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This past weekend Mr Defeu and I had this most lovely, amazing scene, which I just had to share with you lot!

I said in a previous post that we haven’t been able to play much, recently, but that I’d been finding surprise benefits to that. We managed to grab some playtime this past weekend, and I was in for another nice surprise!

I don’t know what it was, but the energy between us was like when we first started playing together. There was an eagerness to it, an exploration of bodies, like you’d expect from a one-night-stand, not a married couple.

I was wearing this slutty spandex dress he’d bought me a while ago. It’s my favourite thing to wear on hot days, because there’s not much to it, but it keeps my breasts from bouncing around and flatters what small bits of my body it covers.

My new nick-title for him is Boss (like the girls in Heinlein!). He was teasing my nipples through the spandex, pinching harder and harder, and before long I exclaimed, “Ouch! You’re a meanie! You’re a mean Boss! I think I had better quit your employment!”

“No, I don’t think you will,” he replied (making me melt) and really pinched down a poor helpless nipple.

“Do you want me to go get the clothes pins…?” I asked, softly — as it was out of the role’s character, and a bit shyly as well…. He agreed, and I raced over to the “kinky drawer”, which is filled with straps, tawses, paddles, and other random assorted instruments of pain and pleasure.

“You’d better take your top down,” he warned, and I did so coyly. It’s amazing – I think I will be somewhat shy around Mr. Defeu forever. He’s seen me naked in very exposing positions, he’s done humiliating things to me in those positions – but I still feel awkward and nervous disrobing in front of him. It’s hot.

Next thing, I have one of the “nice” clips on each nipple. Now, I have supremely sensitive nipples, so while these clips might not impress most people, they have me squirming in serious discomfort in but a few minutes.

Thus followed a timeless (but all too long and all too short!) period of Mr Defeu putting clips on, taking clips off, getting out the “nasty” clips and putting them on (“I will scream if you use that!” I warned shrilly – and scream I did!) and finally we ended with four clips on my nipples, me squirming in ever-increasing pain until I said, breathlessly, “I can’t take it anymore!”

He held my wrists in one hand as the pain overcame me. Undoubtedly he was counting in his head, but I couldn’t keep track of the seconds as they ticked by. Finally, he yanked them all off, and there was the rush of pain that comes from nipple-clamp removal, but honestly it was overwhelmed by my relief and the Adrenalin rush! I threw my arms around him, kissing his face and neck, filled with such gratitude that he would take me there, take control, help me experience things like that.

It’s moments like that when I really realize how much the giving of pain is a gift, the act of dominating is a selfless one at the same time as it is giving the top their own more-selfish pleasures.

We were both a bit breathless, eyes sparkling with lust. One of us was drippingly wet, the other painfully erect.

Then he ordered me into a modified 69 position, my hips to one side of his head. I went down on him as he spanked and fingered me.

For some reason, this gave him an all too good angle of attack for the spanks. Each one bit into me sharply. I soon could no longer focus on the pleasure of his finger for the distraction from the pain, and sometime thereafter had to stop going down on him, as well, for fear of biting him!

He was delighted by my helplessness, and didn’t seem to care that I had stopped pleasuring him – he was entirely focused on his own sadistic pleasures.

The nipple play had been an utterly confusing combination of pleasure and pain. I always perceive nipple play in very confused senses: pain as being delicious, pleasure as being too intense and thus painful. But this spanking (usually something I mostly perceive as pleasurable) had moved rapidly into the realm of purely painful.

As I have learned about myself as a masochist: it was the sort of thing I hated in the moment, but would later masturbate over, cherishing all the details of the intense pain and feelings of being overwhelmed.

After he had satisfied his sadism, he ordered me on top of him. I think he really delights in having hurt me, knowing I have suffered, and then seeing me be unable to keep from orgasming right as soon as he pushes inside me.

We finished back at the blowjob. It just seemed right – to thank him, to try and express how much it meant to me, and how appreciative I was for every moment of it.

It is actually true that every cloud has its silver lining – at least within the spankoverse.

Mr Defeu and I have not had overmuch playtime in the past few months – travel (including two weddings where we were in hotels surrounded by family members!) and poor health and other factors have all taken their toll on our play-life.

This weekend we were finally had a full weekend to just be with each other: no places to go, people to see, or anything pressing to do. So, of course, he went and decided to rebuild the media server, but happily – for me – this eventually became frustrating enough that he needed to have a special “break” with a strap, some canes, his hand, and me!

Once we’d gotten me in regulation knickers and a white shirt (the uniform dressing got only so far, partially because it was quite a warm day, and partially because we were rarin’ to go…) he gave me the quick-n-dirty “storyline” to our play: “So you’ve finally come over to see your uncle…” he growled, putting it into his voice that he was unhappy at me for neglecting my familial duties for so long.

As he was at that moment fondling my bottom, I decided that I must not have visited him recently because of his obvious lecherous ways!

Before I could compose that sentence, however, he started pulling me over his lap. “You know you need a spanking, girl…” he explained.

“But,” I said protesting, “I’ve been good!”

“Well, then, you need a spanking to remind you to continue being good.”

Well, that seemed quite unfair to me, so I decided that I might as well earn the inevitable spanking: “You’re just a dirty old pervert!” I exclaimed, with full disgust at the situation dripping from my every word.

No one will be surprised that shortly thereafter, hard spanks rained down on my bottom.
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