Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘service’ Category

Apologies all, for coming back with a vengeance and then disappearing again. I was all set to put some real time and energy back into this blog … but then the novel I’ve been wanting to write finally started flowing, and I’ve been putting all my energy into that, because I would actually like to get the thing written and published in this lifetime. I can only do so much writing in a day (and so much non-immediately-paying-work, or things start to get a little uncomfortable in the wallet region), so for the next I don’t know how many months, I’m only going to be up here when I can steal a moment or two from the novel.

A funny thing I wanted to write about writing the novel is that I’ve been working on a sex scene these past two days, and it’s taking me way longer to write what is essentially a vanilla sex scene than it would to write a nice spanko piece of erotica. Not that I wouldn’t put a spanking scene in the novel, but it’s not the right place for it in that spot. Since it’s not a spanking scene, I’m trying to write a really good vanilla scene — one that authentically turns me on, but is not too filthy to sell to a normal publisher. (Although I have been noticing that novels now can have scenes as explicit as any porn — it’s just a matter of not having them be too kinky without at least a tenuous reason.)

So, it’s taking me waaaay longer to write this quite basic scene, then it would for me to write a much more intricate spanko one. Amusing.

Also amusing: Chross just recently posted a James Bond clip I’d forgotten all about, but which certainly turned me on when I was a teenage girl watching the all Bond flicks for the first time:

Of course, now I’m going to have, “Gold — fingah!” being sung in my head all day by Shirley Bassey. [sigh]

I see Chross one Bond film, and raise him a Star Trek spoof with equally delightful sexism:

The whole joy of being a post-feminist, I feel, is getting to eroticise being treated like a brainless “little lady,” a second-class citizen who is expected to stay at home and keep out of the men’s way, dear, we’ve got some real business to attend to. Why don’t you go make us some coffee, there’s a good girl!

There’s something so hot about that for me. That casual, “I can slap your bottom any time I like because I’m the superior man, and you are basically a pet who can do the cooking and wash up (if you don’t need someone with superior brains and/or strength to fix something first, that is, in which case I will shake my head and give you the help you need with noblesse oblige oozing out of my ever-so-superior pores).” I like that I can choose to live in (or visit!) that world. (Of course, it’s the fact that it’s a choice that makes it hot, so I thank my bra-burning fore-mothers for that.)

It reminds me that the other night Papa Otter and I were watching TV, and there was something on about a culture (or something — I’m blanking on it, now) where the women are inferior to the men. I turned to him and gave him a nudge and said, “Oh, like in Blushes or Janus! That’s your sort of world!”

“No,” he replied with the calm smile of someone about to smoothly deliver a punchline, “Not inferior … just different .. and subordinate!”

Phwoar! (A., What a sexy delivery — I’m so turned on by that sort of thing, and B., that relaxed and certain superiority is just what I was talking about above as being hot for me. Double whammy!) That sort of thing just makes me want to go off and have the kind of hot kinky sex where I am obviously there for his pleasure, because that’s what a wife is for, to serve and please her husband, right?!

Ooooh! I’m all hot and bothered, now. Maybe must go have a moment of, ahem, personal relief before I go back to writing my novel!

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Most of my blog posts recently have been ruminations/discussions about punishment and discipline. Well, this weekend, my Master put those ideas and notions into practice!

Discipline from Kink On Demand

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Well, I didn’t get punished this weekend, which is a blessing because “that time of the month” started up, but also frustrating because I just want to get the darn thing over with! Whenever we do anything else, sex or play-wise, the spectre of the punishment just looms over the whole thing the whole time. Well, at least for me it does. Of course, at the same time my Master might just be enjoying the piquant pleasure of knowing that I will soon be submitting to his punishment. Sadists, I tell you….

I was a very domestic slave this weekend, cleaning the kitchen and tidying the house, and cooking sausage and mash one night, and then putting the leftover mash on a shepard’s pie the next evening. I’m very particular about my shepard’s pie, so it takes perhaps a bit longer than the time in which some other cooks could prepare it, but my Master made happy noises the whole time he ate it, so that was reward in and of itself.

Sunday we met a friend of a friend, who had come on quite high recommendation. Mistress Katja is a lovely and sparklingly witty girl, and we met for a late lunch and ended up talking until evening snuck upon us. It’s lovely to meet a fellow perv and just be able to talk about anything, and they’ll know what you are talking about, and you don’t have to worry about offending them or freaking them out. We will hopefully be able to do a shoot with her in the future … and as we were making rough plans, I just had this sense of how incredibly lucky I am, that I can meet people like this, have a wonderful meal with them, and then get to work with them. (And she has the cutest mini Chihuahua, who sat on my lap and let me cuddle it for a while!)

It being the San Francisco Bay Area, I did at one point look up from my tea to see a woman in black tights and sequined tap-pants and a big red wig carrying a huge stuffed horse. She walked past, crossed the street, and wandered on … I do wonder what that was all about! I’m not particularly surprised to see anything happen in this city, but I still feel delight at the random strangeness of it all, and the surreal moments that happen here, be it in a dungeon, on the street, or just anywhere and everywhere.

What’s that? You want me to talk about sex? Oh, all right, if you insist!
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So I need to renew my driver’s license, and for reasons too boring to go into here, I need to take the written exam. I’ve needed to do this for quite some time, but have been putting it off, and off, and off. Now, next month, my current license will expire, so I have to actually go do this thing.

My Master and I have worked out a way to make studying the DMV handbook more fun – for both of us.

The set up goes like this: my Master puts me over the convertible step-stool, i.e., the Chair of Doom. Then he asks me questions from the sample tests the DMV provides. When I get an answer wrong, I get a certain number of strokes from the cane (which he sets before we start, although he seems to feel completely guiltless about changing that number whenever suits him!)

I’ve been fantasizing about this for the last few weeks. (And, to be honest, not studying overly much. That DMV handbook is written in such a way as to make your mind wander within a page, I swear!) Last Sunday we had our first study session.

My Master was in a spandex mood (and, it seems, having some ‘80s nostalgia!), and so had me in spandex short shorts and a thong leotard. I must say that I find such outfits really quite humiliating. I think most short shorts make my thighs look fat, and a thong leo is simply embarrassing to wear at the best of times. But he loves it – I mean it really turns him on! So I just try not to look in any mirrors, and let his eyes be my mirror, so I can feel as sexy as he sees me. It’s generally not easy at first, but gets easier as the scene progresses and his lust is obvious and continuing….

Once the outfit was on, he couldn’t wait to get started. I, on the other hand, was not in a great headspace. It was my first day of my “period week” in my menstrual cycle, and PMS was still in full swing. When he said it was time for the scene, I responded with alacrity, because I’ve found that if I have to beg out of a scene, I regret it for months later, every day that scenes don’t happen and I find myself thinking wistfully back to that scene that could have been. So I pretty much have to be bleeding from the eyeballs these days for me to even consider asking for a reprieve, and I certainly wasn’t going to give up a good scene opportunity just because I felt cranky and slow and tired. I even put on the thong with good grace!

But as the scene was getting started, a wave of self-pity rolled over me. My pain tolerance was at it’s lowest; why did we always have to do a scene on the first day of my period? I didn’t really want to be in pain, anyway. And other whinging, which I happily kept entirely internal.

My Master I don’t think noticed my inner turmoil – he was too busy enjoying the view of my spandex-clad bottom. He was so excited that he couldn’t keep his hands off: he suddenly changed plans, put the chair back into its chair shape, and put me over his knee for a warm-up spanking. (This did leave me a bit bemused, because he’s normally completely uninterested in a warm-up!)

He started in on the spanking, and I tried to get myself in headspace. He moved up the intensity scale pretty quickly, and my self-pity increased accordingly. Finally I burst out crying, more from the unfairness of it all than from actual pain. He lifted me off his lap, and started setting the chair up for the study session. He decided on using a tawse, first.

I got my first question wrong, and he thwacked my bottom a few times. I got the next one right, and then the next one wrong. And somewhere along the line, my self-pity and stupid headspace vanished, and the scene was just good and fun and sexy and hot.
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A Boy and a good (bad) Girl
OR
A lesson in loving

I was sitting at a table in the Black and White Milk Bar on the Odeon side of the Edgware Road, just a hop, skip and a jump away from Marble Arch.

It was late October of ’52 I don’t remember the day; it was about a week past my 17th birthday.

I was dawdling over my cup of coffee: it was the only one I could afford, and when I drank it, I would have to go back to my lonely room. I was about to take the last swallow when a woman, at least 25 years old, entered the bar. What’s so unusual about that, you may ask? Well, the bar is a teenage bar, we don’t normally see adult women in here.

She wore a white coat and red shoes with 2” heels, and an air of confidence.

She looked ‘round and smiled, I imagine every boy in the place was gaping at her, I know I was.

She looked at me and touched her chin, I realised my mouth was open and shut it, nearly biting my tongue in the process. “Are you looking at me?” she asked.

“I’m looking at you, yes.”

“Why?”

“Because you are worth it,” was the first thing to come out of my mouth. She shook her head, and went and ordered a white coffee.

She brought her coffee over to my table and looked down at me. “May I join you?”

I stood up, and said, “Of course, be my guest.” She stuck her hand out and said, “Eve. “A little overdressed aren’t you…?” I asked, trying to make a little joke. She smiled. “And I’m Paul, very pleased to meet you…” my hand was a little sweaty when I shook hers.

“To what do I owe the honour,” I asked, as she settled down in the chair across from mine.

“I beg your pardon…?”

I looked around slowly at the other tables. “There are empty tables and better looking boys. I may have just come from the country, but I’m no hick, are you after something? You don’t feel like a Pro, and if you are, there is no one here who could afford you.”

“If you will walk with me I’ll tell you,” she replied. Fascinated, I decided a walk with her could not hurt, and we left her white coffee untouched.

“My boyfriend is away on business abroad; he only returns twice a year … you appear to have some of his qualities, when you looked at me you looked straight at me, you weren’t shy about telling me that I’m attractive, and you joked about my name.”

“Where is this leading, Eve? I don’t do one night stands.”

She answered sharply, “Neither do I!” She took a deep breath. “Look, I need to explain, and I can’t do this in the street. I live just ‘round the corner … will you trust me for an hour? I have real coffee and even some biscuits.”

“Lead the way, Miss Mysterious, you’ve talked me into it. It was the biscuits that did it, you know. Always my downfall, biscuits!”

We entered a house with only one bell on the door, brass fittings on the door, very smart.

Eve took of her coat, hung it on a coat rack, underneath she wore a calf length skirt and a sweater, a tight sweater, both were muted green. I liked what I saw. She took my jacket and hung it next to her coat. She kicked off her red heels, and left them by the door.

She led into a sitting room with some very expensive furniture. She seated me and went and drew the heavy curtains. I wondered at that.

“How do you take your coffee?”

“Strong, no sugar and a little cold milk.”

I heard her walk down the hall, shortly she returned bearing a tray with cups, saucers, a dish with biscuits, and milk and sugar. “The coffee will be about ten minutes,” she said.

“Why don’t you start explaining what this is all about?” I asked her.

“Can it wait until we are settled?” she asked, seeming a bit nervous.

“Alright – but at least sit down, you are making me nervous.”

She sank down to the floor, half kneeling next to me. It was surprisingly graceful and strangely comforting, her head was level with my thigh, she looked up at me and smiled, she was calm and composed as if she had finally come home.

I took the opportunity to look her over. Long shining brown hair which hung halfway down her back, continuing down the top half of her bum. As I looked, she leaned forward to pluck a loose thread from the rug letting me see the whole round of her bottom, beautiful. She looked up at me again, clear grey eyes under well-formed and defined eyebrows, a sweet, rather long face with full lips, and a firm chin. Her neck seemed long and slender, resting on good shoulders. A very good chest: nice breasts, double B or perhaps C, and then a slightly rounded tummy sitting on nicely rounded hips, the thighs were firm and the legs long. “Like what you see, Paul?” she asked somewhat acerbically.

“Yes, Eve, very much – your boy friend is a very lucky fellow.”

“He thinks so. Oh – I’ll fetch the coffee.” As she walked away, I had a perfect view of her posterior; it had that tilt and sways that called out for a pair of male hands on it, yes I thought, very nice indeed.

Eve carried in a silver coffee pot, the steam coming from it smelled divine. She put the milk in first and then poured, and I took a sip: first class coffee.

Eve sat down again, next to me, this time she kneeled upright with her hands open on her thighs. Looking up to me she said, quickly as if nerving herself, “Paul, the reason I’ve asked you here, is to put a question to you. Now I want you to give me an honest answer, don’t worry about my feelings.”

“OK fire away.”

“If I was your girl and I told you that I’d been a very bad girl, what would you do?”

“Well, obviously I’d spank you. But to make sure that you got what you deserved, I’d need to clear a few things up. Are you sure you mean bad, not just naughty? Bad gets you a real spanking … naughty gets you a fun spanking. And furthermore, have you broken faith or trust? These aren’t cured by punishments, but by splitting up.”

“No, Paul I have not broken any faith, but I’ve been bad, and I need to be punished.”

“Are you quite sure? This isn’t a game, if I punish you will know it, and might regret it,” I warned her.

“I understand, Paul.” Eyes downcast.

“Well then, Eve, I need to know your offence before I can punish you.”
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