Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Archive for the ‘spankosphere’ Category

I’ve just run across a reference to my blog today that I had no idea was out there! The wonderful and talented Thomas S. Roche (whom, honestly, I feel grateful just having gotten to meet and hang out with a few times!) has some very kind words to say about my jottings:

Tragically, in recent years I’ve had to more or less stop reading erotica because I get the same things from reading it that I get from writing it, and if I read it I don’t write it. But I do sometimes read Zille Defeu’s blog and go berserk. Zille likes the spanking. Nonfiction is more of a turn-on for me than fiction when it comes to spanking.

I DO like the spanking! (Also, I am very fond of compliments! Thank you, Thomas!)

I got a really lovely compliment yesterday. I was walking home from grocery shopping. I’d been to the gym, and was sweaty and un-made-up and had put no effort into being sexy – it wasn’t on my mind at the moment, as I was mostly contemplating how heavy the groceries were.

I walked to a street that I usually use on the way home, and saw it was filled with construction workers. I had a moment’s pause, as any woman would, but decided, fuck it – I want to walk this way, and I’m darn well not going to let a bunch of workers stop me!

As I came up to them they noticed me, their conversation died away, and they aimed smiles in my direction. I smiled back at all and sundry, and continued on my way, feeling please for having braved the situation. But my rewards were not yet concluded, because after I’d passed them, they all suddenly broke out into song – something about pretty ladies. Well! That sort of compliment doesn’t happen every day. Hell, that’s more something that only happens in the movies! So I turned around, gave a bow and flourish with my hand – grinning delightedly. They started clapping, and then shouted out further compliments about me, notably about the rear view I was presenting. I grinned all the way home. And I rather imagine there was an extra bit of sashay in my step!

I myself am an “ass woman,” (i.e. – I enjoy checking out other people’s fundaments) so when people appreciate that part of me, it’s lovelier than them complimenting any other part of me. (Well, I don’t mind being told I’m a genius, either, although that happens somewhat less often!) My health hasn’t been great recently, and it’s been really getting me down. But it’s moments like this that can really turn you back around – the next time I feel depressed (or have body images issues!), I need to remember this moment and cherish it.

Here, just because we are on the topic, is a picture I particularly like of my bottom. (Hey – I like to give back!)

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From the Huffington Post:

Sarah Silverman is getting spanked by her new boyfriend, ‘Family Guy’ writer/producer Alec Sulkin, and her mom knows because she saw the hand-shaped bruises.

“You know what’s great about parents,” Sarah told David Letterman Wednesday night, “is that when you get famous you can do anything you want and they can’t do anything about it.”

On a recent trip home, Sarah said that she and her mom were hanging out in the bathroom while she waited for the shower to heat up. As she went to get into the shower, her mom said in horror, “Sarah, what is that?!”

“I looked in the mirror behind me and noticed that on my tushie is a bruise the exact same shape of a hand,” she said. “And I was able to just say, I’m sleeping with a man that spanks me.”

(Thanks, Spanking News!)

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Here is an excellent article which I think anyone who does kinky play (or is looking into getting into that sort of thing) must read, contemplate, and discuss with play partners and anyone who will hold still for the discussion.

The BDSM scene can get a bit too caught up in trying to codify the “rules” of kinky play. Since we are all playing different games at different levels of intensity, this ranges from silly to stupid in results, although of course one understands the desire to have one set of stable and unchanging rules — doing kinky stuff is playing with fire, and people want to figure out how to make that as safe and rewarding as possible. Sadly, making people jump through hoops of rules they may or may not want or need can take away the “rewarding” part, and can sabotage the “safe” by people rebelling and saying that “Safe, sane, and consensual” is utter bollocks. Hell, even I am more likely to call myself “Risk aware consensual,” because the SSC people have become so weirdly puritanical.

On the other hand, at least the BDSM scene is trying to do something to address the issues (issues like sub-drop, in this case). From experiencing the spanko world over the past couple years, I can say with certainty that some spankos are so insistent that what they do has nothing to do with anything that remotely involves BDSM, that they “cut off their nose to spite their face,” ignoring the good possibilities and examples that comes from the organized BDSM community. Safewords have their place, for example, in the spanko world. But people have to remember that safewords are not a perfect band-aid for every situation. I guess safewords are a bit like condoms: they are good tools to making play safer, but they do not take away all risk, and they don’t protect against a number of ways that diseases can be transmitted (and they can break!) and so an attitude that they makes things 100% safe is stupid and can have regrettable results. (And of course, some couples don’t want or need to use condoms, and forcing them to do so is really imposing your agenda on someone else.)

So, not everyone needs or wants after-care. But the fact that post-play “fallout” happens needs to be recognized and acknowledged, and people need to either offer some remedy for it or make it clear that they don’t offer anything for it, before play happens between new partners. It could be as simple as asking, “Do you have someone whom can lean on if you feel down after this scene?” Here, I’ll use the metaphor of fire again: you don’t just start a fire in a forest without doing some basic forest-fire-prevention steps, and you clean up after yourself.

I don’t care if you want to believe you’re not kinky and that spanking is entirely unrelated to the BDSM and fetish worlds. Fine — if that’s what you need to accept your desires and live a fulfilling life, go for it. But you still have to be responsible and treat the people with whom you do-whatever-it-is-that-you-do with respect and consideration. And that’s what things like safewords and after-care really are, under the terminology: care, consideration, respect, and responsibility.

Okay, I’m backing away from the soapbox! Back to your fun, everyone, because just because you need to be an adult about the broader aspects of this doesn’t mean you can’t savour it like a kid!

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I’ve been away from this blog too much recently, a combination of travel, holidays, and some poor health, and it’s been taking me forever to catch up with my friends in the spankosphere. But the fault is not mine! So many blogs have been pouring out really brilliant stuff recently.

First up, The Mystery Minx just posted a very intimate look at her early desires for school uniforms. Since she doesn’t post much, one needs to savour every post we get out of her! Go tell her she needs to post more!

Next, I’m totally jealous of Adele Haze, who did a kinky 12 Days of Christmas. That’s just the hottest thing ever. (And, unlike Leia-Ann Woods, I am still a “a spanking virgin of 2010” so when I say I’m jealous, I really mean it!)

Spankingblog.com posted the coolest Krampus picture as his Christmas gift to us this year. Thanks!

Kami did a scene with HH which gave her the wondrous revelation about herself as a spanko. While I personally would like to be left alone while I exercise (it hurts enough, thankyouverymuch, and when I work out I’m just focused on moving my body correctly or if it’s yoga, maintaining proper alignment, so I don’t need painful distractions) I agree with Kami that yes, everyone wants to see girls in gym shorts take a caning. At least my Master does, and his tastes have not just rubbed off on mine — completely supplanted (or at least modified) most of my fantasies.

EmmaJane visited a very dark fantasy recently. It really worked for me! (Although if you have abuse issues, I don’t recommend you try it – it’s all-too well-written.)

And The Spanking Writers always set a high standard, but even they have been sharing the most brilliant stuff recently. The pencil between the teeth story, for one, and a Christmas spanking, and then … well, I was totally bowled over when they honoured me with “Hottest Kinky Blog” in their The 2009 Spanking Writers Awards. I still haven’t thanked them properly, and honestly I don’t really know how – it means so much to me!

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There’s been memes going around the blogs like the annual winter flu is going around me and all my friends.

None have really excited me that much, but Graham has fixed that! Here is her meme. I’ve caught Graham fever — you can too!

1. Tell us your Kinsey rating! (That is, where you fall, approximately, on the spectrum of sexuality, with zero being “only attracted to members of the opposite sex” and six being “only attracted to members of the same sex.” Follow the link for the full breakdown.)

I’m a “3” but in interesting ways. When it comes to masturbating, most of my fantasies involve a male (or at least masculine) – but in real life, I’m far more comfortable with women. I have some male spanko friends I trust, but they go through a very fine filter. But I’ll make out with or plunk myself over the lap of … well, I shouldn’t say, “most women,” but my social sieve is rather less selective! Or perhaps women are all just “finer”!

2. Spanking / BDSM “type” that suits you best (switch, top, masochist, grand-master-wizard, etc.):

Mostly-bottom-switch. I get the most from receiving the spanking … but sometimes even I must admit that there are times when there is nothing better than warming up someone’s bottom!

3. Favorite blog / site of the moment (kinky/spanking-themed):

I’ll say Pandora, because I’ve been engaging in mutual stalking with her….

4. Favorite non-kinky blog / site of the moment:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/

5. Latest spanking fantasy floating in your head:

My fantasies get more and more extreme … until they reset to a simple one of being put over Daddy’s lap for a spanking. The default reset is non-sexual, but then the sex worms its way in … first Daddy puts a finger in my bottom while lecturing me on my bad behaviour (as Graham says, don’t ask where this stuff comes from!) … and next thing you know, I’ve worked up to being kidnapped by slave traders and “broken in.”

6. Blogger you’d like to spank / be spanked by:

As Graham is responsible for this meme, I think it only fair she pay for it by getting over my lap! But that’s for when we both are actually in spanking-distance of each other! I think the most likely blogger I’ll be spanking or spanked by soon is Mystery Minx!

7. Age when you lost your (consensual, adult) spanking virginity — if this has yet to happen, give us a prediction or goal!

This is hard! I did some “rough sex” and roleplay in senior year of high school, and freshman year of college my open-minded boyfriend spanked me (he wasn’t really into it, but thought leaving red hand-prints was really fun!) and then my first BDSM scene was later, junior year of college. But I can’t say I was spanked by a proper spanko until I met my Master!

8. Favorite literary reference (excluding spanking stories!):

I find Heinlein answers for both spanking and non-spanking!

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”

For Heinlein on spanking, SpankingBlog has my favourite spanking scene in Heinlein.

9. Strangest limit:

Cold water. I’d rather boiling pitch be poured on me!

10. Some Random Vanilla Trivia, in the grand tradition of memehood… Like, “what are you listening to right now,” or “what’s your favorite fruit,” or anything similarly banal.

“Leeds United” by Amanda Palmer. And any fruit except kiwi fruit, which I think is icky!

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