Kaya, as per usual, rocks the world with her latest post, which includes the lyrics to Depeche Mode’s Song “Blue Dress.”
This had weird correspondences for me, because I just happen to ripping Depeche Mode: The Singles 86-98 right now, and also because the image below just happens to be the “Pic of the Day” at Rubberdollies.com
This image leads nicely to what I was going to say about dressing for my Master’s pleasure. My Master loves me in catsuits (latex, spandex, anything tight and shiny!) He loves to see me in schoolgirl outfits, or very feminine outfits (which lends nicely to my own secretary fetish!) Most of all — he loves me wearing riding breeches or jodhpurs, preferably full rinding outfits with a black leather waist-cincher!
And I love to dress for his pleasure! I do not understand why any person would NOT dress to suit their partner’s fetishes — Reason number one: if you love them, then it gives you delight to make them happy and that’s such an easy way to do it. Reason number two: it gets you laid. Lots. All people who have fetishes (or even just strong preferences) really appreciate when you take the time and thought to making their fantasies into reality. It’s a way to show you are thinking of them and care about them. It also makes them horny. Who doesn’t want a horny partner, one who is just dying to get their hands on you! (Although I’m not sure Kaya actually needs her husband to be hornier than he already is. He may well split her in two!)
When women gripe and moan about sex not being the same as the beginning of the relationship, I always think about how they most likely got dressed up, put on the sexy nether-garments and etc., when they were first dating that person. Then, I think of them now slouching around the house in sweats. Who wants to have sex with someone in sweatpants? (As I can tell you from painful experience with an ex, sweatpants, are not sexy.) Dressing for your partner’s pleasure should be considered part of a good relationship, in any sane world.
And for a D/s relationship … well, that was the first rule my Master put in place, so obviously he’s of the same mind as me. But then, we’re both photographers, so aesthetic pleasures rate highly for us both. (Which is a fancy way of saying we like to look at hot people in sexy outfits! Well, more than just that, but that does take up a fair share of our attention!) I was talking the other night with a gal about this very topic, and she said something to the effect of: “That’s all very well for you, but for those of us who aren’t built like you —” (and at this point she gestured to her own body) “it’s not so much fun. I get embarrassed about wearing some of those clothes.”
Which made me sad. If you are a gal who is “pleasingly plump” or “lusciously pear shaped” or whatever your body-image issues are, yeah, society’s obsession with skinniness is going to be pretty hard on you. I know it from experience, myself. But if you have found a partner who thinks that your body looks good in items ranging from a catsuit to some strings of dental floss (or what-have-you), well, you’re one lucky duck, and you should make sure to enjoy every minute of it, and flaunt yourself for his/her delight in you. If there is something your partner wants you to wear that really makes you miserable, and they want you to leave the house in it, well, all you have to do is explain how you feel and suggest some other outfit that is sure to please. (Unless you’re in a situation where your Master is actively trying to humiliate you, in which case, you’re screwed and you had best just suck up and deal with it with as much dignity as you can muster. Although that does sometimes lead to what I think of as inconsideration to the general public. I think it’s not very polite to foist your sexuality onto unwilling others, who just don’t want to know. Dressing up as an adult baby at your local dungeon, or out at the Folsom Street Fair, is one thing. But you shouldn’t wear the adult diapers and bib out grocery shopping, no matter how much you or your Master likes it. It’s just not considerate of others.)
Anyway, I think dressing for your partner’s pleasure (be they your Master or not) is a seriously overlooked part of a relationship — which is strange, because nearly every issue of Cosmopolitan that I’ve ever been stuck flipping through at the gym tells you that relationships and sex-lives are better if you do just that. (For once, you should listen to the women’s magazines!) I know that I feel so much sexier and more vibrant when I am wearing clothes that draw my Master’s eyes to me, that encourage him to think of terrible things to do to me. When I am wearing those clothes, I tend to strut down the street, feeling like sex on wheels (“Uber baby!”)