Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Sir, I was doing okay on not missing you too much before I watched this. Now I long to hear your voice. I’d probably cry on the phone again, though.

I was going to wait until tomorrow to write up my thoughts on this video – but I am putting off even masturbation to write this all down – I have to. The cane lays over my lap as I write. (I don’t know why, but it is a comforting thing.)

Sir – this video made me cringe with almost every stroke. This was much less mental arousal than the previous film – but the physical reaction was exactly the same.

(Image from ClassicSpanking.com)

It started out so well. Just the kind of role-play I like: his doctor’s coat was a turn-on, as well as the thick-rimmed glasses. I have long craved and fantasized about not just a “test” scene like this, but an actual interrogation scene, so I was excited from the get-go.

I was happy with the length of the lead-in part of the film. I like a good storyline and this video was excellent for that.

When she was bent over the table, waiting for the first stroke, and he swished the cane through the air, my heart leaped into my throat. I can’t even describe the horror/fascination when he hit her for the first stroke and it came up so fast, so dark. That was when I knew I was in trouble.

I watched the rest, slack-jawed, in a sort of shock. About half-way through I paused it, went for a drink of water for my dry mouth, and then held the cane and stroked it. I told myself, “This cane will do that to you.” I tried to make myself feel it, not to try to talk myself out of wanting it, but to simply comprehend realistically what is going to happen. But I just liked touching it – it feels good and smooth in my hands. Just spending some time holding the cane calmed me down, although it seems very strange to me, not like a reaction I should be having at all.

The rest of the film was somehow easier. Flight officer Fennington kept kicking up, and moving her hands and head from where he wanted her to. My first reaction was, “I wouldn’t do that!” My response to myself was, “You fool, you’ll kick and raise up and protest as much or more than her!” I resolved the internal conflict by thinking that for the video it was simply good visuals to have her squirming around like that, and you simply won’t let me get away with as much as she did. I do not want to get away with anything, Sir. I want to learn how to, when you tell me not to move, hold still for the whole caning.

The one other thing that really got to me was how cold and clinical he was. Which of course, was his role in this video. But I think that would hurt me more than the caning. I know that when he ran his finger – just one – down her welts, oh, it was so terrible! It made me feel worse inside than the huge bruises that were forming on her cheeks. Yet, it was perfect – he was pretty perfect in the role (although the “name and rank” part was too short for my tastes; if I were in that scene, I think it would have helped me to have had to answer questions yelled at me, to be offered “this pain will end if you just tell us what we want to know,” etc. Being able to slip into the role more fully would have helped me deal with the pain and the … lack of my Master’s warm caring touch. Otherwise, why bother with a scene at all, why not just have at her with the cane and be done with it?) and I found myself having the same reaction to the coldness as the caning, in the end.

The cold shower part was disappointing, just an afterthought. (Not that I’d actually want to experience a cold shower — that would just make me give up and want to be cuddled in a warm blanket until I was the right temperature again!)

This film did not give me the “warm fuzzies,” like the other one did. (And who would have thought that a caning film would ever give me the warm fuzzies? – not me!) But it gave me something else: a goal.

To conclude, Sir: I come away from this film wanting to take a caning just like this from you, for you.

Brutal Examination	Six of the Best!
Truly sadistic caning	Thrown in a cold shower

(These images from video-on-demand site HotMovies.com)

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