Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

I just saw a post from , wherein she said:

“I’ve been very, very, very sick for a very long time. As a result, everything I usually do around the house is only getting 1/2 done at best. I manage to get a load of dishes into the dishwasher, but the counters and stove don’t get wiped down. I’ll go through the house and pick up the laundry to gather it, but it doesn’t get washed. I’ll go get the mail from downstairs but forget to open it.

I don’t know what’s making me feel worse right now. Being sick or looking around my house and feeling like a failure/overwhelmed. I just today realized that I’ve probably been sick all week but being trying to keep on trucking like it wasn’t happening.”

I haven’t been quite as sick, but my Master and I have some nasty bug (he stayed home from work yesterday, which almost never happens — and certainly never seems to happen when I’m trying to cajole him to take a sick day and stay home and have kinky sex all day!) but the combination of this kind of low-grade always feeling sick plus trying to meet the huge deadline at work has meant that I can’t keep up with the housework. I’m so unhappy with how the state of the apartment is right now, just looking around makes me unhappy. But I don’t have the energy to pick anything up, and if I did, it should be expended doing work for the jobby-job.

I feel like a failure as a slave. Which is probably just depression from being sick, but I still feel that way.

We did have a good night last night, but I think I did too much and I’m paying for it today. We had the GSG over for dinner and drinks, and I made cassoulet (sans confit) in my new Le Creuset “French oven.” It turned out really well, and we had a lovely night talking to the dear girl about nothing and everything (and in particular a certain important dress to be made) but I was yawning in utter done-ness by 9PM, and then I stayed up too late because I was simply past the point of exhaustion. And I had managed to clean the kitchen, yesterday (no small feat), but now it’s a complete mess again, and the sight of it makes me want to cry, because I’m dizzy and nauseated and I simply can’t do anything about it…. All I can do is lie here on the sofa (after taking a several hour nap) and do nothing, even though I want to do laundry, and work, and vacuum the floors, and pick up all the stuff that’s lying around.

This really sucks. It’s hard to be a slave when you’re sick. And impossible to be a good slave.

EDIT: (7:53PM) I did the dishes. And talked to my Master, who is in super-supportive Daddy-mode and is going out to get some groceries and buy me ginger ale. I love him so much! Also had cheering chat with my lil sis. But, the main thing is, I DID THE DISHES. I did one task that I can feel proud of, and that my Master can feel proud of me for doing. Now, I’m going to mellowly see if I can get a smidgen of actual work done before my Daddy comes home, and we can settle down with left-over cassoulet and watch some nice mindless T.V….

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