Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

So, when last we tuned in, our heroine was rubbing her sore bottom. No … wait … we have to rewind further back than that, to find out how she got said sore botty!

So, wearing only knickers, bra, and socks (was I wearing shoes? I have absolutely no recollection and we’ll have to wait until NSI releases the video to find out!), under the hot, bright lights, and I’ve just told Paul Kennedy and Stephen Lewis that I’m all ready to go, despite the fact that I’m quaking in my metaphorical boots (I’m pretty sure I wasn’t actually wearing boots, at least!).

Stephen settles down on the sofa to await my entrance, I go off camera and try to compose myself. I quickly review my dream in my head, trying to come to a last-minute understanding of what my character will act like – since she is going to be whinging and moaning, and need to be strapped for such annoying behaviour at each step of the way, I figure it’s time for a stubborn brat, sullen petulant teenager, who is letting her frustration with the situation get in the way of her sense of self-preservation. (As I recall from being a teenager myself, that was not hard to accomplish – what was hard to accomplish was to get past the boredom and aggravation of wanting things to be different and as-you-wished-they’d-be, and overcome that self-focus and unrealistic expectation and actually make reasonably good choices and decisions. And sometimes it was just all too difficult, and didn’t seem worth the effort at all!)

So, now girded about the loins with petulance and self-righteousness, I was ready to make my grand entrance. Of course, filming being what it is, it wasn’t quite yet time for me to enter stage right, because camera angles and blocking were still getting last-minute modifications, so I had to stand there, trying with body language to hold my character in place – the postures and attitudes of frustrated youth: foot taping, crossing and uncrossing arms over chest, eyes rolling, moving hands around in ways that express the utter boredom you have for everything and everyone. (However, I’m trying to do all of this in miniature; just enough to work for me, so that people don’t actually think I do feel that way!)

By the time everything had got sorted, I had managed to work my way far enough into my character to be as impatient and full of aggravation as possible, so I stormed onto camera with the full force of frustrated teenage energy in me.

I don’t know if Stephen Lewis was at all taken aback by this transformation, but he took it in professional stride, and not shortly thereafter we had worked out that I did not want to – would not! – put on the scratchy nylon gym knickers, and there was nothing for it but the strap. Of course!

It was an intense scene. And it was the first time that I’d worked with Stephen or NSI , so we were all walking the fine, fine line between getting them the best movie possible (my goal!) and me not getting seriously damaged or otherwise be overwhelmed (their goal!). I must say, though, that it’s not a bad way for a spanking film to be created: the model is more worried about giving the content producers the best film she can make, whilst the content producers are more concerned about taking care of the model. Indeed, I think that’s possibly the perfect way for a spanking film to come into existence!

Anyway, I won’t give more away. You have read my dream – so you’ve got the plotline – we stayed quite close to that, with Stephen adding his own touches, and me having fun with being a whingy spoiled little brat.

(I must admit that there is some small part of me that worries, when I play that role, that people are going to be horrified and think that’s really me! There is always the problem of people thinking that the characters you play really are who you are. And I like “playing a brat on TV,” but I’m really not comfortable being one in real life!)

I was a terribly realistic brat, however (memories of my teen years finally come in handy, which is more than most people can say for theirs!), which was undoubtedly the only reason why Stephen was so enthusiastic about strapping me!

After the end of the shoot, it was decided it was time to give my bottom some recovery time, and after a nice cuppa, Mr. Defeu and I took the crew down to the pub where they were staying, and we had a nice little walk around town (err, wee tiny village) whilst they dropped off their bags, etc. We came back and drinks ensued, and then dinner, and then more drinks as we couldn’t stop talking and laughing, and no one wanted the night to end.

Happily, despite that, I was able to get a full night’s sleep – I’d be needing it!

The next day we got the big video out of the way first: I was an overzealous coach (except that I had a whistle and never got to blow it! I should have done so right in the opening of the shoot. Damn, I hate missed opportunities!) and the ever-lovely Irelynn Logeen was one of my track students (she looked delish in tight blue gym knickers and what in the UK they call a “vest” and in the US we call “wife-beater” — yes, really) and it turns out that she had taken my “win at all costs!” philosophy a bit too close to heart, and had won in a unique method of cheating (you’ll have to watch the video to find out what it was!) and Stephen showed up to let us know that, as a judge, he knew about the cheating, and the only way he would feel that A.) we had learned out lessons and B.) thus not feel the need to let the rest of the judges and people in charge was to administer the correction personally. (He’s such a selfless man, so devoted to fair play!)

The next day was more low-key but just as fun. Irelynn and I did a set with her topping me (her first time wielding a riding crop!) as the Rich Man’s Bitchy Daughter archetype, and me as a poor maid who has to suffer at her hands.

Then a nice lunch (we really hadn’t had time the day before to do more than nibble, so I had lots of provisions left!) where we all sat ‘round and chatted and had just the loveliest of times.

One last shoot: Meester Stephen and me al fresco! I was in a pretty ‘50s dress (thank you, O Wonderful Pandora!) and vintage undergarments and stockings, and he was all James Dean in black t-shirt and jeans. It was just a sweet, romantic, out-door spanking over s stone wall. Happily, Paul trod down all the nettles, and didn’t decide to make them a part of the shoot! That would have been rather less romantic!

I was really torn at the end of the last shoot. I didn’t want the fun to end, didn’t want my friends to leave … but they had certainly put me to work, and I was sorta ready for a post-porn nap!

I’m writing this on the airplane, over a week after a wrote the first half of this post. (I had to stop off for five days with my family on the way home. My dad’s health isn’t great, and it seemed the best idea to get some time with him while I still can.) But the shoot is just as fresh in my mind as if I was writing this the same day of the shoot!

Lovely Pandora reminded me when we were hanging out that I have years of fetish, alt, and BDSM modelling under my belt – a career in which I should take pride. But, truth to tell, these days I really don’t even think about that past anymore. My focus is so much on the spanking world, it’s as if all that other stuff has faded away. And, since I’m not actively promoting myself in that world, in essence I have just faded away.

Spanko modelling and blogging is my world now. I was blogging in this brave new world [coughs] for some years before Mr. Defeu married me, but, in a way, it was he who “carried me over the threshold” of the spankoverse – except I was dressed in a schoolgirl uniform, not a fancy wedding dress! (The big fancy wedding dress did come later!)

These shoots with dear Olivia and the wonderful NSI crew have reminded me (not that I needed it, but still it was appreciated) that I’m a proper spanko now, that this is my chosen tribe. The friendships I’ve made since joining up (“Proud Member since 2005!”) have been profoundly notable in that I over and over again feel like I’m reuniting with a beloved old friend, not meeting a new one. That’s so rare, and all you lovely spankos should now pat yourselves on the back and feel quietly superior to the rest of humanity. (I joke, but only by exaggerating a wee little bit!)

Now the waiting begins for NSI to release the photos and videos. Want to see, want want want!

7 Responses to “Shooting with Northern Spanking Institute | Part 2”