jewel`, my friend — I think you have it just right. Give people info as they can handle it. Forcing stuff in people’s faces never makes them feel happy about anything. They just can’t force their stuff in our faces, either!!!

That said, i am also careful on how i will explain the dynamic. As far as the kinky stuff goes, i have some close friends that know i am kinky. They don’t know the full extent of how kinky or how the full extent of the Master/slave dynamic. i don’t feel what He and i do in the privacy of our homes is anyone elses business. When someone does ask me why i will defer to Him or ask Him first if i will answer the same way i would in answering my children’s questions about sex. Not meaning that i would treat the person as a child only that i would give them the information that i feel they could understand and accept. Such as, we have an old fashioned sort of relationship. Or i prefer to check with Him first in case He has made plans that sort of thing.

i am of the opinion that no matter what a person’s sexual orientation or pleasure is, as long as it is between consenting adults, it is no one’s business but those directly involved. And that no matter what a person does in their private lives, they should not be discriminated against for it.

my apologies for my grammar and spelling, it has been a long day

jewel`

I’m as open as they come and I’ve certainly had my fair share of damage for my efforts. I firmly believe that the world isn’t safe for someone like me to come out until someone like me comes out and so that is what I do. But I wouldn’t go back and hide if it salvaged a few relationships here and there because they wouldn’t have lasted anyway.

Lee — I had noticed your name, which meant I liked you right away!

I imagine your Dom being a JW meant that he was attracted to discipline and order (and masochism) so that all makes sense!

My email is zilledefeu at gmail dot com — thanks for reminding me, I’ve been meaning to put up a contact form here, but keep forgetting! I’ll go do that!

And this is how I chose my display name, after the main character in Secretary.

On another note, Zille, do you have an email address? There’s something that I’d like to ask you.

T

Karl — Yes, there are a number of topics I either need to not discuss, or if I do, discuss with great integrity … and patience!

There are so many people who have a pair of handcuffs by their bed, or a silk scarf that never gets worn ’round the neck, that sort of thing. And yet they will be just as disparaging of an avowed kinkster as any repressed vanilla god-botherer!

But to demand that everyone talk about this stuff (when, I mean honestly, there’s only a few people who’s sex lives I’m actually interested in!) is not polite nor even right.

We need simply a quiet acceptance of people’s kinks, and a willingness to just move on and not worry about something if you just don’t “get it.”

Thanks for putting it over on the Forum — I’ll get right over there and join in the conversation!

I once made the mistake of taking someone I knew to that movie. I think he was permanently weirded out to learn that I was NOT weirded out by it. I think it has colored our friendship ever since.

And once I tried talking to my brother about this stuff. His reply: “You mean, you’re a sadist”.

Um, sort of.

I didn’t feel we were finding much common ground. But maybe I just need to be a little more bold and forthright. I have the feeling this stuff is just under the surface of so many people’s awareness. Either that or they’re into it, and just not talking — like me. And like you.

BTW, I excerpted this post for the Scouts Forum: http://chross.blogt.ch/forum/read.php?2,1035,1969#msg-1969