Subconscious Slavery
August 30th, 2008 | Author: Zille
Last night I had one of my recurring dreams. As dreams for girls go, it’s a lovely one.
I’m looking through my closet at my parent’s house, where for years I’ve stored extra clothing (winter clothes, stuff I haven’t worn for a while but am not ready to give away yet, etc.) and I find this treasure trove of clothes that I’d bought a long time ago, but forgotten about (in most dreams, I’ve never even worn them once.) They are all fabulous clothing (often clothes I’ve been eyeing in catalogues in real life) and I’m so excited to find them: I’m hauling hanger after hanger of lovely dresses, cute tops, sexy trousers, etc. out of the closet, and I just keep finding more. All my most materialistic fantasies are being fulfilled – and I already own the clothes!
But this time when I had the dream again, there was a new element. Part of my selection process for choosing which of the fabulous clothing to pull out of the closet was, “My Master will like me in this one!” or “My Master won’t be interested in me wearing this, I’ll leave it.”
For over three years I’ve been dressing for my Master every day. At first he told me what to wear, but after about six months or so, he began leaving it up to my judgment, as I knew what pleased him (and how to coordinate with it!) If, for some reason, I don’t wear something I know is pleasing to him, it is something that is deeply considered before I do it, and I generally ask permission or otherwise check-in.
I guess this has really sunk into my subconscious! It seems, by becoming part of a recurring dream I’ve had for years (sadly, it’s never come true!) to have become a part of how I think and who I am.
That’s cool! That’s real enslavement!
Yesterday I was talking on the phone with a shibari rigger I just met (on Facebook!) who my Master and I might be doing some photography for, and he asked me, “So, you have a Master – does that mean you consider yourself a slave?”
I had this moment of utter shock that anyone in our local scene could somehow be unaware that I belong to my Master! “Of course,” I told the rigger, “24/7!”
He thought it was cool, and that made me kind of think of it: I don’t think there are any other Master/slave photographic teams out there, at least in the fetish world! We’re unique! 
Northern Spanking
I Feel Myself.com
Zille, what a great dream, when you start dreaming like that then you know that you truly are what you live.
Mel often dreamed about us, she was always the submissive.
And dear girl, of course you’re unique and beautifully so!!! Big smile
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Zille, did you always have this longing to belong to someone else as a 24/7 slave or was there some sort of process you went through in coming to this realization about yourself?