Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘Blogroll’

A smart and fun spanko blogger named Graham (who is “a young American woman currently living in Eastern Europe”) has the cane on her mind. (And who doesn’t, really?!) In a recent post she demands:

So, be honest. Tell me what the cane does to you. No euphemisms, no down-playing the effects — and no exaggerating them, either. Or it’ll be canings for the lot of you!

Alright then! The truth, and nothing but the truth! (Although I still want my caning!)

A caning hurts. Quite a lot. It’s a white-hot slash of pure pain that shocks you upon impact … and then builds up and up until you think you may go crazy. And then, when it’s died down to the point when you are thinking that maybe sanity is an option again … the next stroke comes slashing down…!

And it’s the hottest, hottest thing in the whole wide world.
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Today two smart and eloquent people in my daily rss feed posted the following two posts, which for me showed up back-to-back, in this perfect symmetry. Enjoy!

From Pandora’s wonderful blog, a discussion of proposed revision to the DSM, “the official diagnostic list of mental disorders for medical practitioners in the US”…

The proposed revisions risk stigmatizing countless sane individuals with erotic tastes outside a strictly-sanctioned norm. They would lend credibility to those who wish to condemn or discriminate people on these grounds. They would also risk adversely affecting people who are happy in their alternative sexuality but seeking treatment for other mental health problems, by giving judgmental medical practitioners authority to mis-diagnose their sexual practices as being the source of the problem. Labelling any form of gender or sexual expression as a “mental disorder” has the potential to be hugely damaging, and ignores the vast spectrum of natural sexual and gender variation that exists in the world.

The Madhouse, 1812-15, Goya, Francisco…
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Then, Fyre has a wonderful post about “Transcending the Norm,”

After all, the ingredients in good S&M play–communication, respect and trust–are the same ingredients in good traditional sex. The outcome is the same, a feeling of connection to the body and the self. Practitioners’ of BDSM thus need to achieve, out of their dynamic, a relationship that produces coherence, which deeply affects each participant through a sense of shared experience within their system of beliefs.

Although people report that they have better-than-usual sex immediately after a scene, the primary goal of S&M itself is not intercourse: “A good scene doesn’t end in orgasm, it ends in catharsis.” It is in our acceptance of the sadistic or masochistic aspects of human nature and their expression rather than repression that provides the cathartic catalyst.

Inherent in our nature is the desire to improve and better ourselves. The process of exceeding our current limitations may be referred to as “self-transcendence.” Self-transcendence embodies the human spirit’s capacity to go beyond our previous achievements, it can apply to any aspect of our being; the physical self-transcendence of running faster; the mental self-transcendence of going beyond self imposed limitations. Anyone who strives for greater perfection and a higher perspective is practicing a form of self-transcendence.

I think Fyre’s quote from Joseph Campbell (The Power of Myth dude):

I think we are seeking the experience of being alive, so that our life’s experience on a purely physical plane will have resonance within our own innermost being and reality, so we actually feel the rapture of being alive. That’s what it is all finally about, and that’s what these clues help us find within ourselves.

and his final thoughts:

The deeper the understanding we have of the dynamics of this complex and beautiful form of human expression, the more our ceremonies, rituals and celebrations will reflect the deepest wisdom and understanding our unique culture has to offer, and the more our shared moments will reflect us, in all our differences.

really should be read by the people working on the DSM, before they make hasty decisions that could effect the lives of so many people!

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Sorry to have gone MIA this past weekend: I was at my “Kissing Cousin’s” wedding, and I left the computer at home, and even forgot my cell phone recharger, so I was truly unplugged for the first time in long while.

My KC is a perv, as is her wonderful new hubby, but it was a vanilla wedding due to the large amount of relatives and work-mates. However, my Master and I were part of a bunch of “perv friends” of the couple (Ted-n-Di, Tim and his “Northernwench,” Midori and Kelly, Natalya and TB, Cyppie and Kayte) and we got seated at the “children’s table” for the reception (i.e., they quite rightly kept us away from the ‘nilla grown-ups!) and we all got kicked out of the hotel bar after the reception (wandering away with our glasses of champagne in hand!) and took up residence in the hotel lounge (with fireplace) getting up to all sorts of shocking behaviours (and we have the pictures to prove it)!

A funny moment was when my Master lifted me up in his arms on the dance floor — I was squealing with delight — and then I felt a hand give a heavy thwack to my bottom — I leaned back to smile at whichever friend had done it, and found myself looking at a horrified Northernwench, who had totally forgotten (and had just suddenly painfully remembered!) that she wasn’t at some fetish event, where hauling off and slapping your mates bottoms was the order of the day! We assured her it was okay, and I really don’t think anyone noticed. Anyway, as the drinking continued, we all got rather rowdier, anyway. There was much fondling of people, and sitting on various people’s laps, and Tim got hauled out onto the dance floor by my Master and Ted, carried on his chair!

And, on the bus-ride home, the back of the bus was filled up with us pervs, and I really don’t think we were discussing things like the local dungeons and upcoming fetish/BDSM events all that quietly…. (Happily, most of the vanilla folk seemed A.) pretty drunk, and B.) a number of them were pretty loud even before the drinking began, so I think while we were all certainly noted and numbered as being “odd,” we didn’t actually shock or horrify anyone!)

While I was AFK for the weekend, the question of the Spanko Brunch over at My Bottom Smarts was:

Suppose you learned through an accidentally overheard telephone conversation that a coworker (someone with whom you cordially deal every day, but not a close friend) has a more than casual interest in adult spanking. No one else in the workplace knows and the person doesn’t know that you know.

Since I’d just been in a group of perverts (spankos, latex-lovers, kinksters of all stripes) within a larger group of vanilla wedding goers, this question really struck home, and reminded me of a very awkward moment in the last job I had. Although it was for a big publishing company, my mother was also working there and was pretty much my direct boss, and the whole office of my fellow workers were friendly with her, so it was not just a vanilla work situation, but a family one to boot!

One day I was in the office around the end of a Friday, and a co-worker said she would be watching Secretary that weekend, and asked if anyone had seen it. Now I, of course, have seen it a gazillion times, and have much to say on the matter, but I sat tight and kept my mouth shut as the people in the cubicles around me chatted about their opinions about the movie, and spanking in general! There was no way I was going to say the things that were running through my mind! Not only could my mom have walked in at any point in time, but anything I said would certainly have gotten back to her!

I do wonder if I’d just been working in a non-family situation, whether I would have admitted to seeing and liking the movie…? I like to live as “out” as possible about my life (as long as it doesn’t offend or upset those around me — I think it’s lovely to be able to be open, but at the same time people certainly have the right to NOT know about my sex life if they don’t want to!) but of course we have all heard stories about people loosing jobs and etc. because of their bosses/co-workers finding out about their home lives.

It can be hard, sometimes, even for me, to have a sexuality that is not part of the accepted “norm,” and to have to hide parts of my life.

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The endlessly delicious Miss Maggie Mayhem has an article up at carnalnation.com: Burning Up for Bondage. Before we get any further, however, let’s review Maggie’s lovely breasts, shall we…?

Okay, keeping those dual bits o’ perfection in mind, read this snippet from her article….

This is the part of the story where I try to explain a poor decision without seeming like a complete moron. What I am about to describe to you is a situation that has most people wondering how someone could do something so extraordinarily stupid. I’m going to do my best to rationalize things, but I knew better. I assumed it would end badly, and I did it anyway. I shall accept all mockery with whatever dignity and grace I can muster.

The best thing I could find at the gas station was a patch kit with rubber cement. We all remember rubber cement, don’t we? I looked back fondly upon the often-used glue of my childhood and figured that it would work out just fine. This was the very thing I used to make collages and homemade models of the solar system. Maybe it would sting a little, but how bad could it really be? Surely it couldn’t feel worse than a single-tail whip or wintergreen alcohol applied immediately after a play piercing. I would use the rubber cement; the crisis would be averted; the photos would have my pasties; and everyone would be happy. It’s not like I was going to be completely comfortable at a bondage shoot anyway.
Is anyone here familiar with a chemical burn? I’m not talking about an unpleasant tingling. I’m talking about a volatile reaction to a caustic substance that results in tissue damage. I look calm in those photos, but my mind was incoherently full of expletives. How shall I describe the sensation? It was like fire ants chewing their way through my skin. Or maybe a cheese grater doused with mace. Silly model, I thought, putting vanity before anything else.

I wasn’t a little irritated or slightly raw. The end result was pretty ugly, and I will spare you the unfortunate details. As a model, my true success for the day is that you can’t see that ugliness in the pictures. We were making erotic photos, not a PSA about the dangers of putting harsh chemicals on sensitive parts of your body. I forced myself to focus on things like glaciers or the freezer aisle at a grocery store until I finally got word that all the photographers had gotten their shots and I could get dressed. Nothing seemed to soothe me until someone showed me a preview of the content we made. It was a painful experience, to be sure, but the photos were fabulous. Even as I was still rubbing my poor sore nipples, I felt confident that it had been worth it. The pain would go away eventually, but the pictures would endure….

This is just a snippet of the excellent article, but you need to click over for more reasons than that simple one. CarnalNation pays their contributors, but it’s based on how many people read their contributed articles! So if you like Maggie (or me, since I really like Maggie) please just click over and help out!

(Oh, and for those of you who may be worried about the current state of Maggie’s nips — they looked fine when I got my hands (and, errr, mouth) on them last Wednesday) but it was quite dark in Bondage A Go Go — so since she is coming over tomorrow, I will make sure to examine them even more closely!)

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Friends Award

(from: toothpastefordinner.com)

Kaya just awarded me with a Friends Award. I feel like I’m up on stage at the Oscars, and I’m trying not to cry and say something like, “And I thank my family, and my fans, but most of all I thank God!”

These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.

The Rules to accepting this award: “Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

Like Kaya, I find that “my problem is in only getting to choose eight out of so many deserving writers”! The following are in no certain order:

1. Miss Maggie Mayhem (And no, sweetie, you’re not just getting this because you’re that kind of friend with benefits!)

2. Adele Haze, whom I think is just So Damn Cool!

3. SpankBoss from Spanking Blog, whom I know I’d have a blast with if we hung out IRL!

4. Thomas S. Roche who always has such cool stuff up on his blog, and who needs to hang out with me now that he can’t claim that his job is making him too busy!

5. Pandora Blake who I don’t know half well-enough, but anyone who wrote this must simply be a friend I haven’t properly met, yet!

6. Abel and Haron at The Spanking Writers, whom I totally need to hang out with sometime when my Master takes us across the pond!

7. Niki Flynn, who wrote the amazing Dances with Werewolves, and who keeps dancing with werewolves and other scary monsters in her “Not Blog.”

8. Fyre’s jewel` (and by extension, Fyre!) I’m not sure when I first met these two awesome people, some years ago now, but they have been a part of my blogging life ever since, and I’m very glad! Well, except for Fyre’s evil puns…! [jewel`'s blog is private, but darn it, I wanted her on my list! So you can all just assume her blog is fabulous!]

I decided when I started this list to leave my LiveJournal friends off, because it made doing the list so much easier (and it’s not an unnatural demarcation, because journals and blogs are different things.) But I’d like to give a “shout out” to all my friends on LJ who write as passionately about their lives as anyone on WordPress or Blogger. There’s too many of you to list, but you know who you are!!!

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