Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘childhood influences’

Hey all my lovely readers!

I’m afraid this week I’m pretty much entirely going to be hijacked by my new job (it will get better, soon, but at the moment there’s too much to do, and they want some results to poke at, which I totally understand) so I will be on the computer, but not so much up here. I’m not even really on my twitter, although it is sometimes easier to send out 140 characters while I’m stuck in public transportation and have some time to kill!

In the meantime, I have a task for you lot. Kaya just posted a questionnaire on her blog, and since I like her lots, I took the time to respond. One is supposed to repost such things on their own blog, but this meme isn’t exactly kink-related so I didn’t want to take up too much room with it over here.

However, some of you like it when I expose intimate details about myself (although I think the ones of you who don’t post replies tend to prefer those details in picture form…) so I’ll put the questions and my own responses under the cut.

Your job is to reply to either my kink-related question, or the meme, or both! (I’ll be happy with any results!)

The question is: What experience/revelation led you to figure out you were into spanking, etc?

Here’s the meme: Read the rest of this entry »

When I was a kid, anything that had spanking in it would have my immediate attention. Even a small reference to it would take a book from a “read once,” to a “cherish and read often.” The 1916 book about two twins living in prehistoric times, The Cave Twins, had a special place on my bookshelf, and a page surreptiously marked with the slightest of dog-ears (it happened by accident, obviously!) where the cave twins, Firetop and Firefly, get in trouble. This bit of text is what tantilized me so:

” Where did you come from, you naughty little weasels?” cried Limberleg angrily.

“From the cave,” said Firefly. “We followed you because we want to see what lies beyond the blue hills across the river, too. And if you are going to spank us, please do it right away, because we are awfully hungry.”

“Oh, no,” cried Firetop. ” You needn’t do it now if you’d rather not! Couldn’t you put it off until we get home again? We’re willing to wait, and you’d have more time then.”

Limberleg and Hawk-Eye didn’t discuss the matter. They sat right down on the log and began. Limberleg took Firefly and Hawk-Eye took Firetop, and they spanked and spanked.

“Now, can we have something to eat?” sniffled Firetop when it was over. Limberleg looked at Hawk-Eye.” We can’t send them back alone,” she said. Firetop saw that they were going to give in.

“The hyenas would surely get us,” he said plaintively. ” We’re pretty small to go back alone,” sobbed Firefly.

Another book that was a guilty pleasure (this had a small grubby bit of once-white pipe-cleaner stuck inside it, on the same, “I have no idea how that got there — it must have fallen in! It’s certainly not a bookmark!” principle) was a book of poems called A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein. I can’t find the text of the poem online, but I have read it so often I still think I can remember it:

Johnnie built a guillotine
and tried it on his sister Jean
said mother running with the mop
these messy games have got to stop!

Now, I know this has nothing to do with spanking, but beside the poem was an illustration of Jean on her hands and knees, head in the “lunette” of the guillotine, blade still high, and Johnnie with a look of pure boyish sadism on his face (and in the background, mother running with the mop and bucket!). Why did I like this enough to mark the spot in the book where I could find it? It was Jean’s postion: on her hands and knees, in bondage. I couldn’t look at that image enough!

But then there was the real smut of my childhood. They were two books from a series by Dare Wright, about a doll who is adopted by a bear, that my mom had bought for me, approved for children by various children’s book associations and concerned mothers everywhere. The first book is The Lonely Doll. In these first two images from it, you can see immediately my attraction…

Okay, so how could a kid who was titillated at the very mention of spanking resist these images, I ask you?! The second is obvious (although further improved by the text that goes beneath it: ” ‘I may be a silly’, Mr. Bear answered, ‘but I know when a naughty little girl needs a spanking.’ “) but even the first, with the paternal Mr. Bear holding that ruler, that was just up my alley. Or, rather, helped me build my alley!
The spankings continue in the next book Read the rest of this entry »

Here is a favorite Tom and Jerry cartoon. Why, you ask, would I post this on my spanking blog? Well, this cartoon always leaves me somewhat aroused, as many elements in this turned me on when I was kid…

It does have all the fetish and discipline elements you could hope for! Spanking and other CP in the form of forced castor oil consumption, infantilism, humiliation, etc.

This one cartoon really informed my sexuality. I latched on immediately to the spanking, since I was aroused by spanking since earliest memory, but the scene with the goldfish being put Jerry’s diaper also stuck in my mind, and so ever since, I like the idea of kinky things being put in one’s knickers as punishment: a lotion that makes you tingle and burn, or a bit of ginger or a butt-plug put in your bottom, and then the pants pulled up and you have to walk around like that. (But NOT goldfish. I just wouldn’t go there!)

I actually remember watching this on TV as kid, as a clear, specific memory. Many things associated with spanking are clear memories from my childhood, from which so much else is hazy and general. I’ll be going over other influences over the next few days … but for further reading, here is a letter I wrote to my Master when we were still in the first months of seeing each other, talking about some of my early influences…. (Here’s another related letter to my Master, and here’s a recent post on some later influences….)