Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘Classic Spanking’

From deep, deep in the archives of the blog — August 10, 2005 to be precise! — I pull out to share with you lot one of the first things I wrote to Mr. Defeu — from before I had my very first caning! He had left me with two DVDs of Classic Spanking videos that I was to watch (this was, obviously, from before we were living together, and he was travelling constantly back then) and report on to him. Thinking about it, I never have finished watching all those videos — I think perhaps I really should finish that assignment, all these years later! What do you think?

And now for the Way-Back Machine….

My thoughts and emotions on A Private Punishment are going to be based on the memories that stuck best with me in the several days since I saw it, since this assignment was not given to me until after I had viewed the video.

First, I’ll go over the funny ones, to get them out of the way. I laughed aloud at the beginning when the guy threatened, “I’ll sack the lot of you.” That was great! And Angela’s hair alternately amazed and frightened me (not in the good erotic way we’ll see later in this report.) The most amusing moment was when he offered her the liniment, and I (I had obviously gotten rather engrossed in the film) cried out, “Don’t do it, Angela, it will make it sting worse!” The only thing that could beat this (errr, so to speak) was when they both moved in such a way that the liniment bottle was un-obscured for the first time in the film – and turned out not to be a prescription healing salve – but Johnson’s Baby Oil!

But, funny stuff aside, actually, now that I think back on the film I realize I remember many details (I was about to re-watch it to refresh my memory, but I have realized I do not need to – images, moments from the film are burned into my brain.)

The main things I enjoyed about the film were the punisher and Angela. I was impressed by both of them, for complimentary reasons. He was very deliberate, very calm and purposeful. He would leave his hand on her, to comfort her and let her know he was still in control, and that really made the video much more real and arousing.

Angela – honestly, I was just plain impressed with her. First she was a very realistic nurse. I thought her acting was stilted until a moment where he said, “Are you going to lay over my lap or do I have to force you,” and she just quietly said, “You will not force me,” and she was compliant and obedient to his will from that moment on. I had been hoping, “Make him force you!” because I always like to see the physical tussling, and the moments of fighting the punishment before the pain (or something else) makes the bottom finally give in and submit to her fate. But there was something so graceful about how Angela just submitted; as deliberately as he was taking control she was giving it up.

And of course, I am in totally awe of how Angela took her punishment. Well, for the spankings she couldn’t hide her smile – you could tell she liked them! And with the tawse you could see her sinking into “sub space.” But the most impressive – of course – was the caning. Oh, I hope to take a caning like she does, some day. I don’t know what I’ll do (the first time[s]) , but I imagine it will involve lots of noise and emotion. Angela simply – well, expelled the pain. You saw it go through her whole body and come out her mouth in a breath of release. She made noise, but it wasn’t too much noise – it was still deliberate, she was still in control of herself, even as she submitted to his will.
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An awkward moment at Shadow Lane this past weekend: I was talking to some people, and made some unserious comment as to how much I wasn’t looking forward to a spanking (or something similar) and the person turned, concerned, to me and said, “But you do like to be spanked?!”

As with most awkward social situations, I made a joke* and rolled my eyes and said, “Oh, I’d hate to get spanked. That would just be terrible!” and this elicited minor chuckles and thankfully everyone moved on.

But it does bring me back yet again to my confusion with people in the scene who insist they hate spankings. (Apologies if you are one of the above – I’m not dissing you, just trying to wrap my head around this matter!) Why, if you hate to be spanked, are you at an expensive, weekend-long spanking party? (Or writing a spanking blog, or any other indication of a deep interest in all things spanking.)

When I first moved from BDSMville to the spankosphere, my attitude was the usual one you’d find in a dungeon: masochism is gooooood – in fact, the people who get the most “respect” in that scene are the serious pain sluts who could basically be skinned alive and would yet orgasm repeatedly during the process.

Imagine my confusion, upon entering the spankosphere, to come across people proclaiming loudly that they would do just anything to get out of the upcoming spanking – it was a complete and total paradigm shift, and, as you can see, I’m still not fully comprehending things.

At first I thought that it was just very extended roleplay – I mean, even BDSM folks can do scenes where they pretend, “Oh, don’t hit me with that mean old riding crop, anything but that!” So maybe, I wondered, the people who say they don’t like a spanking are just staying in that game all the time. Which is fine for them, but I would wish they’d wear a button, so I’d know what game we were all playing, the best to fit into any given spanko social situation. (I’m not sure what this button would say – suggestions welcome!)

But in the years since I’ve moved here (Years? When did that happen?) I’ve found some spanko neighbours who are as unabashedly enthusiastic as any whips-n-chains-er. So whatever reality some people are residing in, we aren’t all in the same one together. This is confusing for me – and I invariably get things wrong and joke about not wanting spankings with the happy masochists, and then boast about enjoying a recent thrashing with the no-ouchie-for-me folks. I do not like this. Being socially ept is hard enough for me as it is without people looking at me like I’ve sprouted eye-stalks off my forehead every time I talk about play.

After some conversations I’ve had since this most recent moment of social confusion, I think I may be altering my original notion about the “living the fantasy” concept. (So those of you who were just reading to the end of this entry so you could post irate rejoinders, please hold on to that thought….)
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This would have been an “Educational Video Report” for Mr Defeu, except that I didn’t get to write it for him, due to being overworked by the jobby-job, and then, on Sunday, we watched the video together, from the CD of “Educational Videos” he made me over a year ago (how time flies!)

I must say, “Dr. Zubatski’s Treatment X is the best video of the bunch. The actors are hot (well, the girl, albeit very cute with a nice ass, does have scary “high hair” from the 80’s, but one soon begins to overlook it as the action commences…) and they are really “in character.”
The action progresses well, from light spanking to heavy spanking, to what I think was a martinet, to riding crop, to cane. And the pair are very comfortable with each other. I would assume they were a real-life couple, even.

I enjoyed the video so much that I didn’t make it to the end before masturbating to orgasm, last week while Mr Defeu was away.

Once he got home, I had an idea….

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Sir, I was doing okay on not missing you too much before I watched this. Now I long to hear your voice. I’d probably cry on the phone again, though.

I was going to wait until tomorrow to write up my thoughts on this video – but I am putting off even masturbation to write this all down – I have to. The cane lays over my lap as I write. (I don’t know why, but it is a comforting thing.)

Sir – this video made me cringe with almost every stroke. This was much less mental arousal than the previous film – but the physical reaction was exactly the same.

(Image from ClassicSpanking.com)

It started out so well. Just the kind of role-play I like: his doctor’s coat was a turn-on, as well as the thick-rimmed glasses. I have long craved and fantasized about not just a “test” scene like this, but an actual interrogation scene, so I was excited from the get-go.

I was happy with the length of the lead-in part of the film. I like a good storyline and this video was excellent for that.

When she was bent over the table, waiting for the first stroke, and he swished the cane through the air, my heart leaped into my throat. I can’t even describe the horror/fascination when he hit her for the first stroke and it came up so fast, so dark. That was when I knew I was in trouble.

I watched the rest, slack-jawed, in a sort of shock. About half-way through I paused it, went for a drink of water for my dry mouth, and then held the cane and stroked it. I told myself, “This cane will do that to you.” I tried to make myself feel it, not to try to talk myself out of wanting it, but to simply comprehend realistically what is going to happen. But I just liked touching it – it feels good and smooth in my hands. Just spending some time holding the cane calmed me down, although it seems very strange to me, not like a reaction I should be having at all.

The rest of the film was somehow easier. Flight officer Fennington kept kicking up, and moving her hands and head from where he wanted her to. My first reaction was, “I wouldn’t do that!” My response to myself was, “You fool, you’ll kick and raise up and protest as much or more than her!” I resolved the internal conflict by thinking that for the video it was simply good visuals to have her squirming around like that, and you simply won’t let me get away with as much as she did. I do not want to get away with anything, Sir. I want to learn how to, when you tell me not to move, hold still for the whole caning.

The one other thing that really got to me was how cold and clinical he was. Which of course, was his role in this video. But I think that would hurt me more than the caning. I know that when he ran his finger – just one – down her welts, oh, it was so terrible! It made me feel worse inside than the huge bruises that were forming on her cheeks. Yet, it was perfect – he was pretty perfect in the role (although the “name and rank” part was too short for my tastes; if I were in that scene, I think it would have helped me to have had to answer questions yelled at me, to be offered “this pain will end if you just tell us what we want to know,” etc. Being able to slip into the role more fully would have helped me deal with the pain and the … lack of my Master’s warm caring touch. Otherwise, why bother with a scene at all, why not just have at her with the cane and be done with it?) and I found myself having the same reaction to the coldness as the caning, in the end.

The cold shower part was disappointing, just an afterthought. (Not that I’d actually want to experience a cold shower — that would just make me give up and want to be cuddled in a warm blanket until I was the right temperature again!)

This film did not give me the “warm fuzzies,” like the other one did. (And who would have thought that a caning film would ever give me the warm fuzzies? – not me!) But it gave me something else: a goal.

To conclude, Sir: I come away from this film wanting to take a caning just like this from you, for you.

Brutal Examination	Six of the Best!
Truly sadistic caning	Thrown in a cold shower

(These images from video-on-demand site HotMovies.com)