Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘english vice’

I wanted to make sure that Saturday was less hectic than Friday, but I didn’t mean it to be so mellow that I missed the Punishment Book meeting! But I slept in late, and then Mr. Defeu and I had some nice morning sex, and by the time I realized what was going on (i.e, that the PB meeting as not on Sunday after all), we barely made it down in time for brunch with Mija, Paul, Rad, and Miss Cassandra. (Note, I see Rad has explained that he can only be mentioned “as long as it’s glowing bordering on gushing” – so he should consider himself thus described as shining brighter than a glow-in-the-dark Jesus, and gushing in a manner that would make Niagra falls jealous!)

Then Mr. Defeu and I chilled for a while, before he got called off to help the Northern folks with some errands, and I started my prepping for my outfit for that evening. To the right, a shot taken while hanging out pre-ball with Mija, Paul, Fireman Chris and Serenity, Iris and M, and Bailey.

• Black Satin Bullet Bra
• 6-Strap Garter Belt
• Pin-Up Girl Stockings
• 50′s Rockabilly Satin Dot Halter Dress
• Satin Bolero Jacket

(I’ve linked above to a nice dress that’s like the one I’m wearing, but the one I’m wearing is special because it’s loaned to me by the delicious Pandora. Although I may tell her if she wants it back she has to come to San Francisco and wrest it from my body personally!)

The dinner part of the evening was nice – and the food wasn’t bad; better than last year’s, I felt – and I basically played musical chairs moving around the table talking to people. And a whole bunch of San Franciscans stopped by to talk to me, which was so cool – of course, it is perhaps ironic that we had to go to Vegas to meet and/or get a chance to chat! My local peeps should feel free to stay in touch with me – we talked about lots of cool ideas for spanking parties and stuff!

My only complaint was that the music got cranked to 11 while I was trying to talk to people. I was already loosing my voice from all the talking and from the smoky air (it’s weird, after living in CA, to be in a place where there is smoking allowed indoors! My throat’s just not used to that sort of thing anymore!) and since there was only a small number of people shakin’ their booties, the volume seemed disproportionately loud. I would really prefer that there be a dance floor area, and an eating/talking area, and the music kept to background-level in the latter. If I want to go dancing, I’ll go dancing whether or not the music is turned up – and if I want to talk, having to shout over music just makes me cranky.

This increased volume encouraged most of my friends it was time to move on to suite parties Read the rest of this entry »

It’s going to be very hard to collect the memories of the wonderful Shadowlane Thursday through Monday, because there are A.) too many good ones, and B.) it’s all tending to melt together into a rosy-glowing blur of remembrance. Still, let’s see what we can do….

We arrived so late Wednesday night as to more accurately be Thursday morning. Thursday was spent chilling out and enjoying the fact that we were on holiday, whilst watching the spankos trickle in to the Suncoast Casino and Spanko Central. That evening involved hanging out with friends in this perfect combination of pre-party anticipation, happiness to see each other again, and relief to have a night of mellow chat that didn’t involve shouting over music before it all started up. If you’re going to SL and you can afford it time and/or money-wise, I really recommend this option.

That night, Mr. Defeu, obviously inspired by the companionship and discussion, bent me over his lap for a spanking, and then over the end of the bed for a taste of the belt. (Yummy, would be the taste! I really do love that belt.) Then a thank-you blowjob for him!

Friday day was a bit chaotic, as everyone was trying to get everything into place – people having suite parties were buying foods and beverages, last minute wardrobe alterations were taking place, etc. I was lucky enough to go along for the ride with Lucy Mclean and Bailey as they shopped at the Bettie Page store. It’s not every lucky girl who has able to to hang out with those two whilst they stripped down in a small room! I think I failed utterly at trying not to be lecherous.

I really could have used a disco nap when I got back, but it was time to start getting ready, myself! Here are some links for items from my outfit that evening:

• Bettie Page “Accountant” Dress
• Knee Length Petticoat
• Elegant Moments Sheer thigh-hi
• High Heel Mary Jane

I got lots of compliments! (Thank you to all who took a moment to say a kind word.) Although once the Northern Girls came in, they got pretty much all the attention for the rest of the night!

I got to catch up with friends, and meet lots of lovely people. It was very intense for me, socially, but that’s how that sort of thing always is for me. When I started doing this sort of thing in college (i.e. – hanging out in large groups of people I mostly didn’t know) it was because I was working at ManRay. And what I did there was to arrive before the club opened and get ready with my friends and fellow performers, and then spend all my time with them, much of it down in the green room. Then I would perform, which would be my real act of social bravery for the evening, but it would only last about 10 minutes! Or, if I was go-go dancing, I’d be up on a block, and sure people would be looking at me, but I didn’t actually really talk to them! After that was done, I’d be high on performance endorphins, and social interaction would seem so much less scary than being up on stage, that I’d simply not care so much about it. So, oddly, just walking around talking to people is actually harder for me, than getting up onstage in small amounts of clothing and doing kinky things in front of an audience!

Fireman Chris and Mr. Defeu and I went to a suite party after the vendors fair, and I finally got to formally meet Richard Windsor, which was wonderful and I hope to hang out with him again, but after a while I had to admit I was flagging, and so we went back to our room and snuggled into bed. Sleep was not immediately an option, as we happened to be placed next door to one of the biggest suite parties! The sounds of rhythmic slapping and cries of, well, if not pain, then some intense emotion, kept up for quite a while. (At one point someone seemed to be rhythmically lifting and dropping a piece of furniture as well – not sure what that was about, but hats off to them!) Happily, thanks to Mija and Paul, we happened to have QI on DVD, so we watched a couple episodes and by the end of the second one, things had mellowed out enough that we could drift off to sleep.

Part II tomorrow!

An awkward moment at Shadow Lane this past weekend: I was talking to some people, and made some unserious comment as to how much I wasn’t looking forward to a spanking (or something similar) and the person turned, concerned, to me and said, “But you do like to be spanked?!”

As with most awkward social situations, I made a joke* and rolled my eyes and said, “Oh, I’d hate to get spanked. That would just be terrible!” and this elicited minor chuckles and thankfully everyone moved on.

But it does bring me back yet again to my confusion with people in the scene who insist they hate spankings. (Apologies if you are one of the above – I’m not dissing you, just trying to wrap my head around this matter!) Why, if you hate to be spanked, are you at an expensive, weekend-long spanking party? (Or writing a spanking blog, or any other indication of a deep interest in all things spanking.)

When I first moved from BDSMville to the spankosphere, my attitude was the usual one you’d find in a dungeon: masochism is gooooood – in fact, the people who get the most “respect” in that scene are the serious pain sluts who could basically be skinned alive and would yet orgasm repeatedly during the process.

Imagine my confusion, upon entering the spankosphere, to come across people proclaiming loudly that they would do just anything to get out of the upcoming spanking – it was a complete and total paradigm shift, and, as you can see, I’m still not fully comprehending things.

At first I thought that it was just very extended roleplay – I mean, even BDSM folks can do scenes where they pretend, “Oh, don’t hit me with that mean old riding crop, anything but that!” So maybe, I wondered, the people who say they don’t like a spanking are just staying in that game all the time. Which is fine for them, but I would wish they’d wear a button, so I’d know what game we were all playing, the best to fit into any given spanko social situation. (I’m not sure what this button would say – suggestions welcome!)

But in the years since I’ve moved here (Years? When did that happen?) I’ve found some spanko neighbours who are as unabashedly enthusiastic as any whips-n-chains-er. So whatever reality some people are residing in, we aren’t all in the same one together. This is confusing for me – and I invariably get things wrong and joke about not wanting spankings with the happy masochists, and then boast about enjoying a recent thrashing with the no-ouchie-for-me folks. I do not like this. Being socially ept is hard enough for me as it is without people looking at me like I’ve sprouted eye-stalks off my forehead every time I talk about play.

After some conversations I’ve had since this most recent moment of social confusion, I think I may be altering my original notion about the “living the fantasy” concept. (So those of you who were just reading to the end of this entry so you could post irate rejoinders, please hold on to that thought….)
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Looking around for “spanked in girdle” on the net doesn’t yield much, I discovered today (when I should have been writing!) except for this amusing video (which lacks something in production value, but at least has nice lingerie!)

I’m finding the Mad Men theme of the upcoming Shadow Lane party very exciting. I have all my outer-wear taken care of. but I am a perfectionist and so I want all my unmentionables to be of the correct vintage as well! (And hey, who knows when your skirts will be flipped up at the party, and everyone in the room will be given a good view of your underclothes?!)

This is what I wish Mr. Defeu would buy for me. Please leave a comment and tell him he should get these for me — if he buys any of them, I’ll post pictures here of me wearing them!

Glamour Shape Wear Black Girdle	Harlow Vintage Peach French Knickers	Harlow Vintage Peach Bullet Bra
Glamour Shape Wear Black Corselette	Glamour Shape Wear Black Longline Bra

If you actually want to ensure me wearing these lovely items in a future photoshoot, you could always buy them for me yourself! Here they are in my wish list, which will send them directly to me!

Ages and ages ago I wrote about a scene Mr. Defeu and I did with Henry Higgens.

Well, he was not just kind enough to beat my ass to exotic new shades of black and blue, but he also shot am image of Mr. Defeu holding me afterwards. (I think he was grabbing my hair because I still had a bit of sass left in me, which I can only explain by assuming I have an inferior self-preservation instinct!)

I had planned to get the images up, but then they got misplaced (which is just as bad or worse when you’re dealing with bytes and pixels to loosing real world items). However, I just found the file they were in, and so here and now I finally get to share this image with you!
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