Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘Leia-Ann Woods’

It’s going to be very hard to collect the memories of the wonderful Shadowlane Thursday through Monday, because there are A.) too many good ones, and B.) it’s all tending to melt together into a rosy-glowing blur of remembrance. Still, let’s see what we can do….

We arrived so late Wednesday night as to more accurately be Thursday morning. Thursday was spent chilling out and enjoying the fact that we were on holiday, whilst watching the spankos trickle in to the Suncoast Casino and Spanko Central. That evening involved hanging out with friends in this perfect combination of pre-party anticipation, happiness to see each other again, and relief to have a night of mellow chat that didn’t involve shouting over music before it all started up. If you’re going to SL and you can afford it time and/or money-wise, I really recommend this option.

That night, Mr. Defeu, obviously inspired by the companionship and discussion, bent me over his lap for a spanking, and then over the end of the bed for a taste of the belt. (Yummy, would be the taste! I really do love that belt.) Then a thank-you blowjob for him!

Friday day was a bit chaotic, as everyone was trying to get everything into place – people having suite parties were buying foods and beverages, last minute wardrobe alterations were taking place, etc. I was lucky enough to go along for the ride with Lucy Mclean and Bailey as they shopped at the Bettie Page store. It’s not every lucky girl who has able to to hang out with those two whilst they stripped down in a small room! I think I failed utterly at trying not to be lecherous.

I really could have used a disco nap when I got back, but it was time to start getting ready, myself! Here are some links for items from my outfit that evening:

• Bettie Page “Accountant” Dress
• Knee Length Petticoat
• Elegant Moments Sheer thigh-hi
• High Heel Mary Jane

I got lots of compliments! (Thank you to all who took a moment to say a kind word.) Although once the Northern Girls came in, they got pretty much all the attention for the rest of the night!

I got to catch up with friends, and meet lots of lovely people. It was very intense for me, socially, but that’s how that sort of thing always is for me. When I started doing this sort of thing in college (i.e. – hanging out in large groups of people I mostly didn’t know) it was because I was working at ManRay. And what I did there was to arrive before the club opened and get ready with my friends and fellow performers, and then spend all my time with them, much of it down in the green room. Then I would perform, which would be my real act of social bravery for the evening, but it would only last about 10 minutes! Or, if I was go-go dancing, I’d be up on a block, and sure people would be looking at me, but I didn’t actually really talk to them! After that was done, I’d be high on performance endorphins, and social interaction would seem so much less scary than being up on stage, that I’d simply not care so much about it. So, oddly, just walking around talking to people is actually harder for me, than getting up onstage in small amounts of clothing and doing kinky things in front of an audience!

Fireman Chris and Mr. Defeu and I went to a suite party after the vendors fair, and I finally got to formally meet Richard Windsor, which was wonderful and I hope to hang out with him again, but after a while I had to admit I was flagging, and so we went back to our room and snuggled into bed. Sleep was not immediately an option, as we happened to be placed next door to one of the biggest suite parties! The sounds of rhythmic slapping and cries of, well, if not pain, then some intense emotion, kept up for quite a while. (At one point someone seemed to be rhythmically lifting and dropping a piece of furniture as well – not sure what that was about, but hats off to them!) Happily, thanks to Mija and Paul, we happened to have QI on DVD, so we watched a couple episodes and by the end of the second one, things had mellowed out enough that we could drift off to sleep.

Part II tomorrow!

So, when last we tuned in, our heroine was rubbing her sore bottom. No … wait … we have to rewind further back than that, to find out how she got said sore botty!

So, wearing only knickers, bra, and socks (was I wearing shoes? I have absolutely no recollection and we’ll have to wait until NSI releases the video to find out!), under the hot, bright lights, and I’ve just told Paul Kennedy and Stephen Lewis that I’m all ready to go, despite the fact that I’m quaking in my metaphorical boots (I’m pretty sure I wasn’t actually wearing boots, at least!).

Stephen settles down on the sofa to await my entrance, I go off camera and try to compose myself. I quickly review my dream in my head, trying to come to a last-minute understanding of what my character will act like – since she is going to be whinging and moaning, and need to be strapped for such annoying behaviour at each step of the way, I figure it’s time for a stubborn brat, sullen petulant teenager, who is letting her frustration with the situation get in the way of her sense of self-preservation. (As I recall from being a teenager myself, that was not hard to accomplish – what was hard to accomplish was to get past the boredom and aggravation of wanting things to be different and as-you-wished-they’d-be, and overcome that self-focus and unrealistic expectation and actually make reasonably good choices and decisions. And sometimes it was just all too difficult, and didn’t seem worth the effort at all!)

So, now girded about the loins with petulance and self-righteousness, I was ready to make my grand entrance. Of course, filming being what it is, it wasn’t quite yet time for me to enter stage right, because camera angles and blocking were still getting last-minute modifications, so I had to stand there, trying with body language to hold my character in place – the postures and attitudes of frustrated youth: foot taping, crossing and uncrossing arms over chest, eyes rolling, moving hands around in ways that express the utter boredom you have for everything and everyone. (However, I’m trying to do all of this in miniature; just enough to work for me, so that people don’t actually think I do feel that way!)

By the time everything had got sorted, I had managed to work my way far enough into my character to be as impatient and full of aggravation as possible, so I stormed onto camera with the full force of frustrated teenage energy in me.

I don’t know if Stephen Lewis was at all taken aback by this transformation, but he took it in professional stride, and not shortly thereafter we had worked out that I did not want to – would not! – put on the scratchy nylon gym knickers, and there was nothing for it but the strap. Of course!

It was an intense scene. And it was the first time that I’d worked with Stephen or NSI , so we were all walking the fine, fine line between getting them the best movie possible (my goal!) and me not getting seriously damaged or otherwise be overwhelmed (their goal!). I must say, though, that it’s not a bad way for a spanking film to be created: the model is more worried about giving the content producers the best film she can make, whilst the content producers are more concerned about taking care of the model. Indeed, I think that’s possibly the perfect way for a spanking film to come into existence!

Anyway, I won’t give more away. You have read my dream – so you’ve got the plotline – we stayed quite close to that, with Stephen adding his own touches, and me having fun with being a whingy spoiled little brat.

(I must admit that there is some small part of me that worries, when I play that role, that people are going to be horrified and think that’s really me! There is always the problem of people thinking that the characters you play really are who you are. And I like “playing a brat on TV,” but I’m really not comfortable being one in real life!)

I was a terribly realistic brat, however (memories of my teen years finally come in handy, which is more than most people can say for theirs!), which was undoubtedly the only reason why Stephen was so enthusiastic about strapping me!

After the end of the shoot, it was decided it was time to give my bottom some recovery time, and after a nice cuppa, Mr. Defeu and I took the crew down to the pub where they were staying, and we had a nice little walk around town (err, wee tiny village) whilst they dropped off their bags, etc. We came back and drinks ensued, and then dinner, and then more drinks as we couldn’t stop talking and laughing, and no one wanted the night to end.

Happily, despite that, I was able to get a full night’s sleep – I’d be needing it!

The next day we got the big video out of the way first: I was an overzealous coach (except that I had a whistle and never got to blow it! I should have done so right in the opening of the shoot. Damn, I hate missed opportunities!) and the ever-lovely Irelynn Logeen was one of my track students (she looked delish in tight blue gym knickers and what in the UK they call a “vest” and in the US we call “wife-beater” — yes, really) and it turns out that she had taken my “win at all costs!” philosophy a bit too close to heart, and had won in a unique method of cheating (you’ll have to watch the video to find out what it was!) and Stephen showed up to let us know that, as a judge, he knew about the cheating, and the only way he would feel that A.) we had learned out lessons and B.) thus not feel the need to let the rest of the judges and people in charge was to administer the correction personally. (He’s such a selfless man, so devoted to fair play!)

The next day was more low-key but just as fun. Irelynn and I did a set with her topping me (her first time wielding a riding crop!) as the Rich Man’s Bitchy Daughter archetype, and me as a poor maid who has to suffer at her hands.

Then a nice lunch (we really hadn’t had time the day before to do more than nibble, so I had lots of provisions left!) where we all sat ‘round and chatted and had just the loveliest of times.

One last shoot: Meester Stephen and me al fresco! I was in a pretty ‘50s dress (thank you, O Wonderful Pandora!) and vintage undergarments and stockings, and he was all James Dean in black t-shirt and jeans. It was just a sweet, romantic, out-door spanking over s stone wall. Happily, Paul trod down all the nettles, and didn’t decide to make them a part of the shoot! That would have been rather less romantic!

I was really torn at the end of the last shoot. I didn’t want the fun to end, didn’t want my friends to leave … but they had certainly put me to work, and I was sorta ready for a post-porn nap!

I’m writing this on the airplane, over a week after a wrote the first half of this post. (I had to stop off for five days with my family on the way home. My dad’s health isn’t great, and it seemed the best idea to get some time with him while I still can.) But the shoot is just as fresh in my mind as if I was writing this the same day of the shoot!

Lovely Pandora reminded me when we were hanging out that I have years of fetish, alt, and BDSM modelling under my belt – a career in which I should take pride. But, truth to tell, these days I really don’t even think about that past anymore. My focus is so much on the spanking world, it’s as if all that other stuff has faded away. And, since I’m not actively promoting myself in that world, in essence I have just faded away.

Spanko modelling and blogging is my world now. I was blogging in this brave new world [coughs] for some years before Mr. Defeu married me, but, in a way, it was he who “carried me over the threshold” of the spankoverse – except I was dressed in a schoolgirl uniform, not a fancy wedding dress! (The big fancy wedding dress did come later!)

These shoots with dear Olivia and the wonderful NSI crew have reminded me (not that I needed it, but still it was appreciated) that I’m a proper spanko now, that this is my chosen tribe. The friendships I’ve made since joining up (“Proud Member since 2005!”) have been profoundly notable in that I over and over again feel like I’m reuniting with a beloved old friend, not meeting a new one. That’s so rare, and all you lovely spankos should now pat yourselves on the back and feel quietly superior to the rest of humanity. (I joke, but only by exaggerating a wee little bit!)

Now the waiting begins for NSI to release the photos and videos. Want to see, want want want!

Actually, the title of this should be, Shooting with Leia-Ann Woods, and Irelynn Logeen, and Stephen Lewis, and Paul Kennedy. (And of course, my Mr. Defeu, who wasn’t able to be on-camera, but was still very much a part of the shoot.) Because it was like that: it felt less like a spanking shoot, and more like two wonderful days with kinky friends. Whenever NSI wants me back, I’m soooooo ready to shoot with them again. (Erm, well, better let my bottom heal up a bit first. I’m sitting rather gingerly* at the moment!) And if I get a change to work with (or, just hang out with) Irelynn, Leia, or Stephen, I’m so there!

Truth be told, this is actually the second wonderful shoot with lovely people. Last Friday, we hung out with Olivia Manners and Pandora for an (all-too-short) day of spanking, cider, and fine company. It was a private commission spanking film, so you lot won’t get to see it (you’ll just have to ask me to make your own private spanking film!) but the naughty Pandora snapped a picture of one of the punishment scenes, so you’ll at least have a tantalizing hint of it.

I could talk about that lovely afternoon for pages and pages, but Pandora has done a much better job of it than I could ever do….

I felt extremely pleased with myself, if more than a little sleazy and voyeuristic – Malc, at least, was making himself useful manning the camera, while I was just curled in a comfy chair, swigging cider out of the bottle and appreciating the view. But what a view! Zille has the most delightful little hip-wriggle while she’s over the knee – an arch of her back and lift of her slender hips which twists her wonderfully shapely bottom around in ways I could watch all day.

(Can I just say how incredible it is to read things like that post of Pandora’s? To have such an amazing girl write such complimentary things about me … I must have done something very right! Possibly it’s due to surrounding myself with such good, positive people. Also possibly it’s the reward for being honest with oneself about one’s desires – the majority of the spanko scene that I’ve met have all been really lovely people. Hang out with perverts, and life is much better!)

But right now I’m fresh from the NSI shoot, and should capture my thoughts and feelings while they are still, ahem, spankin’ new. (And I’ll get up pictures from the shoot(s) as they make them available to me.)

I was quite nervous when everyone arrived. I know everything thinks I’m so out-going and sociable, but the fact of the matter is that’s just an exterior I wear to cover up my shyness and introversion. (I’ve learned over the years that it’s better for me to force myself to get out and make friends and then do things with them, and to go out to clubs and places full of strangers and make merry. I’m a bouncier, brighter person when I overcome the urge to hide away from the world and just read fantasy novels and watch Star Trek.)

It wasn’t just the nervousness related with social interaction. I was about to do a shoot with Northern Spanking Institute! No matter how excellent their reputation for the consideration of their models, there are few models who don’t have at least a wee bit of trepidation going into a spanking shoot, especially with someone you’ve never shot with before. So I wasn’t nervous (petrified, I honestly assume I’d be!) like I was going to do a shoot with Lupus Spanking Studios, but I was still filled with that anxious energy that makes you feel all jangly and like you’ve had one too many cups of coffee.

The start-off set was Irelynn and me in matching schoolgirl uniforms, girlie-fighting from top and bottom bunk beds. (She started it! She pulled my hair!) It was an excellent choice to get everyone comfortable with each other and ready for two days of shooting together. Both Irelynn and I could easily get into the badly-behaved-schoolgirl mode, and Stephen could easily get into disciplining-said-badly-behaved-schoolgirl mode, and both Paul and Leia-Ann took turns shooting/directing so I got a sense for working with both of them. Seeing such good plannng in action makes a model immediately feel even more comfortable.

Then it was on to the “Estate Agent Shoot” (“Estate Agent” always puts me in mind of the Fry and Laurie skit!). Irelynn and Stephen were the stars of this (always a joy to watch them in action), whilst I was the surprised estate agent who witnesses such filth. (Shocking, I tell you! Just shocking!)

Then a quick still set of Irelynn and I as sisters who were called down in our sleep clothes (obviously being sent to be quite early!) for a punishment of OTK spanking and a caning. In retrospect, a strange thing was that I sort of naturally assumed I was the older sister, but Irelynn was the one holding my hand and comforting me in many of the images. I must be a seriously wussy older sister! Also in retrospect, I don’t think we ever came up with any good reason why this punishment was happening – Stephen was just very disappointed and upset with us, and we were very sorry little girls even before it started!

Then … what we’d been leading up to … a bigger, more intense scene. Paul had chosen one of my blog entries as the plot line – it was somewhat surreal to me, especially right as the scene was about to start, that something I’d once actually dreamed was now about to actuate in a very real way! Those minutes after getting dressed, and then realising I needed to get undressed because of how the storyline played out, and then standing and waiting for the scene to start, in my bra and knickers under the bright lights as everyone hustled around me, those were the most nerve-wracking minutes of the day. Both Paul and Stephen asked me if I was ready to begin. It was exactly the same as when someone disciplining you asks if you are ready for your corporal punishment, or when you are about to take your turn in a competition; you have two answers: “Of course I’m not!” and, “Oh gods, let’s just get this over with!” – and neither of them are the right answers, so you try not to let anyone see you gulp, and assure them, “Oh, yes, absolutely!” even though you’ll never actually really be ready! (This utter lack of readiness then has absolutely nothing at all to do with how you do. It’s just that being ready to start will probably never come from inside you – other people’s expectations are the nudge you need to make the change from, “It’s about to happen…” to “OMFG! It’s happening!”

Okay, this entry has entirely gotten out of hand – I really didn’t mean it to be so long! I’ll continue tomorrow from this point….

(And yes, I know I haven’t done a post since the dinosaurs stomped the earth. But, happily, again Pandora has done a far better job at writing than me, so I direct you to her excellent post: Breaking the Seal. I feel this gets me out of any explanations or apologies, which actually means I’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programme with much greater alacrity! So, hah, you can’t complain!)

*Gingerly is perhaps a wrong word to use in the company of perverts. People might get ideas, when all I mean is that I have a sore bottom!

And now: Shooting with Northern Spanking Institute Part Two!

I’ve been away from this blog too much recently, a combination of travel, holidays, and some poor health, and it’s been taking me forever to catch up with my friends in the spankosphere. But the fault is not mine! So many blogs have been pouring out really brilliant stuff recently.

First up, I’m totally jealous of Adele Haze, who did a kinky 12 Days of Christmas. That’s just the hottest thing ever. (And, unlike Leia-Ann Woods, I am still a “a spanking virgin of 2010” so when I say I’m jealous, I really mean it!)

Spankingblog.com posted the coolest Krampus picture as his Christmas gift to us this year. Thanks!

Kami did a scene with HH which gave her the wondrous revelation about herself as a spanko. While I personally would like to be left alone while I exercise (it hurts enough, thankyouverymuch, and when I work out I’m just focused on moving my body correctly or if it’s yoga, maintaining proper alignment, so I don’t need painful distractions) I agree with Kami that yes, everyone wants to see girls in gym shorts take a caning. At least my Master does, and his tastes have not just rubbed off on mine — completely supplanted (or at least modified) most of my fantasies.

EmmaJane visited a very dark fantasy recently. It really worked for me! (Although if you have abuse issues, I don’t recommend you try it – it’s all-too well-written.)

And The Spanking Writers always set a high standard, but even they have been sharing the most brilliant stuff recently. The pencil between the teeth story, for one, and a Christmas spanking, and then … well, I was totally bowled over when they honoured me with “Hottest Kinky Blog” in their The 2009 Spanking Writers Awards. I still haven’t thanked them properly, and honestly I don’t really know how – it means so much to me!