Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘our story’

My how time has flown! But they say time flies when you’re having fun, and boy golly, are we ever having fun!

Back on the 15th, Maggie Mayhem came over for a long awaited day. Both “work” (haha) and play were on the schedule. The “work,” as you can see, was us recording some videos. Since Maggie had just had a big adventure, we talked about that, first. Then, I realized we needed an opening for all the videos we’ll be doing together … and I know this will surprise you, but the first thing that came to my mind was a spanking!

After the intro was shot, I asked what we wanted to all do next: work or play? Maggie pouted prettily and said, “I don’t want any more work!” (If she’d been standing up I imagine she would have stomped her foot, as well!) and thus it was decided to put the video camera away and get to it.
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Kaya did a very teasing post today, and since I like to blame everything on kaya (in hopes of increasing her punishments, because I love reading about them!) I shall be a terrible tease today as well … which will not only be fun for me, but will make you all want to spank me, and I can only imagine that having lots of people thinking spanko thoughts at me can bring nothing but goodness to my day! [Please just assume that I am grinningly teasingly throughout this whole post]

Yesterday, a certain young lady came to our abode. We shot some video and stills of various activities. I’ll be working on processing them today (which might be a more concrete reason for keeping this post short…. Or not, and I’m just being a tease because I can!)

I will say that one of my favourite moments of yesterday (of which there were many) was when my Master was coming in my mouth, whilst I was being finger-fucked and pussy-spanked by the hot schoolgirl behind me. And to see the whole tableaux, all I had to do was glance to my left, where the floor-to-ceiling mirrored sliding closet doors are!

How did it all start? Who possibly got the cane, and who may have gotten the tawse on her palms? How did it all end…? Feel free to beg, plead, or threaten to get more details!

I‘m resurrecting this entry because it seems to have gotten lost in the archives, and I’m about to write a whole bunch more about anal sex, so I thought I’d go over my previous thoughts on the matter. This is from an email to my Master, dated September 9, 2005….

From: Sexand submission.com

Dear Master,

Oh, so much has happened since the last time I posted up here! So many wonderful things for me … but the most wonderful is that I am pleasing you, that you are not disappointed with my progress, and that you want to do more with/to me!

Tonight I shall write about a topic that has been on my mind very frequently since you brought it up, the other night on the phone. Anal sex. Wheeee! – I never get tired of the naughty thrill of saying/typing that!

Here is my history with it, Sir, as of course such a topic can always yield amusing results!

Anal sex was a far from my mind as possible when I first started having sex. I know it must have been giggled about by me and my friends at some point, but I was as generally oblivious to it as someone who just doesn’t think about something can be. It was not even an option, in my mind.

When I was dating I— , he asked me if I would do him a sexual favour (and, I said, “Yes, of course, dear, what can I do for you?!”) and that was when he asked for either anal sex or me to shave my pussy. You know which I chose! I told I— at the time, and I meant every word of it, that “I will never have anal sex!”

Which is what I told C— , he being the next boyfriend. He said he was entirely fine with limiting our sex-life to oral and vaginal delights.

He laughed so hard that if he had not fallen out of bed I would have pushed him, when, a year or so later, I asked him to fuck me in the ass, please!

What happened to change my mind so drastically? Two things: Pat Califia (again, making such a huge imprint on my life) and porn. By this point in time I was rooming with R— , and she and I routinely rented porn flicks to do running commentaries over. At first I was horrified by seeing the seemingly all-too-huge cocks ramming into the all-too-small anuses. But, after a while, it occurred to me that if so many women were doing it, it could not be quite so bad as I was making it out to be! (And the Pat Califia book had anal fisting in it, which did sort of put the whole thing into perspective: “Wow! If a fist can go up there, a cock’s not so bad!”)

So that night, once C— got done rolling on the floor laughing at me and I stopped pouting about being laughed at, we got to it. I have to say for C— that he was always a careful and dedicated lover: therefore, perfect for a first-try at anal. We got the lube, and he got worked his way up to having three fingers up there with me really enjoying it. And then, figuring we’d stretched things out nicely, he tried his cock. No go. A real unpleasant pain came up immediately, and my first instinct was: Get It Out Now!

And it was like that for years. I’d really get off on any number of fingers digitally stimulating me back there, even quite vigorously, but trying later with other lovers yielded continuing unsuccessful results.

Meanwhile, butt-plugs were great! Vibrating or not!

It has been in the past two years that I have come to love the feeling of a cock pushing deep into my ass. The factor that brought results: I suddenly realized that I could play with my clitoris at the same time as being fucked in the ass!

With the pleasurable sensations running outwards from my clit, suddenly the “stretching” sensations in my ass that seemed to occur the most during penile-anal sex and which I had always perceived as painful – became pleasure as well. And the moments in the beginning, when it can seem just “all too much,” before you are opened up enough … while I was rubbing my clit, that pain became a turn-on instead of a turn-off.

Being a “lesbian” (that is, “bisexual in a long-term relationship with a woman”) had really done something weird for my sexuality! When I was sleeping with guys originally, the things that turned me on were … well, mostly, me getting some nice orgasms. But after a period of not sleeping with men, followed by a period of wanting to sleep with men again but feeling pressured not to (A. really was never comfortable with me sleeping with guys, so it was easier to take female lovers — we could share that way, anyway!) and so voraciously re-reading my Victorian erotica and White Shadow’s Nasty Stories (now sadly defunct), I had now become really excited about the idea of guys coming inside me. (I think that in high school I had been so worried about pregnancy that I thought sex was much hotter if all that nasty sperm was contained in a nice latex condom…!)

But now my fantasies couldn’t get hotter than being a Victorian girl who was just coming-of-age, and whose father/brother/uncle took it upon themselves (selfless gentlemen that they were!) to teach me the ars amours. Of course, being gentlemen, they would worry about getting their darling daughter/sister/niece pregnant, so they could twiddle my little quim with their big masculine digits all they liked, but their cocks always ended up in my arse….

And other fantasies. Years of nightly fantasies. I could go on for pages and pages just giving brief outlines! But, most relevant to this topic, suddenly I could care less about my pussy. That was where I was generally getting fucked, but in my mind I was only being fucked in the ass – thinking about anything else wouldn’t even come close to getting me off!

UPDATE: As of today, my fantasies remain anal in theme. In my head, I pretty much only get vaginally-penetrated if something else (ginger, anyone?!) is already stuck up my bottom! And, of course, I’ve learned to appreciate the pains of anal sex, even more than the pleasures: indeed, they have become the pleasure, for me!

Most of my blog posts recently have been ruminations/discussions about punishment and discipline. Well, this weekend, my Master put those ideas and notions into practice!

Discipline from Kink On Demand

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This is the post I’ve been meaning to put up all week, but keep being distracted by other shiny things…!

“I’m your girl,” I said, as I snuggled in under his arm, “I’m 100% all yours!”

“Good girl,” he replied, and he held me close, and we drifted off to sleep together.

By the time the weekend was upon us, I’d worked myself into being a formless mass of brainless jelly. Friday night I was too exhausted to do anything, and then Saturday it seemed clear that I was fighting off some bug. I got up, and went right back to bed three times! He was a wonderful Daddy, and after I dragged myself out of bed in the late afternoon, left me with orders to remain on the sofa and watch Star Trek until he returned from getting groceries for our dinner, and to stock me up for the next week while he would be away on business. We he came back, I was feverish, but felt so loved and cared for that I couldn’t help but feel a bit better. We went to bed early, and while we snuggled, he told me about the scene he’d wanted to have with me that day. I was entirely dismayed to have missed that opportunity, and couldn’t help but have those fears that I was disappointing him so much that he’d loose interest in playing with me … but he assured me that the scene will happen as soon as possible, and to be honest, I felt so crappy that the idea of adding pain to the mix was simply not attractive at that moment!

He was only telling me about the scene he wanted to have with me to make me feel loved. He knows I get so excited about the though of him thinking about me, and wanting to do “terrible” things to me … and so he was just letting me know that he’d indeed been doing so.

Sunday we had a brunch with a group of kinky friends: Midori and her wife, my Kissing Cousin Ariel and her RubrLuvr, T & L from Oz, and Mistress Absolute from the UK – a very international and well-traveled group of perverts! We ate dim sum and talked about anything and everything under the sun, and it was just one of those lovely get-togethers of your own peers, where you can just discuss anything at all and get an enthusiastic (and probably very knowledgeable!) response.

Afterwards, I felt a bit renewed from the happy companionship, and when we got home I managed to cook him dinner (Scotch Broth) so it would be ready when we got back from our movie.

I love when he takes me out to movies. It’s not very often, and so it always feels special. This was especially special, as it was Coraline in 3D, and Neil Gaiman is very much a shared thing we delight in (yes, I mean thing – not just his books, but his blog, which we both read and discuss. Neither of us has met Neil, although we both feel very fond about him and happy for him when good things come his way, so I can’t say that Neil as a person is who we delight in, since we don’t really know him as a person – although I think it’s probably safe to assume it – but the whole Neil Gaiman thing is something we know about and can share). We got popcorn (he insists that he hates popcorn, but he would always eat mine, so this time I gently suggested we get two bags of it, and he must have spilled his or something, but long before I finished my bag, his was empty!)

We came home from the wonderful movie all jazzed up, me feeling the best I had in days. My bad girl side was in effect, not being bad so much as cheeky and bold. He really seems to like the occasional taste of that, and so I did things like walk up behind him as he waited for me to leave the loo in the theatre, and grabbed his ass so that he jumped out of his skin, not knowing who’d just grabbed a goodly handful of his right cheek! I flirted outrageously in the car, made out with him in the elevator, and when we got into the apartment, pushed him onto the bed and gave him the Mother Of All Blow-jobs.
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