Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘Pandora’

I will get to our story in progress (I’m working on it already, no worries!) but I wanted to quickly point out some areas of interest in the spankosphere.

Haron has a fascinating vision on the joy of shopping for schoolgirl uniforms. It’s amusing that it’s August, and parents around the country are placing their orders online for jumpers and pleated skirts for little Suzie, or dragging little Joey in to get this year’s trousers-and-blazer. You’d think we had the same schedule in the spanko world, which is sorta incorrect, because there’s never a bad time to buy a new pleated skirt for us. However, there is the fact that almost every spanko group manages to have a “Back To School Party” (I’ll be going to the Shadow Lane one!) in the autumn, so I guess we do have reason to be frequenting the school uniform stores at the same time as actually school-goers!

In other news, I’ve been neglecting recognizing the brilliance of my fellow spanko bloggers for too long. Pandora‘s comments to Graham are a good place to start, as not only do both write very well on the topic of the value of silence in a scene, but they also name-check lots of other good writers, doing half my job for me!

I did put in a quick comment on Graham’s post, but I’ll go into my own thoughts a little, here…. When I first started playing with my Master, I was soooooo terrified that he would be disappointed in me — and this led immediately in my mind to him breaking things off with me — I was so desperately in love with him that I was very twitchy at this state, and being both nervous about impressing my shiny new Master and learning about being a spanko left me in a really uncertain place. To add to that, I was learning about spanko stuff from Janus and Blushes and Roué (“Oh my!”) magazines, and often they featured the headmaster telling the young lady about to be corrected that she’d better not make a peep as he gave her her punishment, or from the point of view of a schoolgirl thinking that she’d better be brave and take all her strokes without yelping. I thought those were my proper template, and I tired to be as stoic as possible whenever I got a chance to play with my Master.

Then, of course, he showed me spanking videos, and I got a very different template, since girls were yelping and protesting from the first swat.

This was confusing, to understate things. During scenes where my pain tolerance was low, I’d feel like a terrible wimp and a let-down. But if I was in a place where I could take a lot, and just focus on the pain by going to an internal place and being very quiet, then I’d feel like I wasn’t giving him an entirely satisfactory experience.

( In this video, interestingly, the girl is told she will be caned until tears start flowing. See the second clip….)

In the end, of course, things have come to be about a combination of what is naturally me, and what turns him on. In the usual course of things, I’m really pretty noisy. And I love being able to scene where I can be as loud as I like without upsetting the neighbours. (And this is entirely skirting the topic of sex. I was nicknamed “the banshee” in college, and I think that’s all we need to say about that!)

But sometimes I do go into this odd headspace where he can just whack away at my bottom with a cane or strap, and I go all quiet, just breathing deeply to deal with the pain.

And he is happy with both of those. (Although I think the latter sometimes discomforts him, since he can’t as easily read my reactions.) But the main thing is that he accepts and values all my ways of dealing with the CP he dishes out, and so I’ve become free to just react naturally – and my reactions change over time, and go through phases, and etc.

I’m sure at some future point, I’ll be in a scene where silence is demanded of me. And it will be a struggle, and lord knows how it will turn out (I assume I will have a very striped botty, but I think that’s a safe assumption regardless!)

But my sneaking suspicion is that there are few spankers who really want an entirely stoic spankee. If anything, the exhortation to be silent is done because everyone knows it’s well-nigh impossible, and it gives the spanker a reason to add on another set of six of the best….

This is a goooood week to be reading the kinky blogs, whether you’re a spanko or BDSM-player — even better if you’re both, like me!

On the Master/slave side of things, Kaya has put up what may be her bestest post to date (this is not easy — she’s so good, it’s hard for her to top herself. Errr, yes, in both meanings of “top!”) about the “reality” of modern Master/slave relationships.

[Slavery is] an illusion that only works because the two people involved believe in it enough to make it their own personal “reality”.

Nobody is really a slave, bound and held in the same manners that real-life slaves are. Nobody is owned. Nobody is property.

It’s mindgames and headfucks and brainwashing- and it works because we make it work. Because we’re dedicated to making it work and because we put equal effort into making it “real” for us. I am a slave, he is my owner and that’s how we live. That’s our reality, our day to day life and it’s how we choose to live.

But it isn’t real. None of y’all are. Stand in a police station one time and tell an officer that you’re an owned slave and your owner won’t let you leave. Face it, the only people believing in your “reality”, is the pair of you….

As Kaya so colourfully puts it, that observation “that went over like a fart in church.” Wander over to her blog to read the ensuing drama!

Over at Ye Olde Spanking Writers, the deeply intelligent and attractive Haron (me, be flirting with her? Why, um, yes, actually!) considers:

I’m not going to make anyone feel better if I say that, without taking on and processing different kinds of violence visited by one human being on another throughout history, we would be bereft of any settings for role-play. The stuff we feed on, from Roman slaves, via Victorian maids, to nearly modern schoolchildren, is in its core quite appalling.

How much of it you then make it yours, whether you decide to play with certain aspects of it at all, is then a sensitive individual choice….

(Of course, Haron’s not the only one doing awesome posts on the Spanking Writers this week. Abel put up this really amusing post yesterday!)

Meanwhile — because theory is all well in it’s way, but really, we’re all just here for the hot pr0n, right? — Adele Haze and Pandora have been getting up to no good, which is all to the good of us viewers, if not Pandora’s and Adele’s bottoms! I can’t wait for Roué to release the film!

Today two smart and eloquent people in my daily rss feed posted the following two posts, which for me showed up back-to-back, in this perfect symmetry. Enjoy!

From Pandora’s wonderful blog, a discussion of proposed revision to the DSM, “the official diagnostic list of mental disorders for medical practitioners in the US”…

The proposed revisions risk stigmatizing countless sane individuals with erotic tastes outside a strictly-sanctioned norm. They would lend credibility to those who wish to condemn or discriminate people on these grounds. They would also risk adversely affecting people who are happy in their alternative sexuality but seeking treatment for other mental health problems, by giving judgmental medical practitioners authority to mis-diagnose their sexual practices as being the source of the problem. Labelling any form of gender or sexual expression as a “mental disorder” has the potential to be hugely damaging, and ignores the vast spectrum of natural sexual and gender variation that exists in the world.

The Madhouse, 1812-15, Goya, Francisco…
Buy at AllPosters.com

Then, Fyre has a wonderful post about “Transcending the Norm,”

After all, the ingredients in good S&M play–communication, respect and trust–are the same ingredients in good traditional sex. The outcome is the same, a feeling of connection to the body and the self. Practitioners’ of BDSM thus need to achieve, out of their dynamic, a relationship that produces coherence, which deeply affects each participant through a sense of shared experience within their system of beliefs.

Although people report that they have better-than-usual sex immediately after a scene, the primary goal of S&M itself is not intercourse: “A good scene doesn’t end in orgasm, it ends in catharsis.” It is in our acceptance of the sadistic or masochistic aspects of human nature and their expression rather than repression that provides the cathartic catalyst.

Inherent in our nature is the desire to improve and better ourselves. The process of exceeding our current limitations may be referred to as “self-transcendence.” Self-transcendence embodies the human spirit’s capacity to go beyond our previous achievements, it can apply to any aspect of our being; the physical self-transcendence of running faster; the mental self-transcendence of going beyond self imposed limitations. Anyone who strives for greater perfection and a higher perspective is practicing a form of self-transcendence.

I think Fyre’s quote from Joseph Campbell (The Power of Myth dude):

I think we are seeking the experience of being alive, so that our life’s experience on a purely physical plane will have resonance within our own innermost being and reality, so we actually feel the rapture of being alive. That’s what it is all finally about, and that’s what these clues help us find within ourselves.

and his final thoughts:

The deeper the understanding we have of the dynamics of this complex and beautiful form of human expression, the more our ceremonies, rituals and celebrations will reflect the deepest wisdom and understanding our unique culture has to offer, and the more our shared moments will reflect us, in all our differences.

really should be read by the people working on the DSM, before they make hasty decisions that could effect the lives of so many people!