Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘pictures’

Okay, okay, so I just liked that title too much to call this post anything else. And it is vaguely relevant!

Some weeks ago (and this is how terribly behind I am in this blog – my apologies) my Papa Otter and I went to Gallifrey One, a Dr Who convention. I had not thought we were going to be able to go to it, and then Papa Otter surprised me on Valentines Day with tickets. I had really wanted to go, not just because of the general Dr Who-ness, but because Mija and Paul and Bridget (et famille) would be going, and who wouldn’t want to be part of that gaggle of kinky geeks?!

The only downside of the surprise Valentines tickets was that I had almost no time to put together a Dr Who themed outfit. I was wracking my brains whilst on the phone with Mija, and then she suggested, “What about that episode where Romana is dressed like a schoolgirl—” and I interrupted her crying out, “Yes, of course, ‘City of Death’!”

I had the dress, the blazer – but not the fabulous red shoes, red tie, or straw boater. So I had to scramble to find them (yay for the interwebs!) and Mija said she’d loan me her boater. The result was thus:

Wikipedia tells us:

Seeing her [Lalla Ward’s] costumes as an important part in creating the role of Romana, Ward clashed with costume designer Doreen James, rejecting the silver catsuit James had designed for her for the story. Ward came up with the idea for the schoolgirl costume she wore in conjunction with Tom Baker, recalling, “I thought it would be fun to wear something that little girls probably hated wearing because it might cheer them up… I didn’t bank on the fact that I’d also get loads of letters from their fathers saying ‘Cor! School uniform!’”.

Now add to this the fact that Lalla Ward and Tom Baker were a couple at the time of shooting…. Now, as one can obviously read into that quote – at least if you are spanko-minded – Tom and Lalla obviously had that schoolgirl uniform on-hand for a specific reason – and possibly Lalla was not as surprised at the reactions as all that…!

Anyway, we had a brilliant time – it was like there was a mini-spanking contingent at the con! As a panel at the con pointed out, Dr Who has always embraced people who were “other,” and alternative sexualities, which makes it a safe haven for kinky folk who like sci-fi. (Although, let’s face it, if you’ve seen the attendance lists of your local s-f convention and your local dungeon, you’re mostly seeing the same names, so it’s not like the people at this con need a safe space the way people at a Southern Baptist Convention might….) And I think one can safely assume The Doctor likes a bit of spanky-bot-bot – I’m mean, he’s a man of the multiverse and all, he’s been around the block a few times, picked up some exotic practices along the way….

The question I have for spankers is “Who would you spank on Doctor Who?” And for spankees, same question, vice versa!

I’ll go first: I’d like Tom Baker, Christopher Eccelston, and David Tennant to spank me. Preferably all at the same time! And I’d probably enjoy switching with Captain Jack. (This probably goes without saying…!) Okay, have at it, you lot!

And the winner is…? Well, um, us!

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I had a picture of me from a reading I did at Good Vibrations promoting Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories, but I didn’t really have any reason to post it (it being rather in the past by this point in time), so it was just sitting around on my computer, and I kept thinking, “I need a reason to post this!” every time I ran across them.

Well, Ms Cassandra has just given me not only a good reason, but a lovely compliment as well. I quote from her blog:

I walked over to the Barnes & Noble to look up two particular erotic short story anthologies. I didn’t find those anthologies, but saw Rachel Kramer Bussell’s spanking collection, Bottoms Up.

I know a woman whose story was published in that anthology. I THOUGHT I’d read it; it turns out that I hadn’t. Her name is Zille Defeu, she’s a blogger and she was the organizer of the recent San Francisco Corporal Punishment party. At the Barnes & Noble I flipped to her story. Big mistake — it was terrific. I’m thinking, shit, there’s no way I’d ever get published again if THIS is my competition.

What a lovely compliment from Sandy — it was very kind of her to post that!

And now that I’ve used my excuse for this post, I can finally put up the picture of me from the reading!

Don’t I look all calm and collected and stuff? I was terrified! I can do public speaking, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it! Rachel has video footage of at least some of it, I think, and I probably sound reasonably sanguine about the whole thing … but inside I was quaking in my boots. But I’ve sternly told myself that if I am going to work at being a published author, I’m going to have to do readings — it’s part of the job description! And the only way to get less nervous about the whole thing is for it to become something I’ve done so much it’s a walk in the park — boring, even! (It’s rather hard to be nervous and bored at the same time, I find!)

I have to run and fold laundry now, but I’ve got so much to catch you all up with (tons of pictures!) and now that the party is over and my life is less in-complete-chaos, I want to get back to proper blogging!

Well,
to continue with the caning … I was still quaking in my spandex after the last series of Six-O-The-Bests, but the final twelve were yet to come. This was back to the Senior cane, which would have seemed like a walk in the park after the last cane (the bamboo root one!), but there was not much real estate left on my bottom that wasn’t hot and weal-ed. So the cane strokes either came down on the already well-battered skin on my bottom, or on my thighs, which were not very marked, but which always hurt so much more!

By the end of that I was squealing and blindly trying to swim away through the air. It always amazes me that his fingers resting ever-so-lightly on my back keep me firmly in place no matter what the level of pain.

Then – my reward! Yes, if you’re thinking, “Alright, this is Zille, so she means ‘anal sex’,” you’d be right! I’ve been begging him for cruel anal sex: just using me for his own pleasure, whilst I whimper in pain (or at least varying levels of discomfort!) and I think it’s been hard for him to entirely be sanguine with it. When he fucks me, he wants me to go soaring into pleasure with him – and, mind you, I appreciate the sentiment! It is the irony of the universe that so many guys are careless lovers who “just take,” and I fantasize about that, while having a caring and involved lover, to whom my pleasure matters deeply.

Of course, if he wasn’t that person, I couldn’t trust him with the sort of play we do. How deeply ironical that it’s only because I know he is not truly like that, that I can long for him to be, and beg him to pretend to be!

But, because he does care about my satisfaction, he betook himself to use me roughly and get as much pleasure from it as possible. I know, some of you are thinking, “Oh, poor guy gets the world’s smallest violin from me!” but the fact of the matter is that when he’s fucking me and I’m screaming in pleasure, he can just let go and enjoy it 100%. When he is forcing his cock into my ass and I’m whimpering in pain, he has to pay attention to what he is doing, so he doesn’t injure me – and that is a distraction, he cannot let go 100%. (Of course, being me, I think a solution for this is that he practice a whole lot, and then it can become second nature and he won’t have to think about it anymore!)

Anyway, it was a period of wonderfulness. As he pushed into me, some inner masochist part of me sighed, “Oh, now this is pain I can really get into!” I revelled in the pain like a pig in mud, begging him sotto voce, “Please … use me … please … enjoy this fully … please … hurt me….”
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I just came across these shots from a few years ago (when I still had the long black hair. Have I mentioned I’m growing out my current bob?) and I knew there’d be a number of you lot who’d enjoy these images, so I thought I’d share them!

They are by Lee (formerly Bridgett) Harrington — both an talented photographer and rigger (a one man band!) We did a lot of fun stuff together, and I’d love to work with Lee again someday!

Enjoy!

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