Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘Polly Perverse’

It seems that not only are my fellow bloggers inspiring me to think/write about this topic, but I’m passing those thoughts along…!

My friend Polly Perverse had this to say on the matter:

Zille has been exploring the connection between desire, violence, and sex through various writers. It is something I have given much thought to. Particularly because in the field of psychology, the ability or even need to fantasize about sexual violence is connected with experiencing sexual violence. And as a result, the intrusion or development of violent sexual fantasies are construed as something to be cured.

There are very few if any books that explore this subject. In my view, the addition of violent and (subjectively) repulsive matter to sexual masturbatory fantasies is a way for many individuals to process the horror that humans can inflict on other humans.

Sometimes this is an experience that one has gone through directly and eroticised. Other times it is something one has heard about occurring to another and is trying to process. It bears a striking resemblance to post-traumatic play in that one can repeat the same scenario over and over again as if it were a memorized ritual handed down through generation

Little kids when faced with a horror reenact the same horror, with their own unique play acted flourishes, over and over and over again. Almost as if compelled by trance.

Sexual play is similar but not the same. It is similar because of the repetitive quality. It is differing in that there is no joy in post traumatic play. There is no insight and no resolution. In contrast, there is certainly joy in the way an adult can reproduce and re-experience ( in a controlled environment) an horrific past event in current sexual play and attempt to make sense of it.

For example, it is not uncommon for a strongly Jewish identified individual to want to engage in Nazi inspired role play. One can claim it, and by claiming it – change it. By changing it, take away the threat and the charge it carries psychically.

Humans often process horror by sexualizing it. It is not decadent. It is not trite. It is, in fact, adaptive. It is part of the human process of healing.

Thank you, Polly! That’s another thing I need to keep in mind, when I start to shy away from my own desires. People tend to use two things to deal with pain/fear/etc. The most common is making jokes about it (“laugh to keep from crying”) but the other, and not inferior, way is to sexualize it, make it your own.