Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘punishment’

I’ve got some tabs to close in my browser, so here’s a “things to share” hodge-podge for you lot!

I missed My Bottom Smarts Sunday Brunch this weekend because I didn’t actually get online enough to answer the excellent question:

It’s been said that clothes make the man (or woman). Do you or you partner dress for a spanking? Or do you perhaps adapt the spanking to your mode of dress? Does wearing certain clothes affect your spanking experiences? If so, how?

Papa Otter really introduced me to dressing for “sex.” (By which I mean spanking, role-play, and everything that generally follows, for us!) Oh, sure, I’d enjoyed playing dress-up role-play in the past, and I was in no way loathe to wear whatever my partner wanted to see me in, but “sex” generally happened in the buff.

With Papa Otter at first I was really confused because we never had naked sex. I was in my schoolgirl uniform, or a spandex catsuit, or equestrienne garb, but us enjoying some spanky-bot-bot and rumpy-pumpy was almost never done au naturale. It made me wonder if he didn’t like my body, or something.

Fast-forward to now. He’s utterly corrupted me! Naked spanking and sex is very rare for us – and even if he is willing, I’ll generally be the person to say, “Oh … shouldn’t I go put something on…?” *

Well – I’m the one who is not naked. He is usually naked or just in a pair of shorts. I get this from a practical viewpoint (i.e., that he is one of those people who is always warm, and he’s doing lots of physical labour, so wearing a tweed suit every time we play might be impractical. Also, when it’s time for things to go into places, he’s ready to put them there) but … darn it, I’d really like him to wear outfits for me more often!

So, I’m registering my complaint now! I’d like to see my Papa Otter in *his* riding clothes (OMG, boots!) or period clothing (Victorian, Elizabethan, whatever, I’ll role with it!) or the finest in headmaster fashions (just the occasional tweed is all I ask!) … or just even a nice suit, with one of those pairs of very sexy men’s dress shoes he owns. (I’m not a foot/shoe fetishist. But expensive men’s footwear makes my brain go melty. If I’m going to lick someone’s boots, give me some bespoke hand-made dress shoes from Jermyn Street, thankyouverymuch!)

As for the spanking that occurs spontaneously, when one is already dressed … well, those obviously are adapted as needed. “Necessity is the mother of invention,” and all. But so far we haven’t found an outfit I couldn’t be spanked in. Although the one time he caned me over a bustle, I did end up collapsing in laughter because it made such a terrible noise, but hurt not a bit! (The skirts and bustle were lifted soon thereafter!)

*For those ladies who might not get it and are wanting a purely practical explanation: I feel cold most of the time. This means that I’m almost never cold going into a scene, now. My poor cold feet have white schoolgirl socks on! Me being cold had actually gotten in the way of scenes, in the past. Also, being clothed means that one can keep one’s bra on for bouncy activities like being in “cowgirl” position. I was always having to cross my arm under my chest, because my tits bouncing all over the place is actually painful to me. (Not good painful – just distracting and annoying painful.) Now I can have them supported, and have both hands free … for stuff…!

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Also, Kaya has always written well about sex, but she just keeps getting better….

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And Kaelah has written a wonderful article about her first punishment.

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(The spankosphere has had some brilliant articles recently, but many of them are now sufficiently “old” by ‘net standards that I’m embarrassed to bring them up! I should get over that and just highlight the articles I’ve enjoyed over the past weeks/months!)

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My Master and I have been going through quite a lot, emotionally, these past few months. He’s not happy in his job at the moment, and what with my father not doing well and a number of other serious emotional things, it’s been very hard for us to manage even being a happy husband and wife, never-mind bring back kink into our relationship.

One of the reasons kink has been so scarce for us is that my Master has had serious concerns about being fair and reasonable. He’s been in some seriously cranky moods, for very good reasons, and he hasn’t wanted to take them out on me.

This would be all well-and-good, except that he hadn’t really expressed to me the extent of how miserable work was making him – he was trying not to bother me, to protect me from worrying information. Also it can’t be easy on him that I have depression – I can understand him not wanting to bring me down.

But the fact of the matter is that when the going gets tough, I can, as our dear Miss Maggie Mayhem says, “Pull on my Big Girl Panties.” And I need to know about what is happening in his life and mind and heart, because if I don’t, I can’t act properly on the information I’m lacking. Which can lead to a number of unpleasant results, like him resenting me for wanting things from him that he doesn’t have the energy to give, or him feeling bad that he can’t give me what I want (which I’m only asking of him because I don’t know better), and that guilt making the whole situation worse in a downward-spiral-y type of way.

Well, we’ve gotten though the worst of it. (I think and hope!) Now that I know what’s going on, I can give him the support he needs – or at least not ask stuff of him at bad times! As part of the healing process, we’ve been discussing getting back our disciplinary dynamic.

The main gist of our discussing (and discussing this stuff is very much fun, almost foreplay in its own right!) is that he is going to let go of his concerns about “fairness.” They were making him second-guess himself to the point that he never did anything, and to earn a punishment I had to basically “act out” in a very obvious way. Not particularly good for us!

Now, if I bother, annoy, or otherwise inconvenience him, something will be done about it. There is no excuse for feeling sick or tired or just having a sudden attack of stupidity. Another change is that our focus isn’t just “the paddle,” anymore. There will be a variety of levels of discipline and punishment.
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