Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘rant’

An awkward moment at Shadow Lane this past weekend: I was talking to some people, and made some unserious comment as to how much I wasn’t looking forward to a spanking (or something similar) and the person turned, concerned, to me and said, “But you do like to be spanked?!”

As with most awkward social situations, I made a joke* and rolled my eyes and said, “Oh, I’d hate to get spanked. That would just be terrible!” and this elicited minor chuckles and thankfully everyone moved on.

But it does bring me back yet again to my confusion with people in the scene who insist they hate spankings. (Apologies if you are one of the above – I’m not dissing you, just trying to wrap my head around this matter!) Why, if you hate to be spanked, are you at an expensive, weekend-long spanking party? (Or writing a spanking blog, or any other indication of a deep interest in all things spanking.)

When I first moved from BDSMville to the spankosphere, my attitude was the usual one you’d find in a dungeon: masochism is gooooood – in fact, the people who get the most “respect” in that scene are the serious pain sluts who could basically be skinned alive and would yet orgasm repeatedly during the process.

Imagine my confusion, upon entering the spankosphere, to come across people proclaiming loudly that they would do just anything to get out of the upcoming spanking – it was a complete and total paradigm shift, and, as you can see, I’m still not fully comprehending things.

At first I thought that it was just very extended roleplay – I mean, even BDSM folks can do scenes where they pretend, “Oh, don’t hit me with that mean old riding crop, anything but that!” So maybe, I wondered, the people who say they don’t like a spanking are just staying in that game all the time. Which is fine for them, but I would wish they’d wear a button, so I’d know what game we were all playing, the best to fit into any given spanko social situation. (I’m not sure what this button would say – suggestions welcome!)

But in the years since I’ve moved here (Years? When did that happen?) I’ve found some spanko neighbours who are as unabashedly enthusiastic as any whips-n-chains-er. So whatever reality some people are residing in, we aren’t all in the same one together. This is confusing for me – and I invariably get things wrong and joke about not wanting spankings with the happy masochists, and then boast about enjoying a recent thrashing with the no-ouchie-for-me folks. I do not like this. Being socially ept is hard enough for me as it is without people looking at me like I’ve sprouted eye-stalks off my forehead every time I talk about play.

After some conversations I’ve had since this most recent moment of social confusion, I think I may be altering my original notion about the “living the fantasy” concept. (So those of you who were just reading to the end of this entry so you could post irate rejoinders, please hold on to that thought….)
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