Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘r/l scenes’

Originally posted on 16th Feb 2009.

Sorry that I was MIA for most of last week, but I went on a trip with Mr Defeu, and while I was gone I was mostly focused on work for my own new job. If I even look at my blog, I’ll tend to “just write a short entry,” which of course then tends to be one of my really long ones (which probably only three of you lot actually read all the way to the end!).

Our trip was down to Southern California – visiting several towns. The first one was for Mr Defeu’s work, a conference that had him away all day, leaving me in the hotel room to work and wander down to the hotel gym. Our favourite Thai restaurant is in that town, and we had a wonderful dinner there. Also, the night we went down to enjoy the hotel hot-tub, we had the surreal experience of ending up in a hot tub with a rugby team (women rugby players!) and a couple marines and listening to them chat as they passed around a bottle of Malibu rum. They were kind enough to include us as the rum went ‘round, and indeed, were very nice people and we had a lovely (if perhaps surreal) time talking to them.

Of course, I had totally forgotten the marks on my bottom from last Sunday’s strapping and caning extravaganza. Ooops! I tried to keep my bottom turned away from everyone (not an easy feat when you are in a round hot-tub!) but perhaps I needn’t have worried, because if anyone is used to seeing bruises, it’s rugby players and guys in the military, right?!

We then drove up to visit our friend Mr. Stagg (who really needs to get off his arse and start commenting on this blog. I mean YOU, Mr. Stagg!). He’s one of Mr Defeu’s oldest and bestest friends (if men can be said to have bestest friends…) and we all went to an old hang out of theirs and drank mai tais and generally had a wonderful evening. I got quite tipsy, but I remember we talked a great deal about fetish and spanking and fun stuff like that!

The next day we were off to LA for the LA Kink Fetish Weekend. We only went to the Saturday event, “Rubberotica,” because we wanted to get home on Sunday and enjoy a leisurely Monday (it’s Presidents’ Day here in the U.S.) before the real world starts back up on Tuesday.

Just the one event worked out fine for us! We had such a great time; I can only imagine the next night would have been anticlimactic! Read the rest of this entry »

Mr Defeu is off on a trip again, and so when I found this old post it really resonated with me…. Originally posted on 6th Oct 2008.

Mr Defeu got home last Thursday night, and I promptly got sick. And then he had family-crisis stuff to deal with. So the best I could do as his girl was to have yummy food prepared for him, and surprise him with his desk all cleaned and neat and polished. (Most of the house was supposed to also be this way, but see above about the getting sick part, which threw the wrench in those plans!) I was scared that the weekend would go by with just dealing with family stuff. And also, when I get sick, he gets all in Daddy mode and wants to snuggle and pamper me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like being snuggled and pampered as much as the next girl, but when it means his Mean Scary Dominant Self gets turned off – then I’m a sad girl, because I live for our scenes. When he growls roughly at me to do something, my knees turn to jelly and other parts of my anatomy do fascinating things. When he gets all sweet and loving, it’s great … but well, it’s like flavours. I like to eat sweet stuff (oh yes I do indeed!) but I also crave rich, hearty, savoury flavours as well. Think of discipline and the various pains of spanking, caning, etc., as Boeuf Bourguignon, and your favourite sort of pizza, and spaghetti the way your mom made it, and creamy Potatoes Au Gratin, and sushi, and chicken satay and Tom Ka Gai, and a Monte Christo or Croque Monsieur or your favourite sandwich or burger, and, and, and … all your favourite savoury foods!

Happily, some of that yummy stuff was coming my way. He said he needed a nap, early Sunday evening, and I despaired. But then he saw I was upset and pointed out that after the nap, he would be refreshed…. He slept for about 45 minutes, and then I went in and joined him in the bed, and snuggled with him as he napped, and just enjoyed lying in bed with him, feeling his warmth and hearing his breathing, as I looked out of the window at the night-time city lights.

Eventually he stirred, and reached for my hand, and pulled it down to his cock, which was obviously wide awake and ready for action.

I laughed with delight, and said, “You should take lots of naps, Sir!”

Then I didn’t say anything for a while, because I was sucking his cock.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sunday morning dawned all-too early, although the call time for the shoot was eminently reasonable. I did all my pre-shoot prep in a buzz of happy anticipation: shooting with NSI again, and with my dear friend Bailey! Worries about how painful things might be generally don’t happen for me until we’re right about to start, which is when I always have a moment of, “Wait a minute! Why did I think this was a good idea–!”

All I knew was that they wanted me in “slinky black lingerie,” so I brought a black bra and lace thong and garter belt and stockings (I know I once had a black teddy, but I have no idea where it’s since gone, since Mr. Defeu doesn’t find such things interesting). That’s all Bailey knew, too, and so we put our sexy undergarments on with some trepidation.

Finally, we were vouchsafed that information just as shooting was about to start. (I think that sadist Paul was having too much fun leaving us to wonder!) It turns out that Bailey and I were girls who’d racked up an impressive debt at the tables in Marcus Black’s casinos (he was a multi-casino mobster!) and he was going to teach us a lesson personally. He started by having us spank each other, “because I won’t dirty my hands on the likes of you.”

When NSI releases this video, please note that he does actually at one point run his hand down our weals! In between takes, I noted to him that the psychic grime will never wash off – haha!

If you want to know what else happens in the movie, you’ll just have to join NSI. I’ll let you all know when it’s released!

My make-up was still reasonably intact after the shoot, so I decided it was time to shoot in a cute 1950’s “playsuit” that I’d be holding onto for years, waiting for the right moment to shoot in it. And a cute red “bathing cap” to match it. We met Bailey, Mr. Black, and Mr. Allen as we were heading down to the pool to shoot, and those wonderful people volunteered to help us out.

The pool and hot-tub were filled to over-brimming with kids and parents – ugh! I’m haven’t lost my shyness overnight (or at any point in my years-long modelling career!), so having everyone poolside watching me do posey-posey stuff was a nightmare. But I wanted to get some images, damnit, and I was in make-up and costume, and who knows when we’d find a chance to shoot again?! So I did my magic thing where I tuck away my shyness, and just ignored everyone. (This, I think, is the difference between exhibitionism and whatever I am. An exhibitionist revels in the attention of an audience. I just find the ability to pretend there isn’t an audience. “There is no spoon,” as it were. So I can go-go dance at a nightclub, work at a peepshow, make porn, what-have-you, and yet still be painfully shy most of the time. Yes, it is very confusing. I think I’ve just taken something from what I learned from my wonderful English teacher in high school about public speaking, and applied it to any potentially attention-garnering activity I have wanted to do ever since. And it’s worked — I manage to do the things I really want to make the effort to do!)

Since the pool itself was so full of frolicking families, I opted for the hot-tub as a place to pose, but it was stuffed with children aged about 6-14, who showed no sign of leaving. We waited and waited, and shot images in other areas while doing so, but the kiddies would not bugger off. Finally, I had an idea – I just strode over, and asked the kids if they would clear off for 10 minutes or so, while I shot some pictures I the hot tub.

Amazingly, they tripped over themselves to be helpful, clearing out of the line of the shot. That was as far as they went, however, and now I had a really really interested audience watching my every move. Joy. A few kids called out questions: “Are you a famous model?” Ummmm. “I hope to be someday,” seemed a safer answer than saying, “Yes, and your daddy may have jerked off to me.”

We got some shots, and then a few more from a different angle. When we stopped, I started climbing out of the water, and the kids burst into spontaneous applause. I bowed, pleased and surprised that they were so nice. My memories of a group of kids is from either being a kid myself (when they were all nasty vicious fiends who made fun of me) or as a camp counsellor (when they were mostly troublesome and as hard to herd as kittens) – a group of children all being nice to me is entirely unheard of in my experience. It was really lovely.

I was so happy to be done with modelling, however, just delighted to finally be out of the limelight. We all sat around talking for a while (most of us in the shade, just enjoying the desert heat), and then Mr. Defeu wanted to get out of the heat, and Bailey decided she needed sustenance. I couldn’t even comprehend moving, and so stayed down with Mr. Black and Mr. Allen, talking about everything and anything. That long afternoon rambling conversation of one of the best parts of the weekend for me: everything was over – parties and shoots and etc. – and all I had to do in the world was sit at my ease in the warm, warm air, talking with two new friends. It took me back to childhood, when summer afternoons would stretch out ahead of you like they would last forever. Except I was a self-assured (well, to the greatest extent I’ve known yet in my life) adult, who was able to really appreciate the pleasures of the afternoon for all they were worth. It was one of those “Life is good” moments, which not cherishing would be a terrible sin.

Once the shade had escaped due to the setting sun (watching Mr. Allen, Mr. Black and me hauling our lounge chairs back and back and back into the retreating shadows must have been an amusing sight!) I hauled my melty-brained self back up to the hotel room. I got ready for dinner – and my make-up was still amazingly well-preserved, and my hair looked as good as if it had just been “did” by a hairdresser – who knew sweating in a latex swimcap was the ultimate hair treatment?! However, we were hoping to have dinner with our friends, so we kept waiting to hear from someone with their dinner plans. Nothing, nothing. Finally Mr. Defeu decided, screw it, let’s have a scene. I hauled off my dinner dress and had on a white vest and navy blue gym knickers in record time!
Read the rest of this entry »

I wanted to make sure that Saturday was less hectic than Friday, but I didn’t mean it to be so mellow that I missed the Punishment Book meeting! But I slept in late, and then Mr. Defeu and I had some nice morning sex, and by the time I realized what was going on (i.e, that the PB meeting as not on Sunday after all), we barely made it down in time for brunch with Mija, Paul, Rad, and Miss Cassandra. (Note, I see Rad has explained that he can only be mentioned “as long as it’s glowing bordering on gushing” – so he should consider himself thus described as shining brighter than a glow-in-the-dark Jesus, and gushing in a manner that would make Niagra falls jealous!)

Then Mr. Defeu and I chilled for a while, before he got called off to help the Northern folks with some errands, and I started my prepping for my outfit for that evening. To the right, a shot taken while hanging out pre-ball with Mija, Paul, Fireman Chris and Serenity, Iris and M, and Bailey.

• Black Satin Bullet Bra
• 6-Strap Garter Belt
• Pin-Up Girl Stockings
• 50′s Rockabilly Satin Dot Halter Dress
• Satin Bolero Jacket

(I’ve linked above to a nice dress that’s like the one I’m wearing, but the one I’m wearing is special because it’s loaned to me by the delicious Pandora. Although I may tell her if she wants it back she has to come to San Francisco and wrest it from my body personally!)

The dinner part of the evening was nice – and the food wasn’t bad; better than last year’s, I felt – and I basically played musical chairs moving around the table talking to people. And a whole bunch of San Franciscans stopped by to talk to me, which was so cool – of course, it is perhaps ironic that we had to go to Vegas to meet and/or get a chance to chat! My local peeps should feel free to stay in touch with me – we talked about lots of cool ideas for spanking parties and stuff!

My only complaint was that the music got cranked to 11 while I was trying to talk to people. I was already loosing my voice from all the talking and from the smoky air (it’s weird, after living in CA, to be in a place where there is smoking allowed indoors! My throat’s just not used to that sort of thing anymore!) and since there was only a small number of people shakin’ their booties, the volume seemed disproportionately loud. I would really prefer that there be a dance floor area, and an eating/talking area, and the music kept to background-level in the latter. If I want to go dancing, I’ll go dancing whether or not the music is turned up – and if I want to talk, having to shout over music just makes me cranky.

This increased volume encouraged most of my friends it was time to move on to suite parties Read the rest of this entry »

It’s going to be very hard to collect the memories of the wonderful Shadowlane Thursday through Monday, because there are A.) too many good ones, and B.) it’s all tending to melt together into a rosy-glowing blur of remembrance. Still, let’s see what we can do….

We arrived so late Wednesday night as to more accurately be Thursday morning. Thursday was spent chilling out and enjoying the fact that we were on holiday, whilst watching the spankos trickle in to the Suncoast Casino and Spanko Central. That evening involved hanging out with friends in this perfect combination of pre-party anticipation, happiness to see each other again, and relief to have a night of mellow chat that didn’t involve shouting over music before it all started up. If you’re going to SL and you can afford it time and/or money-wise, I really recommend this option.

That night, Mr. Defeu, obviously inspired by the companionship and discussion, bent me over his lap for a spanking, and then over the end of the bed for a taste of the belt. (Yummy, would be the taste! I really do love that belt.) Then a thank-you blowjob for him!

Friday day was a bit chaotic, as everyone was trying to get everything into place – people having suite parties were buying foods and beverages, last minute wardrobe alterations were taking place, etc. I was lucky enough to go along for the ride with Lucy Mclean and Bailey as they shopped at the Bettie Page store. It’s not every lucky girl who has able to to hang out with those two whilst they stripped down in a small room! I think I failed utterly at trying not to be lecherous.

I really could have used a disco nap when I got back, but it was time to start getting ready, myself! Here are some links for items from my outfit that evening:

• Bettie Page “Accountant” Dress
• Knee Length Petticoat
• Elegant Moments Sheer thigh-hi
• High Heel Mary Jane

I got lots of compliments! (Thank you to all who took a moment to say a kind word.) Although once the Northern Girls came in, they got pretty much all the attention for the rest of the night!

I got to catch up with friends, and meet lots of lovely people. It was very intense for me, socially, but that’s how that sort of thing always is for me. When I started doing this sort of thing in college (i.e. – hanging out in large groups of people I mostly didn’t know) it was because I was working at ManRay. And what I did there was to arrive before the club opened and get ready with my friends and fellow performers, and then spend all my time with them, much of it down in the green room. Then I would perform, which would be my real act of social bravery for the evening, but it would only last about 10 minutes! Or, if I was go-go dancing, I’d be up on a block, and sure people would be looking at me, but I didn’t actually really talk to them! After that was done, I’d be high on performance endorphins, and social interaction would seem so much less scary than being up on stage, that I’d simply not care so much about it. So, oddly, just walking around talking to people is actually harder for me, than getting up onstage in small amounts of clothing and doing kinky things in front of an audience!

Fireman Chris and Mr. Defeu and I went to a suite party after the vendors fair, and I finally got to formally meet Richard Windsor, which was wonderful and I hope to hang out with him again, but after a while I had to admit I was flagging, and so we went back to our room and snuggled into bed. Sleep was not immediately an option, as we happened to be placed next door to one of the biggest suite parties! The sounds of rhythmic slapping and cries of, well, if not pain, then some intense emotion, kept up for quite a while. (At one point someone seemed to be rhythmically lifting and dropping a piece of furniture as well – not sure what that was about, but hats off to them!) Happily, thanks to Mija and Paul, we happened to have QI on DVD, so we watched a couple episodes and by the end of the second one, things had mellowed out enough that we could drift off to sleep.

Part II tomorrow!