Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘rough sex’

The very nice Bondage Blog just linked to my 1970′s Spanking Party post. So I wandered over to the site to look ’round, and immediately found an anime pic which totally does it for me:

What I like in the above image:

• The knickers roughly shoved aside for penetration. Sex is better NOT naked!
• The anime jizz. I’ve been totally corrupted by a combination of Victorian and anime porn (who knew those had anything in common?!), and so my fantasies have copious ejaculate flying everywhere.
• The fact that time was taken to draw the guy as out of shape. I love the “humiliation” factor there — hot young girl being used by older guy. I’d actually much rather see that than a hot porn stud any day of the week. It’s just more where I’m at.
• The position, too. She is so helpless on his lap like that. It makes her look really small, and him really in control.

Kink.com, despite their usual focus on nudity (yawn), do have a very good shot of this fetish:

(Also, can I just say I love the use of chiaroscuro in this image. It actually adds to how hot it is for me!)

I did not have the panties-pushed-aside fetish until I got together with Mr Defeu. But combining his fetishes for schoolgirl uniforms with authentic knickers and his spandex catsuit fetish with my endless desire for penetration (heehee, puts new meaning to: “You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!” “No, you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!”) soon lead to us both realizing that we’d much rather have sex where he was either pushing my regulation knickers to the side (or unzipping my catsuit crotch-zipper just enough) for roughly “taking” me.

Hmm, that last sentence calls for more thought on the matter. The fact is that I really would prefer to be playing at “consensual non-consent” (the “safe” and more comfortable term for “rape play”) than happily boinking away. There is time in my world for some consensual sex, but if I was to get a “bumper sticker” tattoo in the area over my ass, it would read, “I’d rather be pretending I don’t want to!” (“My other car is being raped” doesn’t have quite the right ring to it! Anyone have any other bumper sticker ideas?)

And here is where I think the Victorian and anime porn influences really do intersect and make me the girl I am today. Both the Victorians and the Japanese are a culture where “Good girls don’t,” and where it’s all about male desire, and women submitting. Whether it’s a lord of the manor with an unwilling maid-servant, or a tentacle-monster with a uniformed-schoolgirl, chances are great she’ll be moaning, “No, no, please don’t put it in there!”

And, given my druthers, I’ll be in a Victorian period gown (with corset and other period unmentionables, thank you!) or schoolgirl uniform, moaning just the very same thing, as my clothing is shoved roughly out of the way, so proper phallic item can be pushed even more roughly inside me.

Yes, now that is what I like!

I had a delicious dream right before I woke up. I was an actress on the set of a film, and my co-star and I were doing a scene involving some very rough sex — we must have been in a Verhoeven movie!

We did a take, and I nearly came from the roughness of it, the pounding of his body against mine. He noticed, and as we waited for some adjustment to the background or lighting, he whispered in my ear that he had found me out. Actually, I think it was much the same words that a boy said to me in sophomore year of high school, “So … you like it rough!” (Words which finally gave me a place to start understanding and learning about my own desires, so thank you Tom G, wherever you are!)

In my dream, I demurred, and my co-star forced a confession from me, his voice rough and low in my ear. He then told me that this next take would be very different, and I would just have to take it. “And,” he snarled, “when you come, make sure you’re facing the cameras!”

He also said that afterwards, I was coming back to his trailer on the set, and I knew that he would be spanking me, and probably using a number of implements on me. Maybe tie me down, as well…. And the whole crew would see me going into his trailer, and probably hearing the results, too, and know that I was now in this man’s power.

Take two started up, and this time when he pounded against me, his cock pushed into me, and suddenly I was being forcefully fucked on camera (although no one knew but us – the crew couldn’t see the change that was so intense for me, due to some well-draped sheets) his hands rough on my body, and I was gasping and making little whimpering noises, and had a moment of considering it ironic that I’d probably win the Oscar for a scene in which I wasn’t acting….

And then I woke up, damnit! Why couldn’t I have stayed in that dream until I came, staring helplessly into the lights and the cameras…?

N.B. — I started this on Monday, but the week overwhelmed me a bit — the jobby-job needing more catching up with. But, here finally, is my first scene report since the accident!
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I don’t want to count how long it’s been since we had some proper playtime, because that would just be depressing, but the dry-spell is over, YAY!

We did actually have a mini-scene last week, but it really just illustrated how much we both were missing our usual naughtinesses, and ended up being kinda more depressing than not playing, esp. since his arm was hot and swollen and sore after….

But, Saturday, I was snuggling with him on the sofa (naked, like you do…), and suddenly there was raging erection! Amusingly, the first thing that popped out of my mouth was, “Oh! But I need to shave!” He considerately allowed that if I were to give him some hands-on (and mouth-on) attention for a bit, then I could run off to the bath and shave as quickly as possible without removing vital bits of dermis.

And so it came about!

And I found myself face down on the bed, wearing black spandex hot pants, while he rummaged in the Drawer of Doom for just the right tawse. I normally start to feel a bit of (perfectly reasonable) apprehension in those right-just-before-it-starts moments. But this time I was so ready, so “bum randy” as one of my favourite spanking stories has it, that I just lay there thinking, “I want this, I want this, oh how I want this,” and not feeling anything but eager and ready.

Being the kind and gentle Master that he is [cough] he actually started with a warm-up for once! But I was so rarin’ to go that I just was not even in a place to appreciate the mild strokes, and so I showed that in the best way I’ve found for a submissive partner to demonstrate “more please”: I lay there without making a sound. Nothing like that to ramp up your Evil Sadist – he wants to see you squirming and yelping, damn it! And, in short order, I was!

After turning things from 0 to 11 with the tawse, he went for the belt. (He has an old brown one which is too battered for wearing, but has the perfect patina to be a Dreaded Instrument of Discipline – Only I adore the belt, so it’s less Dreaded and more Oh Yes Please!) His arm didn’t seem to mind the vigorous workout he gave my bottom!

After that it was over the side of the bed for the leather, um, thing, which is shaped like a paddle, but still flexible like a tawse. But, even with that, I was still revelling in the sensations and emotional experience of being beaten. Sure, it hurt, but it was filling up an empty ache that had been growing like a black hole inside me, and that ache hurt far worse than that leather paddle-thing!

Then it was sex-time (wheee!) and he did a thing he loves which is to pull my pants aside and fuck me with them still on. I’m quite fond of it myself, as it makes me feel like I’m just being used – that he can’t even bother to undress me properly, but he’s just tugging the fabric aside and sticking himself in me … hmmm, I’m going to either have to move on from this deliberation, or go take a moment with Mr. Buzzy!

Anyway, I was quite pleasantly surprised that he was going to fuck me whilst standing, as since the accident it’s all been me on top, for the very good reason of his broken leg! But that leg really didn’t seem to bother him or get in the way on Saturday, and we enjoyed a lovely timeless period of our favourite position (me bent over the side of the bed), which we haven’t done in far too long.

Then, being him, he decided I needed a caning. I actually really love his habit of spanking me, fucking me, caning me, fucking me – rinse and repeat! It stretches out the scene for longer (and I want them all to last as long as possible!) and it combines, or at least stacks, the painful and pleasurable sensations so that I get a wonderful sensory confusion.

The caning hurt a good bit – as it generally does! – and I was dancing in place by the end of it. As he’d start each set of six, I’d wonder (philosophically, as there was nothing I could actually do about it!) if I could make it through the set. What I love about the spanking dynamic is that as a spankee, I can have those fears (which make the whole thing so much better, of course!) and as the Spanker, he can get me to take more than I thought I could, he can help me to be both that strong and that yielding. It’s pretty amazing, when you think about it!
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