Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘Vanillaland’

I was reading Graham’s lovely recent post and thinking how I wanted to share it with a friend who hadn’t come out in the scene until she moved from her home state to the other side of the country.

But then Graham linked to Caroline Grey, who’s An Expat from Vanillaland post I had somehow missed (which would have been terrible, because it’s brilliant!) and I got all caught up in thinking about about any number of topics, because there are just so many thought-provoking things piled in one after another: the concept of a spanko-self (called by your scene name) vs your “real” self (the name you were given); the fact that when you get into the spanko scene you get pulled in and in, deeper and deeper down the kinky rabbit hole, until you get burnt out on it and need a little vacation from Kinkworld (although once you’ve become an “expat from Vanillaland,” where do you go for vacation?); and then there’s the whole notion of Kinkworld itself — a place that exists simultaneously and yet solely in your imagination, on-line, and at spanking parties or kinky rendezvous.

Happily, for me, since Zille is not just a scene name but has become my preferred nickname, and since I’ve been very open with all my more vanilla-y friends for years, I’m so long an expat from Vanillaland that I barely remember what it was like there (and infrequent visits, like my recent one back to my parent’s house, leave me feeling very much like I don’t belong there) … but when I get burnt out (like I obviously was over the past few weeks), where does that leave me to go?!

Well, I just get off the computer, really. Pretty much the major connection to Kinkworld for anyone is the interwebs, so when I feel a bit crispy ’round the edges, you’ll sudden hear the sounds of silence (the wind in the web, the sounds of digital crickets…) from me — it’s because I’m reading novels and re-watching Star Trek: that’s where I go!