Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Posts Tagged ‘victorian’

-I – Opening

Being “taken” (or, occasionally, “taking” someone) is a huge part of my sexuality. All of my earliest sexual fantasies involve some elements of it. When I starting becoming aware of my interest in BDSM the first thing I turned to was “rough sex.” In the years that I haven’t had proper play partners I have counted on playing with rough sex or fantasy role-play involving being taken as the thing that got me by, that gave me some measure of fulfilment. When I masturbated, it was the thing that made me come.

Now, the thought of being taken by you is almost overwhelming. Our play is already beyond my wildest imaginings. To add this most fundamental fantasy to the mix is … well, I do not have the words.

So let’s turn to something I do have words for….

II – “You’re just too physical”

For years my fantasies have encompassed every form of non-consensual or semi-consensual sex I could think up. The Victorian ones of course spring first to mind. The innocent young girl, who, forced by the mores of her time, cannot admit to wanting to be fucked. So she must cry out things like, “No, please, I beg you! Do not – Oh! Not in there! Please! Anything but that!” beforehand, and sob fun phrases like “Oh! It’s is too large – it will kill me! I cannot bear it!” during. (Happily, sounds of protest and pain can be easily interchangeable with orgasm.) It doesn’t take much work to over-power the Victorian lady: the corsets keep her from getting enough air to run far! And under the socially-approved protestants, one can see she is only putting up a token fight.

But the Victorian-type fantasies (and they can really be just about any period, with variations in dress, names, and locations) can also get rougher: the fine lady who condescends to flirts delicately with a handsome stable-hand and finds herself in an out-of-control situation in the hay: she does not want to get fucked, she might get pregnant by this lower-class brute! But there is nothing she can do when he throws her down and has his way with her! Or the virginal maid who has the misfortune to work in a boarding house where a rake has taken rooms: she was trying to “keep herself” for the “right man,” but this scoundrel catches her interest with fine words, persuades her to have a glass or two of champagne, and then takes sudden brutal advantage of her (probably right over the table, knocking over the wine glasses) only to discover, to his delight, that he has popped her cherry!

This last scenario leads right into another aspect of these fantasies: the pains of sex. The defiled virgin is a fun game (And, Sir, if I could grow my hymen back so that you could breach it yourself, I would!) and also a potent one for me because it mixes pain and pleasure in my favorite place for both! One of the things I love most about rough sex and un-consensual fantasy play is that there is no foreplay: things are thrust inside me with no warm-up … which adds this lovely element of pain to the pleasure. Another way to add pain to sex for me is positions. I have a cervix which is tilted “funny” (to use the technical term my gynaecologist used) and it means that doggie style is my “best” position for minimizing pain during sex. Not that I want to! The position that leads to cocks uncomfortably bumping my cervix the most: me on top – and what that comes down to meaning, Sir, is that unless I have been well-primed by your fingers first, I will almost always experience “discomfort” when I ride on top of you. “Cowgirl” therefore becomes a true sexual “service” to me, despite it’s more obvious connotations of being in control.

(In an aside, Sir, the “discomfort” is really just that – you will not injure me from it [although I may walk funny afterwards…] However, unfortunately, because of the odd tilt of my cervix, I do tend to come hardest in doggie style, so I don’t get to enjoy the pain *and* the best orgasms all in one position. Of course, doing more than one position during sex is always a recipe for success, even for gals with normally tilted cervixes….)

But this gets us away from the topic directly at hand. Let’s bring it back with a snipped of fantasy that I might think up to make myself come…

He forcibly pushed her legs apart. She whimpered through the crude gag he had tied in her mouth. She could feel him getting his cock out, and she tried to pull her legs free, but he wrenched them back with such force that she froze in pain. He took advantage of her momentary shock to get the head of it centred at her opening. She realized what was going on and started to beg him, trying to speak through the gag, not to do this, but he only pushed the head inside her. He didn’t get far – she wasn’t open enough for him to slide all the way, so he pulled out and tried again, ramming harder this time. She felt an ache of being stretched, of her most delicate skin being pulled so harshly, and she tried to fight her bonds, his hands, but they were both too strong. A third time he tried, and this time he pushed in far enough that he could slide all the way in, and she felt the burning ache of every inch. He started a rhythm that suited his pleasure, too fast to give her time to get used to the sensations, so the burning grew hotter and more terrible. She could not help but cry in pain and fear, and try to struggle away from it – but in a horrifying realization, she understood it was arousing him further. She stopped, and tried to lay still, to deny him at least that, but the pain overwhelmed her and she started moving and crying again, mindlessly, like an animal. Now he was driving as deeply as possible into her, and with every thrust she felt a stabbing shock of pain at her center. She could not recover from that before he had thrust again, and again. Her tears rolled down her face…

That is a variant of my most “standard fare.” By the time he comes inside her (well, me) I’ll be more than ready to come, too.

A completely incomplete list of some non-consensual fantasies:

• Involving your straitjacket, Sir: I am put into an “institution” for some terrible reason or other (perhaps, going back to Victorian times, being put away for “nymphomania”) and the guard/doctor/orderly takes advantage of me (could involve beatings or other torments as “therapy” which then gets said guard/doctor/orderly excited….)
• Girl goes to stay with her uncle for the weekend. She wears sexy clothes, feeling “all grown up,” but finds out what happens to girls who dress slutty… (Many variants, mostly along Victorian lines….)
• Spy is captured and tortured. This is a much bigger fantasy of course, but forced sex is a great way to make ‘em talk. Okay, well, maybe it isn’t – but it sure is fun! Uniforms are vital! Cold war stuff is perfect: female American spy falls into the hands of Evil Soviet Officer. The U.S. denies knowledge of her and leaves her in his all-too-capable hands….

I could go on for pages, Sir, but I think it would be a bit redundant. You can just ask me for more, anyway. And there is another aspect I want to talk about.

There is also the consensual. Being used for my Master’s pleasure. My Master fucking me as a way of showing me I am his. These are not entirely new fantasies, but they are certainly new realities. (Or, will be a new reality!) Before, these fantasies were mostly set in the harem; a long-running serial fantasy of me and this cruel, dominant, yet loving Sheik, with me building up from the newest addition to the harem, fighting my way up to head-wife. Not only do I have to please my Sheik the first time, to catch his eye, but I have to be very inventive to keep it….

But that is all fantasy and role-play, which is lovely and has keep me going lo these many years, but now I get to have the real thing! You have a real sexual submissive on your hands, Master. Unless I am so sick (flu-sick, not CFIDS, which is helped by sex) that you’ll probably want to keep a safe distance anyway, I will be happy (this is not the perfect word, but my thesaurus doesn’t seem to have the right word) to be taken by you at any time. That is not an idle promise – try it and see!

III – Mental Challanges

The above fantasies were all fun, but lacked a certain component that makes for great non-consensual sex: coercion!

As fun as it is to be held down (or tied down, or strapped up, or what-have-you), it is perhaps even hotter to be put in a compromising position where you are “forced” to have sex you “don’t want” by all-too-clever argument, inorexible persuasion, or blackmail. You have already mentioned a similar fantasy the other night (the Chauffeur and haughty rich-bitch!) Which would work equally well for headmasters and various other authority figures poor a girl might find herself dealing with. (How did her reputation become so tarnished that all of these pitiless men can use her so vilely?!)

This is where that Cardinal fantasy I told you about in our emails comes in. Does the poor Lady want the Cardinal to do degrading things to her? Of course not! She is a woman of virtue and high birth! But to get back those ancestral lands, he leaves her only one choice … and in her desperation, she cannot find reason with his slippery rationalizations swimming in her brain, all she can do is give in to his depraved desires!

To be taken this way is far more humiliating than to submit by being physically over-powered. And, for me, the fighting with desperate words not to yield, and then the moment where I can see no option but to submit – that is incredibly erotic foreplay!

But again, this is all fantasy and role-play, when now reality is here! And, Sir, I have been appreciating – awed by – how you are taking me. I know I am in the hands of a Master (as in, “one who has honed his craft”) and I am a delighted observer at your skillfully making me yours. I would have thought that being aware of it would have gotten in the way, but it is not so: understanding your mastery makes me appreciate and trust you all the more (which then makes it easier for you to play me like an instrument; if I am a harp, you are Taliesin!)

IV – Closing

In conclusion, Master, I just want to tell you how lucky I feel that I have found someone who wants to take me as much as I want to be taken. Someone who will not only make real my darkest dreams, but also play fun (if perhaps disturbing) games with me as well.

Since sex is such an significant component of submission for me, being taken is of course vital: it makes the moment of submission, if that is part of the play, into a high point that we can both revel in, as opposed to always starting with me submissively offering myself to you (which if fun too, of course, but becomes boring if that is the only thing.) In the cases where you are “just using” me, my body, to satisfy your needs (whether within a role-play scene or just what you happen to want to do after coming home from work), we are in a consensual, give-and-take relationship under it all, and I want to be taken by you just as much as you want to take me.

In the end, it comes down to the thing that everything seems to come down to in our relationship: I am yours, Master – take me!