Comments on: The difference between discipline & punishment http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/the-difference-between-discipline-punishment/ fetish and kink, spanking and sex - in words and pictures Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:33:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Bill http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/the-difference-between-discipline-punishment/comment-page-1/#comment-2601 Bill Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:04:50 +0000 http://www.zilledefeu.com/?p=1330#comment-2601 I have my theory on the various flavors of (said lovingly) sexual deviance. I first noticed it with poly related groups. There is a tendency, especially among the more learned members of the group to philosophize an activity to death. My theory is that when you are 'breaking from the norm' you still tend to hold onto the morality of the 'norm' and so there is that little par of your brain that says 'shouldn't be doing this'. In order to get away from that, there is a tendency to explore the philosophy of why, how, the spiritual meaning etc. All of that is fine and healthy if it works for the individual. The problem happens when that person has put all that work into it for themselves then decides that all that work should belong to the people. What you have now is a codified list of rules for how to be whatever label you've given yourself and people with similar interests. the next step up along the line is that if you have rules and follow the rules then you're "in" but if not, well.. they're doing it wrong and then it becomes a case of looking your nose down on 'them'. The other problem I'm noticing here is the limitation of the language. A dictionary, unless there is some Fetishists Dictionary that I'm not aware of, is going to be a generalists tool. The general publics understanding of what punishment is vs. what discipline is doesn't need to get that deep. When you are dealing with specialists language it gets bigger. A scientist who studies Avalances has over 80 terms just for describing types of snow (despite apocrapha to the countrary, Inuit do not) because they specialize in the study of snow. Someone who studies spankings and similar activities will likely have as many or more to describe the various acts (and connotations to an act). And like a child who moves from an 8 pack of crayons to the big 64 box of crayons, a spanking artist's pallet also expands by having those words to use. I have my theory on the various flavors of (said lovingly) sexual deviance. I first noticed it with poly related groups. There is a tendency, especially among the more learned members of the group to philosophize an activity to death. My theory is that when you are ‘breaking from the norm’ you still tend to hold onto the morality of the ‘norm’ and so there is that little par of your brain that says ‘shouldn’t be doing this’. In order to get away from that, there is a tendency to explore the philosophy of why, how, the spiritual meaning etc.

All of that is fine and healthy if it works for the individual. The problem happens when that person has put all that work into it for themselves then decides that all that work should belong to the people. What you have now is a codified list of rules for how to be whatever label you’ve given yourself and people with similar interests. the next step up along the line is that if you have rules and follow the rules then you’re “in” but if not, well.. they’re doing it wrong and then it becomes a case of looking your nose down on ‘them’.

The other problem I’m noticing here is the limitation of the language. A dictionary, unless there is some Fetishists Dictionary that I’m not aware of, is going to be a generalists tool. The general publics understanding of what punishment is vs. what discipline is doesn’t need to get that deep. When you are dealing with specialists language it gets bigger. A scientist who studies Avalances has over 80 terms just for describing types of snow (despite apocrapha to the countrary, Inuit do not) because they specialize in the study of snow. Someone who studies spankings and similar activities will likely have as many or more to describe the various acts (and connotations to an act). And like a child who moves from an 8 pack of crayons to the big 64 box of crayons, a spanking artist’s pallet also expands by having those words to use.

]]> By: Sera Miles http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/the-difference-between-discipline-punishment/comment-page-1/#comment-2593 Sera Miles Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:01:05 +0000 http://www.zilledefeu.com/?p=1330#comment-2593 I'm with you, Zille. I am a bonafide heavy-duty spanking fetishist and I LOVE getting my bottom warmed, tanned, and marked, but when I deserve a true punishment--well, my partner and I know the difference and I feel the difference with every stroke. It's not fun (while it's happening), and it's not discipline. And no kink group is better than anyone other! :) I’m with you, Zille. I am a bonafide heavy-duty spanking fetishist and I LOVE getting my bottom warmed, tanned, and marked, but when I deserve a true punishment–well, my partner and I know the difference and I feel the difference with every stroke. It’s not fun (while it’s happening), and it’s not discipline.

And no kink group is better than anyone other! :)

]]> By: Scunge http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/the-difference-between-discipline-punishment/comment-page-1/#comment-2584 Scunge Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:47:24 +0000 http://www.zilledefeu.com/?p=1330#comment-2584 The dramas on Fet can get a bit annoying hmm sort of like family? Anyway Zille you explained everything just right! The dramas on Fet can get a bit annoying hmm sort of like family? Anyway Zille you explained everything just right!

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