Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

The fire was crackling beside us as we lay on a cushion on the floor of the cottage. The freezing English night was blowing around the walls, emphasizing the heated moment within.I was red-eyed from crying from pain, and marks and weals were raised in burning lines across my bottom and thighs. Now, my Master was lying on top of me, his body heavy and hot over mine, his eyes staring intently down into my own.With his eyes burning into mine, he asked me if I would obey him, if I would accept his discipline. I breathed, “Yes, Sir,” to each question, trying to listen to his every word and not just swoon back into the deep pool of joy, happiness, and “dream-come-true” that was flooding my mind.Then, he took me, pushing himself into me, his eyes meeting mine. Well, until he flipped me over into doggie style. And then, in the end, he pushed me down his body, and I drank in his mastery of me with his come.

I noticed him immediately. I was drawn to him, and didn’t know why, and dismissed it with a curt, “Don’t be attracted to guys just because they have English accents” to myself.

But I stayed in contact with him. He shot pictures – excellent pictures – of my wife and I for the porn site we were running. It gave me an excuse to spend time with him, to flirt a bit – although once I had admitted my crush to myself, I felt very shy around him.

I invited him to my parties, and he showed up to nearly all of them. At one, he offered to rub my feet (I’d been in 6 inch stilettos all night, and by 2 AM it was beginning to tell on me), and I remember being so excited about the feel of his fingers on my stockings – when he tried to stop, I told him no! Funny how I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that now!

One night, my wife and I invited him over to dinner. I generally did most of the cooking, and that night put out a table full of Chicken Marengo, mushroom risotto, and well, the rest of the meal is lost to the mists of time. I do remember that my future Master brought a bottle of dessert wine – he remembered my tastes! (Which are those of a five-year-old.)

That night, my wife went to bed early with a headache, and I tried to flirt with my future Master. I failed utterly. I kept slowly moving closer to him on the sofa, looking deeply into his eyes – he never noticed! He thought I was just a lesbian, not bisexual, and it never occurred to him that I might flirt with him! He left to go home later, and I skulked to bed, most displeased with how things turned out.

Then, he started dating this girl (to this day I call her the “cheese girl,”) who didn’t appreciate him at all – I never liked her! (Me, jealous? Never! Okay, well, a little … maybe even a lot….)

Cut to about a year later – I’m dating Bear (and we are very polyamorous,) and I finally get to try again with The Man Who Will Be My Master. I find this out in a phone call with my soon-to-be Master, where I inquire how things are with him and the cheese (althought at the time I had to call her by name), and he says they have broken up. I try very hard to sound sympathetic, but inside I am crowing with delight! I tell him, “Oh, we should go out nightclubbing together. If you ever need a girlie on your arm, think of me!” I tried to flirt more obviously, but I just couldn’t – every time I tried I’d wimp out – I was just so afraid of rejection; which is funny, because I hadn’t been scared like that since I first went to college! Suddenly, the girl who was very sure of herself (full of herself, too, maybe just a little…) was gawky and shy and giggling and making a fool of herself just like a teenager on her first date. It was frustrating and embarrassing!

Months go past. My Master-to-be goes out of town for a long time, and I don’t hear from him at all. I’m dejected, thinking he’s just not interested.

Then, he came back, and I don’t remember exactly what gets us in contact again (although I’m sure I found any possible reason I could) and then I suggested we do another shoot – finally, time to be alone with him in a sexual situation! The shoot never did come about, but it did lead to me finally getting him to think of an event he’d like to go to – and invite me, too!

It was a SF fetish event, Slick, on July 30th. But things happened even before then!

After we had planned it, a porn star friend of mine was coming down to SF and offered to shoot trade content with me (I was still doing my porn site at the time.) You can’t say “no” to free excellent content! So I didn’t – but then she suggested that she meet up with me at the Slick, and come home with me (since I always had her crash at my place when she came down, to help keep her expenses low.) But, my plan had been for the evening, to get quite drunk (liquid courage), and on the way home, while I was trapped in the car with him, to finally just balls-out declare my feelings for him. Now, that plan had some wrinkles in it, because there would be this other person sitting in the back-seat!

I called him to let him know he would be delivering two girls home instead of one – and he says, “Oh … so you have a date?” My heart sinks deep into my stomach. “Oh, NO!” I assure him, “We’re just like sisters. Well, sisters who make porn together.”

I get off the phone, and I have this instant of realization, that feels like it lasts some hours, that if this (him and me) is ever going happen, I just have to tell him right out, right now, how I feel.

So I call him back. It’s been about 45 seconds in real-time, I guess. “Oh, it’s you again!” He greets me. Trying to put on an act of composure and poise that I really didn’t have at all, I chirp brightly, “Didja miss me?”

He laughs. “Someone needs a spanking,” he says. This gives me the best “in” I could ever have hoped for, so I, with slightly less poise, say, “Uh, well, actually, that’s what I’m calling about….” “Yes?” he asks. Now my pretend-poise deserts me entirely. “Uh, well, um, I, er, well, I would … um, like to be … spanked by you … and, uh, well, I was … wondering if you would, er, like to spank … me…?”

That was coolly confident line I propositioned my future Master with! Yes, I’m with you all that it’s amazing that anything came from it!

But he said he thought he might, and I went to bed mortally embarrassed (I must have blushed all night in my sleep!) but at least it was out there, and received pretty well.

A couple days later, I was a model for a workshop he was doing on fetish photography. It was in Bear’s studio, but, after the workshop, Bear had to run another girl home, so my future Master and I got some time to ourselves. He dressed me in jodhpurs and bent me over his lap, and spanked me. It was so good, I almost came right then and there – but I was too embarrassed to be coming from a few minutes of spanking (but, ahhhh, he did it so well!) Then we had these tender moments where he caressed me, and then we had some time with me kneeling in front of him, looking up into his lovely chocolate-y eyes.

We didn’t know how much time we had, so we got dressed, picked up, and waited. And waited. Bear was taking a very long time to return. My almost-Master and I talked, and I found out that I was a babbling idiot when I tried to talk to him. We hugged and kissed, but our timing wasn’t right, we weren’t used to each other. The possibilities were quite there, however! And I couldn’t wait for more!

[to be continued]

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