Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Two things are making me think about my schoolgirl uniforms, today.

One, American Apparel has just come out with their own line of Pleated Schoolgirl Skirts which is really good news, because it means that it is much easier to pick up very authentic looking (not the slutty, obviously fake kind) skirts which are nonetheless made to fit people who have secondary sex characteristics (relevantly: a hip to waist ratio which is not equal!) They have a range of colours including: Heather Taupe, Light Charcoal, Dark Charcoal, Navy, and Black.

For me, authenticity is just so very vital. I don’t mind wearing a tarty little tartan number for parties, or in a joking way around vanillas or spankos who will find it funny. But for real scenes with Mr Defeu and other people who care about such things, well, authenticity is where my heart lies; it helps me get into that vulnerable headspace which makes a spanking scene so much more intense. For me, a slutty skirt would actually act as a shield, something I can hide behind, not something which helps me open up. (I realise this is ironic when the slutty skirt involves so much less material. It’s just one of those weird things: I feel emotionally nakeder in the longer skirt, with big ol regulation knickers under that!)

On the other hand, I don’t want to be just wearing an ill-fitting costume. I want the uniform to be something I would wear, something in which I can look smart. So sometimes, it is hard for me to balance the desire to get all my schoolgirl clothes from the children’s uniform section. Making real schoolgirl skirts for adults addresses this problem perfectly. (After all, the skirt fit you when you were a child. Why should an ill-fitting one be more “authentic” than one made for your current shape and size?)

Also, Maggie Mayhem has done a very intense post entitled Why I Hated My School Girl Skirt Then And Why I’ll Fuck In It Now. A quote I really like:

Porn isn’t in the wrong for using the school girl uniform, schools are already forcing and establishing the dominance pecking order by establishing a school girl uniform. That’s some non-consensual D/s shit and it’s much more appropriate to do between two consenting adults. Consensual outlets for self-aware control freaks, that is my sexual harm reduction method. Your brain is the best sex toy you will ever own and part of fighting oppression is looking into yourself and how it holds you back and how to participate in it. When you eroticize something, you pull it from that context and begin to engage with it in a way that moves towards more awareness. Just playacting doesn’t create the conscious awareness, thinking about why and the context with which you have those feelings is a separate and long process. At the very least, the images jump to the forefront of your brain in a place where you cannot and will not ignore them completely.

So what’s the word for that sexual identity?

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