Comments on: Topic to consider: norms in the kink community…. http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/topic-to-consider-norms-in-the-kink-community/ fetish and kink, spanking and sex - in words and pictures Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:33:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: ext_36932 http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/topic-to-consider-norms-in-the-kink-community/comment-page-1/#comment-157 ext_36932 Thu, 05 Apr 2007 23:17:35 +0000 http://zilledefeu.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/topic-to-consider-norms-in-the-kink-community/#comment-157 Hi gelts! Again...no offense at all taken earlier! I should have clarified in my blog that ...to me a good Dom should have these qualitites...I certainly was not trying to make rules for Doms in general or prescribe a cookie cutter pattern for us all. I agree with what you have written above and I hope you do plan on exploring it more. I also think that my idea of a good Dom is based on my experiences at present....if for some reason in the future my current lover is replaced with someone else I am sure his amazing qualitites may override some of my opinions now! I do not agree with labels either especially in situations where everyone's needs are so different. Hi gelts! Again…no offense at all taken earlier! I should have clarified in my blog that …to me a good Dom should have these qualitites…I certainly was not trying to make rules for Doms in general or prescribe a cookie cutter pattern for us all.
I agree with what you have written above and I hope you do plan on exploring it more. I also think that my idea of a good Dom is based on my experiences at present….if for some reason in the future my current lover is replaced with someone else I am sure his amazing qualitites may override some of my opinions now!
I do not agree with labels either especially in situations where everyone’s needs are so different.

]]> By: olander http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/topic-to-consider-norms-in-the-kink-community/comment-page-1/#comment-156 olander Thu, 05 Apr 2007 12:27:53 +0000 http://zilledefeu.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/topic-to-consider-norms-in-the-kink-community/#comment-156 People like labels. Its one of the amusing things about them. I've seen people get deep into their lifestyle and the deeper they go, the more the armchair philosopher comes out in them. My theory is that when you are following the mainstream, you don't really need to justify your day to day existence. It has been established. However, if you're going to make the conscious choice to break away from that, then you need to re-establish what is normal and moral within the context of your alternative. My humorous quotes on the phenomena are pretty limited, but I do remember something from friends along the lines of "Boy, you sure do have a lot of books on being a lesbian." That's not to say its all sex related either. The Gamer geek version of this is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GNS_Theory" rel="nofollow">GNS Theory</a>, which not only has its opponents and supporters but also its factions within the theory. People like labels. Its one of the amusing things about them. I’ve seen people get deep into their lifestyle and the deeper they go, the more the armchair philosopher comes out in them. My theory is that when you are following the mainstream, you don’t really need to justify your day to day existence. It has been established. However, if you’re going to make the conscious choice to break away from that, then you need to re-establish what is normal and moral within the context of your alternative. My humorous quotes on the phenomena are pretty limited, but I do remember something from friends along the lines of “Boy, you sure do have a lot of books on being a lesbian.”

That’s not to say its all sex related either. The Gamer geek version of this is GNS Theory, which not only has its opponents and supporters but also its factions within the theory.

]]> By: the_falconer http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/topic-to-consider-norms-in-the-kink-community/comment-page-1/#comment-155 the_falconer Wed, 04 Apr 2007 21:15:58 +0000 http://zilledefeu.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/topic-to-consider-norms-in-the-kink-community/#comment-155 I definitely agree with this, and have been musing on a post of my own about labels and descriptions and such. I think part of all this comes from the very natural desire to be able to have a dialogue about kink, and so people have tried to develop a common language. The problem is that they've failed, since no-one seems to agree on terms. As to safewords - my girl has one (and it's important to her), but she would never use it, so I have to act as if she doesn't. I definitely agree with this, and have been musing on a post of my own about labels and descriptions and such. I think part of all this comes from the very natural desire to be able to have a dialogue about kink, and so people have tried to develop a common language. The problem is that they’ve failed, since no-one seems to agree on terms.

As to safewords – my girl has one (and it’s important to her), but she would never use it, so I have to act as if she doesn’t.

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