Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies

Last night I became a sex-crazed beast!

Let’s back that up a bit. In the first place, you lot all know I’m “sex-crazed” to begin with, so it wasn’t that far of a stretch … but normally I keep it in check. I think the sexy thoughts, discuss sex with whoever would like to talk about it with me, and proposition Mr Defeu at regular intervals. (“You know, Sir, the cure for that is sex.” “I think this calls for a blowjob!” “Maybe later, we could do some rumpy-pumpy…?”)

But I no longer generally actively initiate sex, seeing as how I belong to Mr Defeu. I don’t slink sultrily over to him, bend his head back for a kiss that leaves no doubt as to what is about to happen, and then start pulling his clothes off. That’s not the right kind of behaviour for me anymore. I can suggest that sex might be nice, I can wear provocative clothes and try and get his attention by being sex personified, I can beg him to please spank me and fuck me senseless. But I cannot say, “Now we are having sex,” and by extension, I can’t just go up to him and start to sex him up. (There is a difference between starting sex, and hanging all over him looking available and eager!)

Anyway, what happened last night was that I tried out a new sleep medication, Ambien. There have been some reports of people hallucinating, sleepwalking, and doing stuff they don’t remember on Ambien, although it’s otherwise an excellent sleep-aid. I had gotten it for the flight to Oz, but when I saw the list of possible side-effects, I decided to test it one night while I was out here, and if all was well use it on the flight home, so I’d just wake up back in the U.S., rested and ready to go.

Well, it’s a good thing I tested it. It knocked all my inhibitions and mental checks down! A while after I took it, I suddenly realized that I felt very, very stoned. I figured this meant it was time to go to bed, and I got permission to do my evening ablutions. By the time I came out of the bathroom, I was hot and horny and ready!

I don’t remember very well what followed. I think I got into bed and rubbed myself up against him like a cat in heat, and suggested (demanded, even?) that he play with my breasts. I do remember that he did play with my breasts, and I remember what I hallucinated as he did (if you’re wondering: it was a visualization of the sensations as they happened, and looked a bit like dripping mercury).

Then I’m pretty sure that I gave him a blowjob (I remember putting his cock in my mouth, and telling him how much I loved it) and I think I hallucinated all through that (again, visualizations of sensations – being a visual artist and writer, I’m big on the synesthesia when my brain is not-sober).

Then, I’m pretty sure he had me go get the lube (I have a brief memory of stumbling across the room and hoping it came to hand easily, because I knew I wasn’t sober enough for a rational and effective search), and then, lube in hand, going back to him and climbing on for the ride. I don’t remember actual physical sensations – I don’t even know if I came – but the mental laser light show was astounding!

I think he came really quickly, which made me inordinately proud. I remember asking him if it was good, and he said yes, but having sex with me was very different. I know I asked how-so, but I don’t remember the answer, nor anything else after that. (He says I insisted on petting and caressing him for a long time.)

So, um, wow! I don’t really do drugs much, because they tend to have side-effects I don’t appreciate … but this drug is a new favourite! I hope Mr Defeu lets me take it, now and then, because not only was it as much fun as an amusement park ride, but I then got a great night’s sleep!

And, heh, it’s a darned good thing I didn’t try it on the plane! Could you imagine me just jumping on Mr Defeu mid-flight?! (Or worse, the person sitting next to us!) Of course, I wouldn’t be scared of flying, so it would have been entirely effective … just not quite expected!

(N.B. — This isn’t the first time being non-sober has resulted in me letting my animal lusts out upon the world. If I take enough drink, I will start coming onto anyone I fancy within a drunken radius. Most of my parties end with me making out with any of my friends who will hold still for it. This has continued even after Mr Defeu took me in hand: he just sits back and watches in bemusement at the whole thing. Even whilst very, very drunk, he knows he can trust me not to take it too far. Although I’m not sure that would be the case with me on Ambien!!!)

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